Most polite way to ask the Girl out

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ServantStrike

Guest
#21
#21
If you like someone just ask them out. Whatever that means to you short of professing your undying allegiance and affection.

Examples:

"Hey, I really like you're style, I'd like to hang out some time - what's your phone number"

"Psssst, (so and so), what's your number"

"I really like that you are in to (such and such), would you like to go and do (such and such) together some time"

"You mentioned you've always wanted to try (such and such). How about you and I make that happen"



Or you know.

TANGO DOWN..... err I mean hey let's go take some dancing lessons together.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#22
Aug 13, 2014
24,947
8,185
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#22
"Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipes if the answer is no
(tap tap tap) means you'll meet me in the hallway
Twice on the pipes (ding ding) means you ain't gonna show"
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#23
#23
Oh sweet mercy, why did they take away the edit feature!

I made a serious typo in that post of mine!


 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#24
Aug 13, 2014
24,947
8,185
113
#24
Yeah, people on forums and in chat will get you over you're/your and their/there.

"You know your growing in grace when others notice you are no longer correcting there mistakes." :rolleyes:
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#25
#25
Lynx said:
Yeah, people on forums and in chat will get you over you're/your and their/there.

"You know your growing in grace when others notice you are no longer correcting there mistakes." :rolleyes:
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I just died a little inside.


Actually what kills me is when people can't spell masturbation.

Not only are the threads awkward to begin with, but I really don't want to think about someone who can't spell the word doing the deed. It sounds even dirtier. Makes my skin crawl.

There, now everyone knows my Kryptonite.
 
gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#26
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
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#26
actually, i really appreciate it if a guy will tell me at least a little about why he wants to know me better. it helps me understand why he feels like we might have a connection.

for example:

i think it's really cool that you [insert quality or interest] and would enjoy getting to know you better. what do you think about having coffee on tuesday?

i think guys often forget when they ask us out ask us out, THEY are the ones who have spent time thinking about asking us out, but for us, it's usually not that way, because we're the ones on the spot.

often, he's sometimes a guy from left field--who wasn't even on our radar. and, as a result, i haven't paid much attention beyond superficial observation. if he tells me what he has connected with, or a quality that is intriguing to him, then it helps me frame a little better about who he is, and what is important to him.

if you do that, make sure it's not so generic that it sounds lame, like, "i think you're really nice". or just some, "i think you're pretty" random observation, because the point of the comment is to show them what you value, as opposed to paying a compliment.

also, if you're concerned, i'd make it a casual date, like for coffee. it's easier for me to accept a coffee date because i know i'm not going to be roped into a big thing, especially if i am not sure what i think about the guy. guys forget that while you may be spending time thinking about asking us out it's often really not expected (at that time, or even more than a passing thought).
 
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gypsygirl

gypsygirl

Senior Member
#27
Sep 19, 2012
1,394
60
48
#27
gypsygirl said:
actually, i really appreciate it if a guy will tell me at least a little about why he wants to know me better. it helps me understand why he feels like we might have a connection.

for example:

i think it's really cool that you [insert quality or interest] and would enjoy getting to know you better. what do you think about having coffee on tuesday?

i think guys often forget when they ask us out ask us out, THEY are the ones who have spent time thinking about asking us out, but for us, it's usually not that way, because we're the ones on the spot.

often, he's sometimes a guy from left field--who wasn't even on our radar. and, as a result, i haven't paid much attention beyond superficial observation. if he tells me what he has connected with, or a quality that is intriguing to him, then it helps me frame a little better about who he is, and what is important to him.

if you do that, make sure it's not so generic that it sounds lame, like, "i think you're really nice". or just some, "i think you're pretty" random observation, because the point of the comment is to show them what you value, as opposed to paying a compliment.

also, if you're concerned, i'd make it a casual date, like for coffee. it's easier for me to accept a coffee date because i know i'm not going to be roped into a big thing, especially if i am not sure what i think about the guy. guys forget that while you may be spending time thinking about asking us out it's often really not expected (at that time, or even more than a passing thought).
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i really hate when i edit something and forget to delete the part i've re-arranged and added in a different place..

grrrr. stupid five minute rule. sorry for repeating myself. sigh.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#28
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#28
ServantStrike said:
I just died a little inside.


Actually what kills me is when people can't spell masturbation.

Not only are the threads awkward to begin with, but I really don't want to think about someone who can't spell the word doing the deed. It sounds even dirtier. Makes my skin crawl.

There, now everyone knows my Kryptonite.
Click to expand...
In high school there was this guy whose last name was Bates, so we would always address him as 'master'. Only those who knew his last name understood of course. True story. :rolleyes:
 
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Elijah19

Guest
#29
#29
Of course you'd want to be friends with the person and get to know their character first. That, for me, is a given. But even after that, the situation can be awkward. For example, it's always awkward for a guy to become good friends with a girl and think she has a thing for him because they can act close with each other, then all the sudden he asks her out and she just wanted to be friends. In my opinion, that can be almost just as bad as the other situation, because then there is an awkward wedge driven between otherwise good friends... I've had it happen before.
 
H

Human

Banned
#30
Oct 30, 2014
1,150
7
0
#30
Elijah19 said:
Asking a girl out can be a delicate process for a guy, because it takes both the guts and toughness to walk up to it, as well as the sensitive heart to open your emotions to somebody else.

It can equally be a delicate process for a girl, I imagine, because it will be both flattering and a little startling.

I have asked a lot of girls out on dates in my time, and some have said yes while others rejected. I've learned to accept both answers understanding.

But what I want to know is this: What is the most polite and appropriate way to ask a girl out? Sometimes I'll ask and my friends of both genders will say that I "came on too strong" and other times they will say I "came on too weak". It's weird because this is a delicate balance. If I try to be polite, they say I come across too weak, but if I try to be be rugged and manly, they say I come across too strong. And to top it all off, if I try to just be myself and be honest, they tell me I come across as "Creepy" (which really hurts my ego).

So where's the happy median?

Ladies, I'm asking you primarily. What is the most Strong AND Polite way to ask a girl out that is Honest but not Creepy?

Thanks and God bless you
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The best way to score a date is not to ask questions like ''when are you free?'' or ''would you like to go out sometime?'' or ''Can I take you for coffee?'' (though the last one is better than the first two) They are a bit too open ended, and you're essentially giving her all the power of veto -- free reign to decide whether you're adequate enough for her to allow you into her life or accept your advances. What you want to do instead is give her the choice to get into your life or not, and thereby keep that power of veto for yourself -- you can always cancel, since these are YOUR plans and you're allowing her into them. So, instead, say something like ''You know what I really love?? A good Americano! What about you??'' and if she says ''aww yea I love coffee, I'm more of a cappuccino fan though'' (common interest established) reply something like ''Well I'll be at Columbiana Coffee Bar at lunch-time tomorrow, between one and two. There'll be a cappuccino with your name on it''.

If she turns up, then score. If she doesn't, and offers a valid reason and apologizes (which means she values you enough to let you know why she hasn't arrived) say something like ''You know, dinner this weekend would definitely make up for it'' and take it from there.

Allow her into your life, rather than try to push into hers or wait for her to make an adjudication on your worthiness. You are already worthy mate, and she should feel privelaged to be invited into your life. It's harder for a woman who is interested in you to reject an invite into your schedule and your life because if she is interested, you are enticing her with what she wants. It's easier for a woman to reject you when you ask for approval. There's a subtle shift in dynamic here but it makes the difference between assertion of yourself, or veneration of her.
 
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Elijah19

Guest
#31
#31
Thanks for the info, gypsygrl.
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#32
Jul 31, 2013
36,685
13,139
113
#32
you might want to ask first "is it OK if i flirt with you?"

that used to go over pretty well for me, haha.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#33
#33
posthuman said:
you might want to ask first "is it OK if i flirt with you?"

that used to go over pretty well for me, haha.
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That seems like a better strategy than cheesy pick up lines.


But the lines.. they're so punny!
 
posthuman

posthuman

Senior Member
#34
Jul 31, 2013
36,685
13,139
113
#34
ServantStrike said:
That seems like a better strategy than cheesy pick up lines.


But the lines.. they're so punny!
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goes with the whole genuineness and honesty thing, and as polite as i can think of hee hee

i save the punniness for the actual date.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#35
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
58
48
#35
As gypsygirl mentioned, you have to give her a reason that is convincing enough for her to agree to go out for coffee with you. This is the bare minimum. Ideally, it is better to know a bit about her before you ask her out - her likes, her dislikes, etc. The reason, as Ugly and Grace pointed out, is to minimize the risk of getting into a relationship without knowing whether your attraction for her may grow or wane.

That being said, I think humour is a handy weapon when you ask a girl out. For example, you may stutter or botch up what you wanted to tell her but if you can make a joke out of it, she will probably laugh it off and agree to go out with you anyway. Or, if you are waiting at a queue in a bus stop, you can point out the humour in the situation. Everybody likes a laugh, now and then. So if you can be the guy who made her laugh, you have improved your chances.

The last thing is, as Tintin mentioned, you have to show that you are capable of her trust. Confidence, my man. Confidence. You have to ooze confidence. That confidence must come from knowing who you are, from knowing what you want from her and from knowing Christ. Throw in a bit of swag, if you want to take it retro. :)


I always add this part at the end because it is not easy to do - While you are at it, try and find a horse and shining armour. The ladies always swoon for that stunt. It's too bad I can't do this because horses run away when they see a bear charging at them. :p
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#36
#36
Roh_Chris said:
As gypsygirl mentioned, you have to give her a reason that is convincing enough for her to agree to go out for coffee with you. This is the bare minimum. Ideally, it is better to know a bit about her before you ask her out - her likes, her dislikes, etc. The reason, as Ugly and Grace pointed out, is to minimize the risk of getting into a relationship without knowing whether your attraction for her may grow or wane.

That being said, I think humour is a handy weapon when you ask a girl out. For example, you may stutter or botch up what you wanted to tell her but if you can make a joke out of it, she will probably laugh it off and agree to go out with you anyway. Or, if you are waiting at a queue in a bus stop, you can point out the humour in the situation. Everybody likes a laugh, now and then. So if you can be the guy who made her laugh, you have improved your chances.

The last thing is, as Tintin mentioned, you have to show that you are capable of her trust. Confidence, my man. Confidence. You have to ooze confidence. That confidence must come from knowing who you are, from knowing what you want from her and from knowing Christ. Throw in a bit of swag, if you want to take it retro. :)


I always add this part at the end because it is not easy to do - While you are at it, try and find a horse and shining armour. The ladies always swoon for that stunt. It's too bad I can't do this because horses run away when they see a bear charging at them. :p
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To be fair, if I saw a bear riding a horse I would probably crap my pants, and I'm a dude.

I mean, it would be proof that the bears had finally organized.

 
T

Tintin

Guest
#37
#37
Roh_Chris said:
As gypsygirl mentioned, you have to give her a reason that is convincing enough for her to agree to go out for coffee with you. This is the bare minimum. Ideally, it is better to know a bit about her before you ask her out - her likes, her dislikes, etc. The reason, as Ugly and Grace pointed out, is to minimize the risk of getting into a relationship without knowing whether your attraction for her may grow or wane.

That being said, I think humour is a handy weapon when you ask a girl out. For example, you may stutter or botch up what you wanted to tell her but if you can make a joke out of it, she will probably laugh it off and agree to go out with you anyway. Or, if you are waiting at a queue in a bus stop, you can point out the humour in the situation. Everybody likes a laugh, now and then. So if you can be the guy who made her laugh, you have improved your chances.

The last thing is, as Tintin mentioned, you have to show that you are capable of her trust. Confidence, my man. Confidence. You have to ooze confidence. That confidence must come from knowing who you are, from knowing what you want from her and from knowing Christ. Throw in a bit of swag, if you want to take it retro. :)


I always add this part at the end because it is not easy to do - While you are at it, try and find a horse and shining armour. The ladies always swoon for that stunt. It's too bad I can't do this because horses run away when they see a bear charging at them. :p
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Confidence? I'm working on it, brother.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#38
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
79
48
33
#38
You could hit her over the head with a club and then drag her back to your cave and see if she likes your cave paintings.

Oh wait, you said the polite way? Hmmm...
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#39
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,587
113
#39
rachelsedge said:
You could hit her over the head with a club and then drag her back to your cave and see if she likes your cave paintings.

Oh wait, you said the polite way? Hmmm...
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The polite way to do it is to give a warning first: "Excuse me, ma'am. I apologize, but this may sting a little. I promise it will all be worth it."

BAM!!!!
 
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