How hard is it to find a Christian girl that's my age that's a virgin.

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dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#1
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
0
#1
Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)
 
shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#2
May 7, 2010
729
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#2
I see you are 23. At that age, I would imagine it's rather difficult to find a young woman, even a Christian one, who hasn't gone further than what you've said. The world has so influenced the church, and the church has been lax in responding.

It is good to be wise about who you choose. I don't blame you at all for not wanting to date someone who has a child. That's a kind of stress that I don't think I could handle. Just be careful you aren't holding their past against them if they've repented of their old, immoral ways. There is no condemnation from God for those who are in Christ, and neither should they receive condemnation from fellow believers.
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#3
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
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#3
Go sit in the corner and think about what you just said Dothack.
 
I

IsabellaTilney

Guest
#4
#4
I have to disagree! There are still christian girls out there that actually save themselves for their husbands! I happen to be one of them, and I know that im not the only one. Its ok to have those expectations, just wait on the Lord, he will bring you your wife!
 
B

Brandon777

Guest
#5
#5
It's your opinion that matters, but why overlook a girl that has a kid? Maybe she broke up with the father because she wanted to pursue Christ. And again, it's your opinion that matters, but what if a girl said a similar thing to you about having watched porn and then wouldn't court you for that?
 
S

surfs_for_christ

Guest
#6
#6
I agree it is difficult to find people fitting that description nowadays. however if you do meet someone who is not a virgin who has repented for that, giving mercy and showing the grace of God. All men fall short of the glory of God, some in sexual impurities some in other ways. Yes, I am not disagreeing that it is disheartening to see so many people giving their gift of virginity away, but thats when you come in with compassion and humility and show love through Christ.
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#7
Jul 25, 2005
2,417
34
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#7
Always be willing to forgive. Even virgins have scars.
 
A

adekruif

Guest
#8
#8
dothackzero said:
Basically I met a girl at chruch tonight. She was really easy to talk to, but then I found out she had a kid and I lost interest.(Short version, had a longer one typed but my computer shut down and I didn't want to type it again)

I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.

But yeah, basically this is making wonder how hard is to find a church girl that's about my age that's a virgin. btw, I consider a virgin as someone that hasn't gone fauther than tounge to tounge making out.(Even then I'd perfer that she hasn't even done that.)
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It's NOT. Why does she have to be a virgin anyway? Does that signify she's somehow betterin God's eyes or something? Is it more inportant that she is a virgin or that she loves God more than anything else? Answer that and then think about your answer. If she loves God more than anything else, and wants to please HIM, then honestly why does it matter what she did in the past.

And I hope that my wife is a virgin, but if I am interested in somebody and I find out they are not, it's NOT a lights out, game over deal breaker for me....and I don't see why it would/should be for anyone.

If that comes across as harsh, it wasn't meant that way.....just trying to help you Dot. :)
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
eugenius: THANK YOU!

dot: What if a girl is not a virgin because of something that happened to her, not because she was promiscuous? There are a lot of young ladies out there who are victims, who might be reading this and decide that no decent guy will ever want to be with them. As christians, we really need to be careful with our words.
 
M

mori

Guest
#10
#10
Depending on where you are in the world, 60%-90% of people have herpes. About 1/5 of American women have HSV-2, the type you're probably trying to avoid. Odds are good that you have herpes but, like most people, aren't showing symptoms because you're not immunodeficient. On another note, most people didn't get herpes through sexual activity, licit or otherwise.

Personally, I'm a little pickier - ebola is a turnoff. Marburg is negotiable.
 
L

Lucy68

Senior Member
#11
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
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#11
I feel sorry for this girl already.
 
L

Liz01

Guest
#12
#12
hahahahahahahahahahaha, Lucy68 you made me laugh a lot hahaha


ps. I agree with you and eugenius
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
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#13
Lucy68 said:
I feel sorry for this girl already.
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You took the words right of my mouth. But, Dot is still young. Once he gets to know women better, he'll hopefully realize how unimportant it is to find a virgin.
 
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genipher_elizabeth

genipher_elizabeth

Banned
#14
Dec 6, 2011
22
0
0
#14
This frustrates me a lot. Haha I understand why you'd want a virgin, but the fact that you seem to toss girls aside and/or look down upon them because they're not is extremely annoying. (Especially since you sound like kissing with tongue is close to losing one's virginity... Ha.)

I can understand if you don't want children and are choosing not to date someone because they have them... But if you want children in the future, then why toss someone aside because of that?

I am a virgin, by technical standards, but I've made my mistakes. I think it happens to a lot of us as we get older and are trying to figure out who we are and what life's about. There's always that one person who makes you falter and do something you thought you never would. You get caught up in a moment and it just happens. People make mistakes though, and God forgives us of these things. We regret, we learn, we grow. SO many of the solid Christians in my life had sex before marriage. (Several with their future spouses, but still before they were wed.) I'm not saying it's an okay thing to do. I've made the choice to wait myself. But, even people close to God get caught up in being human. Don't disregard someone because they're human. Show them favor because their heart is currently WITH God. Appreciate them for their current being, don't judge them based on their past. Judging based on someone's past is the most annoying thing in the world!
 
E

ebyown

Guest
#17
#17
if u r a virgin it is a reasonable expectation. according to the law when 2 people engage in consentual sexual relations they are married by that act. so if u marry someone who has already given their virginity away it is adulterous in nature. that does not mean that the past sins cannot be forgiven but there are consequences for our sinful behavior that last throughout our lives. and those consequeces affect our relationships with others including spouses. so wanting to enter into holy union with a fellow virgin is a righteous and worthy desire.

as some here have expressed that they are also gaurding their purity for their future spouse it is not impossible to be blessed with such a union. It is His desire also that we live holy lives and do not suffer the results of sinful behavior in our lives on ourselves or those we love.

it is ashame the society approves of and encourages immoral actions and we are all suffering with the affects of that in our daily lives.

do not be discouraged by doing good and hoping for a holy relationship with someone likeminded.
 
dothackzero

dothackzero

Banned
#18
May 4, 2009
1,534
6
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#18
dothackzero said:
I'd still perfer a virgin for a wife by a lot, though I think I would accept that isn't a virgin as long as she does have something like herpes or hiv. Though I don't think I'd want someone that has a kid.
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I find it funny that everyone seems to be missing this part.

btw, I'm a virgin, and haven't even kissed a girl yet.
 
D

djness

Guest
#19
#19
Do you want a wife or do you want a girlfriend? I don't know that God will parade by some women for you to choose from. Try asking Him what He wants from you and for you.

Otherwise all you are going to end up with here is a variety of offensive and very defensive responses.
 
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