Single Ladies: Please tell me if you are this way when...

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Chey60

Guest
#1
#1
you can be yourself, cut up be witty, smart, confident and funny around men you have no interest in...and they all find you extremely attractive and wonder why you are still single..
but when you get around a man you are attracted to, you turn 16 and get all shy and lose your thoughts, can't speak and just are embarrassingly awkward?

I know that myself and many of my single friends are this way and it's ridonkulous..it's almost involuntary!

Also, some of my single friends and I admit that when we see an attractive man look our way, instead of smiling we turn our heads really fast..or just look away..
I get looked at alot and the first thing I think is "whats wrong with me" but sometimes if I think "that man is looking at me like he is attracted,.. look away!!" :) and I do..
I think sometimes I am afraid he is married or something and I don't want to flirt with a married man..
but other times I just guess I am afraid i will have to actually talk to him if I smile at him..
gosh.. is it just me and my group of single women? or do any of you feel this way too..
if not? how do you go about safely flirting and letting men know you are approachable..without feeling as if you are being too alluring..
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#2
Sep 17, 2013
5,536
2,702
113
Georgia
#2
I always turn bright red and look away... lol
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#3
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#3
Guys never consider me witty and bright and wonder why I'm still single. :) They know full well why yours truly is still single.

The only men I can't be myself around are really attractive guys with long hair or truly godly single men. I don't meet them often, so I'm myself 99% of the time. :) The truly godly men I meet are either married already or are online and too young. Yup.

But, I totally know what you're saying. On those rarest of rare moments when one of these two criteria are met, look out world! Julie can't speak. :)
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#4
#4
It's so funny that we girls are like that. Men like confident women yet here we turn into a puddle of goo around the ones we really like..it's such a two edge sword. :) ! !haha thank you for responding! it's nice to know that we are normal ;)
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#5
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#5
What is it with maintaining eye contact? Someone genuinely smiles at me at Wal-Mart, and I barely have time to smile back before I'm suddenly inspecting the display next to me like there's a super fascinating watermelon-Airhead-90%-off-sale going on and I only just noticed. Aaauuurrrggghhh...

I really can't understand why it's so difficult to allow someone to know that I'm interested. Like if I held eye contact for more than a faux-distracted glance, I would be instantly sucked into a giant black hole along with the entire world.

I'm an idiot. -_-
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#6
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#6
Chey60 said:
you can be yourself, cut up be witty, smart, confident and funny around men you have no interest in...and they all find you extremely attractive and wonder why you are still single..
but when you get around a man you are attracted to, you turn 16 and get all shy and lose your thoughts, can't speak and just are embarrassingly awkward?

I know that myself and many of my single friends are this way and it's ridonkulous..it's almost involuntary!

Also, some of my single friends and I admit that when we see an attractive man look our way, instead of smiling we turn our heads really fast..or just look away..
I get looked at alot and the first thing I think is "whats wrong with me" but sometimes if I think "that man is looking at me like he is attracted,.. look away!!" :) and I do..
I think sometimes I am afraid he is married or something and I don't want to flirt with a married man..
but other times I just guess I am afraid i will have to actually talk to him if I smile at him..
gosh.. is it just me and my group of single women? or do any of you feel this way too..
if not? how do you go about safely flirting and letting men know you are approachable..without feeling as if you are being too alluring..
Click to expand...
When I see an attractive woman I... uhhh.. I ummmm... what were we talking about??
 
W

woka

Guest
#7
#7
Let this old married lady suggest that sometimes you need to just make a point of sitting by yourself after a church meeting, have open body language and be yourself girl, yes of course that is hard, but sometimes when you can't do the eye contact or the smile, then let the body language show you are approachable, and make the time for him to approach you to say hi.

Just my little suggestion
 
K

KeeganGentle

Guest
#8
#8
I think its cute when girls start stuttering or blushing or quickly look away:)
 
X

xXErraticEmilyXx

Guest
#9
#9
I'm just always awkward. I'm only completely myself with my girlfriend, Mo. I haven't seen her in a couple years now, but I'm very much an introvert.
as far as being approachable, I would guess just to make eye contact with people, smile at them, compliment them, ask them a question (which doesn't have to be about them. It just makes people think that you trust them or you're interested in what they think about something.) But really, so much of it is in body language.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#10
#10
As a guy... correction, as a guy without a huge ego and thinks he's Gods gift to women, this is not a female only issue. I can chat easily (well, relatively speaking) with women i have no interest in. But soon as one catches my eye my insides implode and i get ultra self conscious even if she isn't noticing me. Because i just know know know she's going to just happen to look my way at right as i sneeze out all seasons sinuses or something awkward.
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#11
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#11
Gosh this thread brings back memories. I grew up with three much older brothers and a very strict Dad who's not only greek, but a pastor aswell. I literally did not have much interaction with the opposite gender on a social level. I was absolutely terrified of interacting with guys. I would go into spaz mode..blushing, rambling on about stuff in an awkward way, better yet I'd threaten to beat them up. Yeah, just what every guy wants to hear when he tries to talk to a girl..Complete freak out.

Thank goodness I grew out of threatening them with violence lol. But I still do the whole blushing and rambling thing. Sometimes I'll even pull a run-away-bride, Julia Roberts style stunt where I'll make a run for it. It's just so awkward and scary. But sometimes you can't run away and have to resort to hiding underneath your blanket >_> true story! Try being stuck in a hospital bed, not looking your complete best, and your Dad goes for a walk about during visiting hour, only to return with a guy. Then your dad proceeds to say that he brought the guy, who he randomly met outside your room, to meet you. Not to mention, also telling the guy that you're single IN FRONT OF YOU! Then you have this random stranger telling you that all things happen for a reason. Can I just say that was a real twilight zone moment. Ack! I'm cringing just remembering..My whole face was red and I just pulled my blanket over my head. Never again do I allow my Dad to go for a walk-about while visiting me in hospital.
 
K

Kia123

Guest
#12
#12
KeeganGentle said:
I think its cute when girls start stuttering or blushing or quickly look away:)
Click to expand...
Haha well as long as the guy is understanding its cool:p

but this is me ..............................................................................................................................yea........................................................really...............................................................................................................................interesting.....................ok bye.

haha or the oppossite and i randomly talk about serial killers and joke about being one. my friends always crack up when i try talking to a guy that i like !

it can be horribly embarrassing:(
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
Phia said:
Gosh this thread brings back memories. I grew up with three much older brothers and a very strict Dad who's not only greek, but a pastor aswell. I literally did not have much interaction with the opposite gender on a social level. I was absolutely terrified of interacting with guys. I would go into spaz mode..blushing, rambling on about stuff in an awkward way, better yet I'd threaten to beat them up. Yeah, just what every guy wants to hear when he tries to talk to a girl..Complete freak out.

Thank goodness I grew out of threatening them with violence lol. But I still do the whole blushing and rambling thing. Sometimes I'll even pull a run-away-bride, Julia Roberts style stunt where I'll make a run for it. It's just so awkward and scary. But sometimes you can't run away and have to resort to hiding underneath your blanket >_> true story! Try being stuck in a hospital bed, not looking your complete best, and your Dad goes for a walk about during visiting hour, only to return with a guy. Then your dad proceeds to say that he brought the guy, who he randomly met outside your room, to meet you. Not to mention, also telling the guy that you're single IN FRONT OF YOU! Then you have this random stranger telling you that all things happen for a reason. Can I just say that was a real twilight zone moment. Ack! I'm cringing just remembering..My whole face was red and I just pulled my blanket over my head. Never again do I allow my Dad to go for a walk-about while visiting me in hospital.
Click to expand...
Yeah, hospitals are the worst. I've had an occasion or two where it seemed a nurse was being flirty and it's like 'really? here? now?' no.. haha

And i see you've given up blankets for hair. ;)
 
A

Arlene89

Guest
#14
#14
Kia123 said:
Haha well as long as the guy is understanding its cool:p

but this is me ..............................................................................................................................yea........................................................really...............................................................................................................................interesting.....................ok bye.

haha or the oppossite and i randomly talk about serial killers and joke about being one. my friends always crack up when i try talking to a guy that i like !

it can be horribly embarrassing:(
Click to expand...
Must be something about us Australian women and the serial killer jokes. I usually pull out the 'standing at the end of your bed, breathing heavily' joke when chatting to a man for the first time. Then I laugh really loud... and he doesn't.
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#15
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#15
Kia123 said:
Haha well as long as the guy is understanding its cool:p

but this is me ..............................................................................................................................yea........................................................really...............................................................................................................................interesting.....................ok bye.

haha or the oppossite and i randomly talk about serial killers and joke about being one. my friends always crack up when i try talking to a guy that i like !

it can be horribly embarrassing:(
Click to expand...

Haha that sounds pretty awesome actually lol ^_^ I think I'm gonna try that the next time I talk to a guy. I'll be like "Yeah, I'm a serial killer. How about I stalk you?" *wiggle eyebrows* If that doesn't work..then I can always resort to using a She's the Man line "Do you like cheese?"
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#16
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#16
Ugly said:
Yeah, hospitals are the worst. I've had an occasion or two where it seemed a nurse was being flirty and it's like 'really? here? now?' no.. haha

And i see you've given up blankets for hair. ;)
Click to expand...
I actually like the hospital where I go to. I'm friends with a lot of the nurses :) Haha actually that avatar hair pic is old. I don't have hair to hide behind anymore. I lost all my hair a month and a bit ago to chemo. Now I'm rocking the bald look. :D
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#17
#17
Phia said:
I actually like the hospital where I go to. I'm friends with a lot of the nurses :) Haha actually that avatar hair pic is old. I don't have hair to hide behind anymore. I lost all my hair a month and a bit ago to chemo. Now I'm rocking the bald look. :D
Click to expand...
Woo hoo. Baldies unite! ^5
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#18
#18
Grace-Like-Rain said:
What is it with maintaining eye contact? Someone genuinely smiles at me at Wal-Mart, and I barely have time to smile back before I'm suddenly inspecting the display next to me like there's a super fascinating watermelon-Airhead-90%-off-sale going on and I only just noticed. Aaauuurrrggghhh...

I really can't understand why it's so difficult to allow someone to know that I'm interested. Like if I held eye contact for more than a faux-distracted glance, I would be instantly sucked into a giant black hole along with the entire world.

I'm an idiot. -_-
Click to expand...
Haha!! that is exactly it!!!:) the eye contact and smile thing. :) good post !!:)
 
Phia

Phia

Senior Member
#19
Jul 7, 2011
175
2
18
#19
Ugly said:
Woo hoo. Baldies unite! ^5
Click to expand...
ROTFL! :) We should start a Baldies United Club. It's actually pretty awesome..one saves so much time. Plus you save money on shampoo haha.
 
C

Chey60

Guest
#20
#20
I have to amend this post by saying....that this is mostly in grocery stores or other public places.. (no clubs of course, don't do them..) at my church even IF the single guys noticed me I have NO clue about that. I sing on the platform two services and don't really scan the room , that would be awkward for sure.... when I am finished I go somewhere up front behind our pastor and his wife.. (mainly to hear her little responses to his preaching which is pure comedy club)
my GREAT friend Teresa (who loves me so much and is trying so hard to find that man :) lol) says I am unavailable because I am so focused.. I have my head in my tablet when I sit down , posting the sermons.. (I post sermon notes on facebook for my family in california as I am in texas :) .. my pastor is a gifted preacher:) I told her however, I am not at church to meet men.. she just says.. well where else will you meet them? :) ...walmart??
anyway.. I am a very silly girl and I have a "yes" face (meaning I am approachable) but I guess no one knows this...I don't know one single man at my church of 2 years ..
and then I have this turn away issue :) LOL

anyway... this thread has been sooo insightful.. makes me not feel like some huge awkward dumb person :)
 
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