An old ED&DFC Song

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I was talking with some friends about loveless marriages today, both those who have been married to the same person for an extended period of time and those who have been through divorces and remarried, to see what they thought about it. Some of them had married very youth because they thought it was the thing to do..everyone else was doing it. Some got married due to a pregnancy. Some married the first person who asked. Some thought they had loved the person, but later found it was only infatuation. Some actually married the person they loved and were still very happily married. Some were Christians, some were not.

However, several of those who were Christians and non-Christians indicated that they married someone they did not love the first time and were far happier now. I asked them whether they thought this might be the cause of many divorces and infidelities and, after some thought, they indicated that they did.

We all know that in a perfect world Christians never divorce or commit adultery, but in reality the divorce stats of Christians are no better than those of non-Christians. I'm wondering if this, along with marrying because you "don't want to burn with lust" is a reason for many Christian divorces.

In the course of the discussions, someone brought up this song:
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKWja2qDpRM[/video]
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#2
#2
P.S. - that should be ED&JFC

and "young", not youth :)

I bumped something and it created the thread before I was finished editing...I'll probably find more. Grrrrr server...
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#3
Aug 2, 2009
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I love that song!! :)

I think serious christians would actually have a harder time staying married than secular couples would, but that's just my humble opinion. ;)
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#4
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
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zeroturbulence said:
I love that song!! :)

I think serious christians would actually have a harder time staying married than secular couples would, but that's just my humble opinion. ;)
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Really? Somebody forgot to put me in the statistics. This year will be 29 for me! And , by the way, it's not hard at all, when the Lord is in charge! That's my story, & I'm stickin' to it! ;)
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#5
#5
zeroturbulence said:
I think serious christians would actually have a harder time staying married than secular couples would, but that's just my humble opinion. ;)
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I think this shouldn't be, especially if you say ''serious'' Christians. I've seen a lot of Christian couples at church who have been married for along time. This is the humble opinion of a 20-year old who has never been in a relationship. :)
 
dliz

dliz

Filipino Room/Forum Moderator
#6
Jun 13, 2012
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oh my goodness! hahaha. my mom keeps on quoting this to me every now and then. hehe! :)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#7
#7
What would you do when you belong to someone else and the right one comes along??

That's an interesting/good song Jullianna, which made me ask myself the question above.

As a christian how would you handle that situation?
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#8
Aug 2, 2009
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#8
Ok folks, I have here the comprehensive results of a 2008 study involving nearly 3,800 Americans adults which shows the divorce rates of Christians and atheists/agnostics.

NOTE: If you don't include Evangelical Christians (I believe this is the Joel Osteen/Joyce Meyer crowd, and there were only 339 who participated here) and Catholics (lowest divorce rate in the bunch, yay!), the divorce rate of atheists/agnostics is lower than all other Christian groups.

Source: http://www.barna.org/barna-update/a...-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released



Note the areas highlighted in yellow and red...
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#9
#9
The song makes me more determined never to rush into relationships and to never marry for any other reason than needing to be with that person for the rest of my life, and vice versa. The vice versa part is the part I really want to take my time with. I have control over my decisions, but not over theirs, you know?

Nod, it would be incredibly sad to find oneself in such a position, wouldn't it? Not only for them and the person they loved, but the unloved "Leah" unknowingly and unwillingly standing between them. That person is being robbed.

It's so important to follow Christ's leading regarding relationships in our lives before and after marriage. It is important to guard our eyes and hearts as singles, but even more AFTER we marry. There are so many temptations in the world and that old devouring lion loves to see marriages torn apart.

When I was married I saw fidelity much like Peter walking on the water. I put my focus on the Lord and the blessings He gave me...my husband and my son....treasures....knowing full well that if I ever began to focus on the waves that were competing for my attention, I would sink and lose them both.

I really hope a lot of singles give all of this a great deal of thought. So many people never do and fail to realize the impact bad decisions have upon not only themselves, but generations to come.

Pastor Steve, congrats to you and your bride. :)
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#10
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#10
Jullianna said:
The song makes me more determined never to rush into relationships and to never marry for any other reason than needing to be with that person for the rest of my life, and vice versa. The vice versa part is the part I really want to take my time with. I have control over my decisions, but not over theirs, you know?

Nod, it would be incredibly sad to find oneself in such a position, wouldn't it? Not only for them and the person they loved, but the unloved "Leah" unknowingly and unwillingly standing between them. That person is being robbed.

It's so important to follow Christ's leading regarding relationships in our lives before and after marriage. It is important to guard our eyes and hearts as singles, but even more AFTER we marry. There are so many temptations in the world and that old devouring lion loves to see marriages torn apart.

When I was married I saw fidelity much like Peter walking on the water. I put my focus on the Lord and the blessings He gave me...my husband and my son....treasures....knowing full well that if I ever began to focus on the waves that were competing for my attention, I would sink and lose them both.

I really hope a lot of singles give all of this a great deal of thought. So many people never do and fail to realize the impact bad decisions have upon not only themselves, but generations to come.

Pastor Steve, congrats to you and your bride. :)
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Eat that Volvo Settlers :p
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#11
Aug 2, 2011
601
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#11
zeroturbulence said:
Ok folks, I have here the comprehensive results of a 2008 study involving nearly 3,800 Americans adults which shows the divorce rates of Christians and atheists/agnostics.

NOTE: If you don't include Evangelical Christians (I believe this is the Joel Osteen/Joyce Meyer crowd, and there were only 339 who participated here) and Catholics (lowest divorce rate in the bunch, yay!), the divorce rate of atheists/agnostics is lower than all other Christian groups.

Source: The Barna Group - New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released



Note the areas highlighted in yellow and red...
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I know the Barna group does a lot of great studies, but I wonder how they decide to differentiate between a "born-again Christian" and a "non born-again Christian".

And Zero, an Evangelical Christian by definition is a Christian who gets 100% of their doctrine from the Bible (as opposed to Catholics and other groups who get some of their doctrine from church tradition). It's not just prosperity gospel Christians. I for one am an Evangelical born-again Christian and I'm proud to be part of that lowest divorce category, although it's sad that the percentage isn't even lower.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#12
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#12
AAAPlus said:
I know the Barna group does a lot of great studies, but I wonder how they decide to differentiate between a "born-again Christian" and a "non born-again Christian".

And Zero, an Evangelical Christian by definition is a Christian who gets 100% of their doctrine from the Bible (as opposed to Catholics and other groups who get some of their doctrine from church tradition). It's not just prosperity gospel Christians. I for one am an Evangelical born-again Christian and I'm proud to be part of that lowest divorce category, although it's sad that the percentage isn't even lower.
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So you're saying protestants and non-denominational christians follow more than just the bible? That doesn't sound right to me.

I'm pretty sure evangelical christians are simply those who are followers of evangelists.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
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post continued...

..That's why they have separate categories for "Non-Evangelical Born-again Christians" and Protestants. The Non-Evangelical born-agains are probably the non-denominationals. Protestants are actually by definition Evangelical, but they are in a separate category here so that must mean the "Evangelical Christians" category are those who follow an evangelist.

So if you are actually a protestant according to those categories listed, then you are actually in the 34% divorce rate group.
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#14
Aug 2, 2009
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A quote from the study's website...

"In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively."
 
AAAPlus

AAAPlus

Senior Member
#15
Aug 2, 2011
601
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#15
zeroturbulence said:
post continued...

..That's why they have separate categories for "Non-Evangelical Born-again Christians" and Protestants. The Non-Evangelical born-agains are probably the non-denominationals. Protestants are actually by definition Evangelical, but they are in a separate category here so that must mean the "Evangelical Christians" category are those who follow an evangelist.

So if you are actually a protestant according to those categories listed, then you are actually in the 34% divorce rate group.
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Sir, if you looked a bit more closely at that screenshot you'd see that "Protestant" is in a completely different classification as "Evangelicals". Being Evangelical has nothing to do with following an evangelist, it's exactly what I said before; getting all your doctrine from the Bible.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
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Ok, I guess you are more correct than I am. Here is the exact definition that was given for the survey (directly quoted from the study's website):

"Evangelicals" meet the born again criteria (described above) plus seven other conditions. Those include saying their faith is very important in their life today; believing they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs about Christ with non-Christians; believing that Satan exists; believing that eternal salvation is possible only through grace, not works; believing that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth; asserting that the Bible is accurate in all that it teaches; and describing God as the all-knowing, all-powerful, perfect deity who created the universe and still rules it today. Being classified as an evangelical is not dependent upon church attendance or the denominational affiliation of the church attended. Respondents were not asked to describe themselves as "evangelical."
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#17
#17
zeroturbulence said:
Ok folks, I have here the comprehensive results of a 2008 study involving nearly 3,800 Americans adults which shows the divorce rates of Christians and atheists/agnostics.

NOTE: If you don't include Evangelical Christians (I believe this is the Joel Osteen/Joyce Meyer crowd, and there were only 339 who participated here) and Catholics (lowest divorce rate in the bunch, yay!), the divorce rate of atheists/agnostics is lower than all other Christian groups.

Source: The Barna Group - New Marriage and Divorce Statistics Released



Note the areas highlighted in yellow and red...
Click to expand...

Not saying that I don't believe in statistics, but when it comes to determining who is not and who is a born-again Christian, I don't trust 'em. How did these people know those interviewed were saying the truth?:confused: I'm sure a lot of non-Christians consider themselves Christian. So I still think genuine born-again Christians have a lower divorce rate :). Not saying there aren't occasions when Christians get a divorce...but I think that when BOTH are Christian...it doesn't happen a lot.

Oh and I would like to add that not only because a couple doesn't get a divorce, it necessarily means they are happily married. Mexicans don't get divorces as much as Americans do, but I have known of many cases where the spouse was cheating or being abusive. So....don't judge a book by the lenght of its marriage :p.
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#18
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#18
Anyway, my original point still stands, which is that christians have a harder time staying married than secular folks (according to the survey results).
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#19
Aug 2, 2009
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#19
kayem77 said:
Not saying that I don't believe in statistics, but when it comes to determining who is not and who is a born-again Christian, I don't trust 'em. How did these people know those interviewed were saying the truth?:confused: I'm sure a lot of non-Christians consider themselves Christian. So I still think genuine born-again Christians have a lower divorce rate :). Not saying there aren't occasions when Christians get a divorce...but I think that when BOTH are Christian...it doesn't happen a lot.

Oh and I would like to add that not only because a couple doesn't get a divorce, it necessarily means they are happily married. Mexicans don't get divorces as much as Americans do, but I have known of many cases where the spouse was cheating or being abusive. So....don't judge a book by the lenght of its marriage :p.
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Here is a direct quote from the study which explains how they determined those who were in the born again category:

"Born again Christians" are defined as people who said they have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today and who also indicated they believe that when they die they will go to Heaven because they had confessed their sins and had accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. Respondents are not asked to describe themselves as "born again."
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#20
#20
zeroturbulence said:
Here is a direct quote from the study which explains how they determined those who were in the born again category:

"Born again Christians" are defined as people who said they have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that is still important in their life today and who also indicated they believe that when they die they will go to Heaven because they had confessed their sins and had accepted Jesus Christ as their savior. Respondents are not asked to describe themselves as "born again."
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Maybe that narrows it down a bit more, but I still think it's hard to know if they aren't lying. But it's confusing since they also make a distinction between born-again Christians and other Christians, that's like saying Christians and fake Christians(who then, I suppose, aren't Christians) . Anyways...not to make it more confusing :) I believe that someone who really takes marriage as seriously as God does, wouldn't consider getting divorced so easily. Taking marriage seriously is a direct result of taking God seriously, in my opinion.
 
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