Asking out spiritually stronger women

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KnightdeKhristos

Guest
#1
#1
Since Christian women want men who are spiritual leaders,should a Christian man ask a Christian woman on a date if the woman is spiritually stronger? For example, if I have a crush on a Christian girl, but she's on a "higher" spiritual level than I (and we are both aware of it), should I even bother asking her out?
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#2
Mar 14, 2010
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#2
KnightdeKhristos said:
Since Christian women want men who are spiritual leaders,should a Christian man ask a Christian woman on a date if the woman is spiritually stronger? For example, if I have a crush on a Christian girl, but she's on a "higher" spiritual level than I (and we are both aware of it), should I even bother asking her out?
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I know this answer probably sounds strange and might not even sounds like it applies to the question but please think on it

That depends on her standards. From what I can tell, your best bet is to get to know her and you'll probably be able to tell eventually.

I know my mom and dad want me to have someone who loves Jesus just as much if not more than me and be able to lead me.

Be able, and be ready to lead. That's all I can really say. Results will vary.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffBG7JAvBiw[/video]
 
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Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
#3
Jul 25, 2012
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There are spiritual levels...? o_O *flips through the Bible*​
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#4
Feb 3, 2010
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#4
KnightdeKhristos said:
Since Christian women want men who are spiritual leaders,should a Christian man ask a Christian woman on a date if the woman is spiritually stronger? For example, if I have a crush on a Christian girl, but she's on a "higher" spiritual level than I (and we are both aware of it), should I even bother asking her out?
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What is it that sets her on this higher level?
 
P

Precious_Sunflower

Guest
#5
#5
This truly depends a lot, as God can also lead a woman having a much stronger faith than her going to become husband. If God would bring a woman into your life that would seem as having "stronger faith" than you have yourself, He might use her to being your greatest support as well as help building you up with the parts where you are weaker Spiritually. We all will have our weaker parts in life, there might be parts in her's where you will be used to building as well as helping her becoming stronger too.

I do not think you should worry too much about this part, as if she is truly a woman of God's heart, she will also know and understand that she is supposed to being submissive to her husband, and to let him be the head of their family. She can still be a wise woman of God, and help you seeing things in a different light than how you see it. Yet this doesn't means that she will get much more control over you nor respecting you less than how she normally ought to as a wife. What I mean is that God uses both the husband and the wife to being there for each others, as well as to help and support each other as a married couple should.

Whether she at the time you meet her seemes as to being much stronger Spiritually than you appear during that time, doesn't mean that God cannot have a great purpose in mind for the two of you, as if you are truly brought together by God, then you should most trust that meeting this woman is a blessing from God as well as there is a great purpose behind this all, and will be of great growth for the both of you.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#6
#6
I love that song, lil_christian :)

I know from experience that it can be an issue if the woman is more spiritually mature. That's what I was referring to in another thread when I talked about realizing over time that I might always have to be the strong one...not the sort of relationship I want. It may not be something you understand in the beginning of a relationship though.

It's not about her being higher or holier in any way at all...simply a matter of maturity of the Spirit. Age has nothing to do with that btw. :)
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#7
#7
KnightdeKhristos said:
Since Christian women want men who are spiritual leaders,should a Christian man ask a Christian woman on a date if the woman is spiritually stronger? For example, if I have a crush on a Christian girl, but she's on a "higher" spiritual level than I (and we are both aware of it), should I even bother asking her out?
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DOOOOOOOO it!
 
K

KnightdeKhristos

Guest
#8
#8
Liamson said:
What is it that sets her on this higher level?
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I should have said "spiritually mature" instead. I guess you could say when she's more mature in the faith.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#9
Feb 3, 2010
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#9
Is she just more Mature in General or just Spiritually more Mature?

Cause... If its just that she seems to have an enviable relationship with God, then I don't think its a big issue. Having someone who takes their faith seriously is important.

Then again, if you find that you do not add to her ministry, she may not want you involved in her life.

When Two Mature Christians size each other up to find out if its going to work they have to consider that their Passion for God might pull them in different directions. If you are willing to Support and protect her, Financially, Spiritually, Physically and Emotionally, then its almost better that your not as Mature as she is.


Think of it this way. If you are a Sports fan and you want to find a woman who is a sports fan too. Both of you being really Passionate about it can lead to it being a Rivalry within your home. Which since its sports isn't that big of a deal that she has her Jerseys and team and I have mine. When it comes to Faith, if she takes it really seriously and you do to, you might find yourself having Passionate heated arguments about things that most Christians never think about.

If she is as Mature a Christian as you say she is, she may not retreat from a position that you disagree with her on.


I would say go for it. Be a Gentleman, be honest and don't feel intimidated by what you see in her. :)
 
Ritter

Ritter

Banned
#10
Jul 25, 2005
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#10
That's a mistake. Before you ask a woman out, always apply the first letter of TULIP. :p
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#11
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#11
Ritter said:
That's a mistake. Before you ask a woman out, always apply the first letter of TULIP. :p
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Total Depravity?

Well, if you wind up in a TULIP vs PETAL debate, that might be your sign that its not going to work. :D

Besides, if she is a Calvinist, she probably thinks your destined for hell anyways. :p
 
S

Stuey

Senior Member
#12
Aug 17, 2009
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#12
Good thread.

I feel like most girls are more spiritually mature than guys their own age.

At the same time... I feel sometimes like within a church everyone can be judging each other on this and being like, oooh this person is way too holy for me, or na you're too ungodly for me, which, I don't know, it really irks me and feels wrong in light of Grace. As anything good in us is a result of God's grace.

Having said this I feel there is some wisdom

I wonder if it could be more about direction? Like the major direction of their life. I feel like a spiritually 'less mature' guy can lead a girl who is more mature. Yet I feel like if he is one of these Christians who have been a christian for 10 years (probs over 21 btw) and is still a bit flaky, focussed on material things somewhat, this wouldn't work?
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#13
Ok I feel like I'm the only one here who doesn't know what 'spiritual maturity' is. Can someone please explain it?
 
1

1still_waters

Guest
#14
#14
KnightdeKhristos said:
Since Christian women want men who are spiritual leaders,should a Christian man ask a Christian woman on a date if the woman is spiritually stronger? For example, if I have a crush on a Christian girl, but she's on a "higher" spiritual level than I (and we are both aware of it), should I even bother asking her out?
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The plumb line in the Christian community that determines "spiritual" level is so muddied.

Does it mean someone who wakes at 4am and prays until 6am? Is it someone who raises their hands in worship? Or maybe someone who says glooooorayyyyy LORD in loud repeated repetition when they pray? Could it possibly be someone who reads ten chapters of Bible a day and never watches tv?

I don't know if you can really quantify this into "levels" of spirituality.

A Biblical marker for a "level" of spirituality is if someone can tell the difference between good and evil.

Hebrews 5
13 Now everyone who lives on milk is inexperienced with the message about righteousness, because he is an infant. 14 But solid food is for the mature—for those whose senses have been trained to distinguish between good and evil.
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Another measure is good deeds.
James 3
13 Who is wise and has understanding among you? He should show his works by good conduct with wisdom’s gentleness. 14 But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. 15 Such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.
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So what am I getting at?

Don't get caught up in false presuppositions about what makes someone at a higher level than someone else.

Instead measure things like, do they know the difference between good and evil. Do they have good conduct?

Those are better measures than the superfluous connotations so many have attached to wrong understandings of what is truly a "high spiritual level".
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#15
#15
Part two.

So basically, if you're meeting a woman who knows how to, distinguish good and evil better than you, and who does more good deeds than you - your first question shouldn't be, "Can I date her?"

Your first question should be, "Oh my goodness, how do I learn to distinguish good from evil better? How do I learn to grow in good deeds?"
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#16
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#16
But how would one know if someone else distinguishes good and evil better than themselves? That doesn't make much sense, unless one of them has the mentality of a 12 year old (no offense, 12 yr olds).

And what is the solid food that Paul(?) was talking about?
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#17
#17
zeroturbulence said:
But how would one know if someone else distinguishes good and evil better than themselves? That doesn't make much sense, unless one of them has the mentality of a 12 year old (no offense, 12 yr olds).

?
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Well, if it is not possible for a less mature person to tell if someone is more mature, then the entire basis for this thread is a moot point.
 
P

Precious_Sunflower

Guest
#18
#18
zeroturbulence said:
Ok I feel like I'm the only one here who doesn't know what 'spiritual maturity' is. Can someone please explain it?
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The way I also see Spiritual Maturity is when you have a very close relationship with Jesus, this way you will keep on growing closer to Him also through taking more time studying His Word as well as living His Word through your daily life, and also to becoming more the way Jesus is. :)

Those who do have a close relationship to Christ Jesus, will also be having much more peace of mind. And they do not feel a need for bragging about it nor having to very loud when at church, e.t.c... As how it seemes a lot of modern Christians are like or think of it as when being what they think of as "radical beleivers". Most true beleivers also from earlier times were much more humble by heart as well as more servant oriented.

With being servant oriented I mean as wanting to serve others more than their own selves, something I feel as many beleivers are more focused about getting more and more for themselves rather than focusing more on what to give or how to building up another brother or sister in Christ Jesus.

Some of my thoughts, only ;) :)
 
F

flight316

Guest
#19
#19
If you like her, ask her out. What do you have to lose? Its not like you're asking her to marry you. Do you have to be so spiritually mature to have something to eat together. Hey, maybe she's waiting for you to be mature enough to ask her out. And you know what else? You'll never know the answer to your question until you try and have the experiance. Good luck young man and I admire you for seeking out a christian woman. That's very wise of you. I wish that I would have been as wise as you when I was your age.
 
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1still_waters

Guest
#20
#20
zeroturbulence said:
But how would one know if someone else distinguishes good and evil better than themselves? That doesn't make much sense, unless one of them has the mentality of a 12 year old (no offense, 12 yr olds).

And what is the solid food that Paul(?) was talking about?
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Hebrews 6 gives what are considered the foundational, elementary things.
6 Therefore, leaving the elementary message about the Messiah, let us go on to maturity, not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, faith in God, 2 teaching about ritual washings,[a] laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. 3 And we will do this if God permits.
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The meat is tied to knowing good from evil. So the meat is any teaching that aims at distinguishing good from evil.

Heb 5
13 Now everyone who lives on milk is inexperienced with the message about righteousness, because he is an infant. 14 But solid food is for the mature—for those whose senses have been trained to distinguish between good and evil.
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Heb 12
7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
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