Cheer up m8 oneliners

[coby2]

........

 

[coby2]

.......

 

[Stephen63]

You know you're dumb when you go to the pet store to buy bird seed & ask how long it takes for the birds to grow.

 

[GaryA]

If at first you don't succeed, don't take up skydiving

The way I have always heard it:

"If at first you don't succeed -- so much for skydiving!"

 

[Lynx]

If you love something, let it go. Unless it's a balloon...

 

[Lynx]

My exercise program is having a lot of stairs in my house and always forgetting things.

 

[Lynx]

Know why I went off on a tangent? Cos.

(This is a math joke. Nerds will get it. Everyone else move along, nothing to see here.)

 

[Lynx]

If you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.

 

[Lynx]

I know I'm never going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root . . . . and still be afraid of a spider.

 

[Lynx]

It is truly easier to forgive your enemies than figure out how to limit their access to your Facebook page.

 

[Lynx]

Avoid pawn shops. You'll just get rooked.

 

[Lynx]

The cool part about naming your kid is you don't have to add 6 numbers to make sure the name is available.

 

[coby2]

.......

 

[jennymae]

I know I'm never going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root . . . . and still be afraid of a spider.

Spiders are gross, that's why

 

[coby2]

.........

 

[zeroturbulence]

View attachment 147499
.........

LOL I have a headache and laughing at that made it worse lol.

 

[Lynx]

Can atheists get insurance for acts-of-God?

 

[Lynx]

I just bought a universal remote. This. Changes. EVERYTHING!

 

[tourist]

I just bought a universal remote. This. Changes. EVERYTHING!

Depends on the number of channels.

 

[Lynx]

It's taken me hours, but I finally put together this IKEA joke.