Girls Must Be Crazy (At Times)

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Aug 29, 2012
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#1
My old high school is several hours hard driving from where I am right now. So, I took myself to a late lunch to celebrate surviving my hospital visit this morning. Had to be my favorite, Mexican food.

So I walk in adn whom do I see but a girl from my old hometown! What are the odds?!? So we visited, nothing personal - she is four years younger than me and I went to school with her brother. I also know her mother well and her late father. So, that makes us "cousins", I guess.

As I was leaving she asked me how xyz was doing. Now you have to understand that xyz, from my perspective, as a guy, is the most disgusting thing with a zipper. There is literally no drug he has never taken, sold or manufactured. There is no disease he has not brought on himself - and most of them are not exactly curable. His police record is legend in the valley. And something in her voice made me look up.

There it was, the smitten kitten look. OMG..... A beautiful 21 year old Christian (Catholic) woman has a thing for xyz? But not so much that she would ever talk to him, she is a worse introvert than myself! And mama would never approve. As I walked back to my hotel, I was reeling this through my mind. I think most guys would faint if someone with those looks, education and $$$$$ expressed that much interest in them.

So what it is with smooth talking dirt bags that gets the female attention? And I have to admit almost all of the females I know have had visions of their own set on xyz's or actually committed themselves, however briefly. :(

No I have no desires for this young woman, I am just stupefied by this startling revelation....

So, girls - what draws your attention from a candidate pool whom would be safe, to a candidate whom will most certainly attempt to destroy you?
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#2
Was just talking with some folks about this yesterday. Sometimes a guy will catch you at a point in your life when you are depressed, bored, down on yourself...maybe even curious when you are that young... He gets your attention, recognizes your vulnerabilities, knows allllll the right things to say and makes you laugh. You need that. They are extremely persistent. And then the moment comes when their true colors begin to show. It's a blessing when you can escape undamaged, but many don't.

Maybe there are women who do this to guys out there too...are there?
 
Aug 29, 2012
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#3
I heard tell of a predatory female here in Colorado. She was a legend at finding men to do her bidding. Roof needs repaired, hit on a roofer. Need new plumbing? No problem. Want a new house, no problem. She is a legend as I said. I met her at a party in Denver when I was 21 and she was working on a guy to get an abandoned building he had. It was amazing to witness, like some horrible Italian movie.

Of course, I have nothing, so was valueless to her. :)
 
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Jomaty

Guest
#4
I can't seem to find the answer to that question either. Girls, in my town at least, want 'bad boys' who are 'cool', but in the long run they end up getting hurt by that guy. And then there are the good guys who sit there and witness, most of the time I feel like I am just a shoulder to cry on, after they get hurt by those guys. Then they just keep going back to either the same guy, or someone who is that exact same way, and they know it
 
L

libertygirl

Guest
#5
Maybe she thinks he's attractive? Women seem to fall for attractive men even if the guy doesn't treat her well. Sometimes it's the fact that a guy is finally showing interest in her. These type of men know how to pick up women easily and "pursue." So to the women, it's like finally somebody likes me and he's cute. Anyway, I avoid those types of men. Bah. I want the prize, not the yucky zipper man.
 
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violakat

Guest
#6
What I've seen is that a lot of girls want to fix the bad boy. They seem to think they can change them and make them desire to do good, when in reality, the boy tends to lead the girl off on dangerous paths.
 
V

violakat

Guest
#7
This post made me think of this excerpt from the poem by Sara Kay "If I should have a daughter"

"And “Baby,” I’ll tell her “don’t keep your nose up in the air like that, I know that trick, you’re just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else, find the boy who lit the fire in the first place to see if you can change him."
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#10
OK... am I the only one in here who is wondering what a zipper has to do with it???
 

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
Jan 15, 2011
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#12
XYZ? Someone care to explain?
XYZ is a stand in for the guy's actual name.
Don't feel bad Tom. I had to read it a couple of times because when I was younger it was common to tell a guy to XYZ (eXamine Your Zipper). It just didn't fit in the context. Yes, I felt stupid when I figured it out.
 

gideon007

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2012
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#13
just want to share this story

well, i have this college classmate [a girl], she fell in love with a guy [a schoolmate of ours] who is, let just say, no direction in life. This guy is very aggressive if you know what i mean and for that he got a disease. and what in the world that no matter how many times we warned her about his guy she still insist on making a relationship with him... (because of this thing she called "LOVE".*sigh*)

to make the story short, they got into a relationship [gf-bf] and i can say they really aren't happy

there was this time when the guy punched her 3 or 4 times in the upper abdomen with his left hand while his right hand grasping the neck of the girl , while me, desperately grabbing the guy away. When it was done

i asked the girl, *** are you ok, do you need something....etc... guess what she replied? i am fine i can take his punches and it does not hurt [i know it did hurt, she's a martyr] :confused:

one thing also...everytime i share about God and Jesus..and she's there.,she always makes fun with it..
 
Jul 25, 2012
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#14
just want to share this story

well, i have this college classmate [a girl], she fell in love with a guy [a schoolmate of ours] who is, let just say, no direction in life. This guy is very aggressive if you know what i mean and for that he got a disease. and what in the world that no matter how many times we warned her about his guy she still insist on making a relationship with him... (because of this thing she called "LOVE".*sigh*)

to make the story short, they got into a relationship [gf-bf] and i can say they really aren't happy

there was this time when the guy punched her 3 or 4 times in the upper abdomen with his left hand while his right hand grasping the neck of the girl , while me, desperately grabbing the guy away. When it was done

i asked the girl, *** are you ok, do you need something....etc... guess what she replied? i am fine i can take his punches and it does not hurt [i know it did hurt, she's a martyr] :confused:

one thing also...everytime i share about God and Jesus..and she's there.,she always makes fun with it..

If I wasn't so small and weak I'd beat this guy with a foam bat.
 

gideon007

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2012
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#15
If I wasn't so small and weak I'd beat this guy with a foam bat.
lol. i'll support you on that ... just so you know his height is 5'9" but he has a lean body [actually thin, he's a sickly person] so i think a foam bat is enough :eek:...hahaha
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
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#16
Some girls are actually attracted to the 'bad boy' type. This was the case with my daughter a few years ago. She said to me when she was 15 or so, 'Mom, Christian boys are boring'. Great...WHERE did she get that from!? Her dad and I knew from this that her common sense was sadly lacking. She finally wised up some, I think.

I also wonder if some girls have a 'savior' complex where they see this guy as a challenge and think they can turn him into a good guy. Something like an ego trip.... using her femininity to control a male and change him.

I remember as a teenager getting fixated on some guy at school and building up strange fantasies about him...not sexual....just very unrealistic in terms of what a wonderful person he must be. Weird.

At least with these girls, it's pretty obvious to Christian males that it's best to leave them be. That's what I tried to tell my daughter :(
 

Nautilus

Senior Member
Jun 29, 2012
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#17
being a ncie guy and playing the best friend role hoping to get your foot in the door isnt going to work either though. the problem with most guys who complain about 'bad guys' is that they themselves end up being pushovers. THey are there for the girl when stuff goes bad and are there to listen and let the girl cry on their shoulder...your basically another girlfriend just with a Y chromosome. Stand up dont let yourself get into that type of position. If a girl doesnt want to date you stop hanging around and wasting your time.
 
Jul 25, 2012
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#18
being a ncie guy and playing the best friend role hoping to get your foot in the door isnt going to work either though. the problem with most guys who complain about 'bad guys' is that they themselves end up being pushovers. THey are there for the girl when stuff goes bad and are there to listen and let the girl cry on their shoulder...your basically another girlfriend just with a Y chromosome. Stand up dont let yourself get into that type of position. If a girl doesnt want to date you stop hanging around and wasting your time.
This is the greatest advice. EVER. *man swoons*
 
S

Smudge

Guest
#19
I think that part of it is that we like to believe that a guy doesn't really know what love is until they get to know us. We like to think a guy that doesn't care about anything will suddenly care because you're the one. We like to feel like we're treasured but not objectified. Usually we like to think that tall dark and handsome with a "tortured past" is the one to provide the above.

I think a reason why girls stick around is because they get it in their heads that the abuse is all they're worth, or they're too scared to get out of it. The abuser can really "brain wash" girls, making them think that they are better off with them and their abuse than without. Some women literally think the guy will kill them if they even talk about how bad their relationship is, while others blame themselves for "making" the guy hit them.

A friend of mine went into an abusive relationship because she was the first girl out of many, many girls who actually stuck around long enough for the guy to get a clue of what a long term relationship looked like. So she's his first "love." And I hate every bit of their "relationship."

He's literally not welcomed at my house, if he shows up I'm calling the police.


Also- girls- A guy hitting you is NOT OK. A real, honest to God, man would sooner break his hand hitting an inanimate object than hit you. I know this because I actually was raised with Godly parents.

There is literally NOTHING that justifies it, nothing you say or do should cause him to lay a finger against you. Ever. And if he hits you once- he's going to end up hitting you again.

Guys- be aware that you can be physically and mentally abused by your girlfriend so you be careful too.
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#20
just want to share this story

well, i have this college classmate [a girl], she fell in love with a guy [a schoolmate of ours] who is, let just say, no direction in life. This guy is very aggressive if you know what i mean and for that he got a disease. and what in the world that no matter how many times we warned her about his guy she still insist on making a relationship with him... (because of this thing she called "LOVE".*sigh*)

to make the story short, they got into a relationship [gf-bf] and i can say they really aren't happy

there was this time when the guy punched her 3 or 4 times in the upper abdomen with his left hand while his right hand grasping the neck of the girl , while me, desperately grabbing the guy away. When it was done

i asked the girl, *** are you ok, do you need something....etc... guess what she replied? i am fine i can take his punches and it does not hurt [i know it did hurt, she's a martyr] :confused:

one thing also...everytime i share about God and Jesus..and she's there.,she always makes fun with it..
He is broken. She is broken. Terrible thing to watch, huh? :( Thank you for being there for her. Don't give up.