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Howdy, Stranger! (Ha.)
This thread has me thinking of all my past rejections and I'm arriving at the conclusion that there are just too many to list, but here are a few:
* The guy I asked to a school dance who told me he couldn't go because he was working; but when MY FRIEND asked him, he suddenly didn't have to work, and wound up going with her.
* Another guy I asked to yet another school dance and he told me no... but when the blond, blue-eyed sister of one of the rmost popular girls in school asked him, he said yes.
(Are y'all noticing a trend here? I guess it's pretty obvious--I can't dance and all of those guys must have known it.
)
The worst was still on the way, though, which was the day I stood in court and had to hear my once-husband tell everyone publicly that he was leaving me. The judge asked him why, and he stammered with a reason, saying he couldn't talk to me anymore, and I think... that he was trying to tell them that he didn't love me anymore... But to be honest, I was trying to mentally project myself elsewhere because I couldn't bear to hear it, especially in front of an audience. After all, there's no better feeling than having your spouse tell the whole world that he is rejecting you.
As most people here know, I am adopted, so the toughest thing for me was trying to wrap my head around the thought of having both my birth parents and then my husband reject me, and without giving me any solid reasons. I mean, I would say that these are pretty crucial people in one's life, and when you aren't given a reason as to why someone (especially that important) can't love you, you start to make up the reasons in your own head.
I still do that to this day. As much as I might want someone to like me, there is a part of me that still thinks, "Oh no. You can't possibly feel anything for me. Just ask my parents and my ex-husband..." And you start to go through your list of about 3,000 reasons you've come up with that these people must have not been able to love you, and why anyone else won't be able to, either.
I'm sorry I can't pretty it up, but I'm fairly certain that death would hurt a lot less than that kind of rejection. To be honest, I try to block it out.
And I guess in time, life seems to distract you with other things, and, mercifully, you find that you don't think about it nearly as much as you used to.
This thread has me thinking of all my past rejections and I'm arriving at the conclusion that there are just too many to list, but here are a few:
* The guy I asked to a school dance who told me he couldn't go because he was working; but when MY FRIEND asked him, he suddenly didn't have to work, and wound up going with her.
* Another guy I asked to yet another school dance and he told me no... but when the blond, blue-eyed sister of one of the rmost popular girls in school asked him, he said yes.
(Are y'all noticing a trend here? I guess it's pretty obvious--I can't dance and all of those guys must have known it.
)The worst was still on the way, though, which was the day I stood in court and had to hear my once-husband tell everyone publicly that he was leaving me. The judge asked him why, and he stammered with a reason, saying he couldn't talk to me anymore, and I think... that he was trying to tell them that he didn't love me anymore... But to be honest, I was trying to mentally project myself elsewhere because I couldn't bear to hear it, especially in front of an audience. After all, there's no better feeling than having your spouse tell the whole world that he is rejecting you.
As most people here know, I am adopted, so the toughest thing for me was trying to wrap my head around the thought of having both my birth parents and then my husband reject me, and without giving me any solid reasons. I mean, I would say that these are pretty crucial people in one's life, and when you aren't given a reason as to why someone (especially that important) can't love you, you start to make up the reasons in your own head.
I still do that to this day. As much as I might want someone to like me, there is a part of me that still thinks, "Oh no. You can't possibly feel anything for me. Just ask my parents and my ex-husband..." And you start to go through your list of about 3,000 reasons you've come up with that these people must have not been able to love you, and why anyone else won't be able to, either.
I'm sorry I can't pretty it up, but I'm fairly certain that death would hurt a lot less than that kind of rejection. To be honest, I try to block it out.
And I guess in time, life seems to distract you with other things, and, mercifully, you find that you don't think about it nearly as much as you used to.
I grew up with a really loving mother. She taught me to be strong without a man's (my father at the time) help. The one and only time I remember feeling rejected was when I started yearning for this father figure in my life and met my ex bf.
I said yes to him before he even asked me out. So, when he broke up with me, it hurt. LOL.
Lesson learned, just gotta learn to love yourself.
I said yes to him before he even asked me out. So, when he broke up with me, it hurt. LOL.
Lesson learned, just gotta learn to love yourself.
I should mention. This isn't easy at all. It will only make sense when we understand that Jesus loves us, unconditionally. That He loves us still, with all our weaknesses, imperfections, mistakes, etc. Knowing that He accepted me even when I couldn't accept myself - that I could never break His heart and I could never disappoint Him, was key to learning to love myself.
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seoulsearch, that was a very sad post. I have to admit I wasn't thinking of rejection that deep when I created this thread. But if it's worth anything to you, (it may not be but I'll say it anyway) you are somebody to me and I don't reject you. And I know there are plenty of people on this site who definitely don't reject you and care about you.
Stay strong and I will be praying for you.
Stay strong and I will be praying for you.
I've never asked anyone out, but I did have a crush on a friend once and he knew about it, but never said anything negative.... but also didn't say anything positive so I did the logical thing and ran from the friendship ( before I could get rejected) . I stayed gone for like a year (very stupid of me) (this was an online thing as well... he lives in South Africa ) Anywho... I came back and apologized for disappearing. ..he forgave me and we are friends to this day. Actually we talked today.
Stranger,
Thank you so much for this amazingly kind and thoughtful post.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drag down your thread--I guess I was just having a moment, lol. Please forgive me.
In all honesty, I guess I was trying to say that we all get rejected in some way, but God does help us through it.
I can say that while I still get scared of rejection just like anyone else, I guess that now I also think in the back of my mind, "Well, it can't possibly hurt any more than the times God has already carried me through in the past, so I know that somehow, it's going to be ok."
Long story short--the people here have already posted some good advice for you--if you meet a great girl, pray it up and why not take a chance?
And, no matter what happens, good or bad--we'll be here to listen to you, lift you up, and cheer you on. After all, we know exactly how it feels.
God bless you, and thank you so much again.
Thank you so much for this amazingly kind and thoughtful post.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to drag down your thread--I guess I was just having a moment, lol. Please forgive me.
In all honesty, I guess I was trying to say that we all get rejected in some way, but God does help us through it.
I can say that while I still get scared of rejection just like anyone else, I guess that now I also think in the back of my mind, "Well, it can't possibly hurt any more than the times God has already carried me through in the past, so I know that somehow, it's going to be ok."
Long story short--the people here have already posted some good advice for you--if you meet a great girl, pray it up and why not take a chance?
And, no matter what happens, good or bad--we'll be here to listen to you, lift you up, and cheer you on.
After all, we know exactly how it feels. God bless you, and thank you so much again.
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I find some kind of perspective on my own feeling of rejection when I listen to this. [video=youtube;UD_WRnaOmjc]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD_WRnaOmjc[/video]
And Seuolsearch. Dear sister. Thank you for sharing your story. Rejection and the fear of it is strong for many of us, and it takes time to heal. Let me tell you something, though. Your ex husband lost a great gem of a woman, and if he couldn't see that, you are better off without him.
And Seuolsearch. Dear sister. Thank you for sharing your story. Rejection and the fear of it is strong for many of us, and it takes time to heal. Let me tell you something, though. Your ex husband lost a great gem of a woman, and if he couldn't see that, you are better off without him.
yes,i had that experience , they talked to me very nicely and caring but finally they said they're not interested in me because i am lean, i don't know why they see outer appearance ?! if they get beautiful girl without love and characterless. is they live happy each other? no then why ? whats mistake ? i don't know ? its really hurting me . Lord please forgive them and show me who is never give-up on me. please pray for me guys.
, they talked to me very nicely and caring but finally they said they're not interested in me because i am lean, i don't know why they see outer appearance ?! if they get beautiful girl without love and characterless. is they live happy each other? no then why ? whats mistake ? i don't know ? its really hurting me . Lord please forgive them and show me who is never give-up on me. please pray for me guys.
L
yes,i had that experience , they talked to me very nicely and caring but finally they said they're not interested in me because i am lean, i don't know why they see outer appearance ?! if they get beautiful girl without love and characterless. is they live happy each other? no then why ? whats mistake ? i don't know ? its really hurting me . Lord please forgive them and show me who is never give-up on me. please pray for me guys.
, they talked to me very nicely and caring but finally they said they're not interested in me because i am lean, i don't know why they see outer appearance ?! if they get beautiful girl without love and characterless. is they live happy each other? no then why ? whats mistake ? i don't know ? its really hurting me . Lord please forgive them and show me who is never give-up on me. please pray for me guys.