How Long Have You Been Single? (The Brand-Spankin' New & Updated 2017 Version!)
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Re: How Long Have You Been Single? (The Brand-Spankin' New & Updated 2017 Version!)
Yep I'm one of the perpetually single, probably because it's difficult for a guy to distract me from the fascinating thoughts that are constantly running through my head, and because real life guys just don't seem to be as great as fictional guys. Might also have to do with my preference for being alone to dealing with people, finding a people I don't mind constantly dealing with is a bit of a tall order.
Yep I'm one of the perpetually single, probably because it's difficult for a guy to distract me from the fascinating thoughts that are constantly running through my head, and because real life guys just don't seem to be as great as fictional guys. Might also have to do with my preference for being alone to dealing with people, finding a people I don't mind constantly dealing with is a bit of a tall order.
Re: How Long Have You Been Single? (The Brand-Spankin' New & Updated 2017 Version!)
I've been single for almost 15 years (meaning, I haven't been in any relationships--it's been friends or first dates with no follow-ups) and I understand completely that singleness can be, as Tommy put it, a lonely hell that never seems to end.
Most especially, after you've been married, the endless black holes of nights that seem to last years instead of hours (and then you wake up one day and realize that multiple years of your life actually HAVE slipped by.)
I have to admit that for about 12 of those years, I was in my own place of desperation, wanting nothing more than to find "the one" and settle into married life again... But the past few years, God has really changed my heart, and now I feel more concerned about looking out for other singles than spending so much time trying to date.
It's why I post almost exclusively in the Singles forum--because I always hope we can build a community and camaraderie here to cheer each other along and keep each other company, even as we say hello and goodbye to so many people.
And, if I happen to bump into Mr. Right somewhere amidst all the commotion... I'll definitely keep an open mind.
I've been single for almost 15 years (meaning, I haven't been in any relationships--it's been friends or first dates with no follow-ups) and I understand completely that singleness can be, as Tommy put it, a lonely hell that never seems to end.
Most especially, after you've been married, the endless black holes of nights that seem to last years instead of hours (and then you wake up one day and realize that multiple years of your life actually HAVE slipped by.)
I have to admit that for about 12 of those years, I was in my own place of desperation, wanting nothing more than to find "the one" and settle into married life again... But the past few years, God has really changed my heart, and now I feel more concerned about looking out for other singles than spending so much time trying to date.
It's why I post almost exclusively in the Singles forum--because I always hope we can build a community and camaraderie here to cheer each other along and keep each other company, even as we say hello and goodbye to so many people.
And, if I happen to bump into Mr. Right somewhere amidst all the commotion... I'll definitely keep an open mind.
D
Re: How Long Have You Been Single? (The Brand-Spankin' New & Updated 2017 Version!)
Let's see...in practice I've been single my entire life.
Most of the time, I'm totally fine with it. Only on certain occasions do I feel like I'm missing out. But later on I realize that it's just a carrot and stick mentality, as if marriage is some grand prize that is out of reach. Then I realize it's just society telling you that. Marriage is no grand prize. To me, it's more of an alternate option for those who have no self-control (and that's all I wish to say about that).
What really helps during deep times of "missing out" is simply talking about it. I have found that I have way more confidence whenever I address the situation head-on, even if my reasons for wanting someone make no sense.
I'm not saying I'll never marry. I'm just saying I'd be shocked if I actually did.
Let's see...in practice I've been single my entire life.
Most of the time, I'm totally fine with it. Only on certain occasions do I feel like I'm missing out. But later on I realize that it's just a carrot and stick mentality, as if marriage is some grand prize that is out of reach. Then I realize it's just society telling you that. Marriage is no grand prize. To me, it's more of an alternate option for those who have no self-control (and that's all I wish to say about that).
What really helps during deep times of "missing out" is simply talking about it. I have found that I have way more confidence whenever I address the situation head-on, even if my reasons for wanting someone make no sense.
I'm not saying I'll never marry. I'm just saying I'd be shocked if I actually did.
Re: How Long Have You Been Single? (The Brand-Spankin' New & Updated 2017 Version!)
This is one of the reasons why I'm always interested in how people define what "single" is.
Some people define single as not being married.
So if their date at the party happens to walk into the next room and isn't right there at the time... They'll tell the person they're talking to that they're single--and give off the impression that they're also available.
Or maybe a person has met someone online and spend vast amounts of time on the phone or online with someone for the past 2 months... And one person might think they're in a relationship--but the other person, upon meeting someone else, insists, "I'm single."
One of the toughest things I've encountered in the modern dating world is trying to find out if the person you're interested in talking to is actually single and available to date in the first place.
I'm sure this has always been part of the challenge, but for all the information that's out there, it seems easier for people to fudge their relationship status/identity now more than ever.
This is one of the reasons why I'm always interested in how people define what "single" is.
Some people define single as not being married.
So if their date at the party happens to walk into the next room and isn't right there at the time... They'll tell the person they're talking to that they're single--and give off the impression that they're also available.
Or maybe a person has met someone online and spend vast amounts of time on the phone or online with someone for the past 2 months... And one person might think they're in a relationship--but the other person, upon meeting someone else, insists, "I'm single."
One of the toughest things I've encountered in the modern dating world is trying to find out if the person you're interested in talking to is actually single and available to date in the first place.
I'm sure this has always been part of the challenge, but for all the information that's out there, it seems easier for people to fudge their relationship status/identity now more than ever.
Re: How Long Have You Been Single? (The Brand-Spankin' New & Updated 2017 Version!)
Being a married man I would say that for me I would define single as not currently married. Of course there are degrees to that as well, such as single and never married or was married but now widowed or divorced. I would not consider someone as single who was dating or in a committed relationship outside of marriage. You're right, it can get complicated and there's a lot of room for interpretation.
Being a married man I would say that for me I would define single as not currently married. Of course there are degrees to that as well, such as single and never married or was married but now widowed or divorced. I would not consider someone as single who was dating or in a committed relationship outside of marriage. You're right, it can get complicated and there's a lot of room for interpretation.