Introverts

[zeroturbulence]

I make introverts look like extroverts.

 

[NukePooch]

I make introverts look like extroverts.

Zero, I think you and I need to get together and not talk to each other. I think we'd have a great time.

 

[TheAristocat]

I think this comic summarizes it pretty nicely.

I think that was actually an excellent explanation. I've tried the go-socialize-with-big-groups-of-friends-every-other-day mentality and it makes me feel like I'm dying. I remember one time that for about two years I spent the majority of my daily life with just one other person who I felt comfortable with. Then I went and visited relatives in another state. That was when my little bubble world burst. I was living in the same house as 30 different people - none of whom I had seen for at least five years and many of whom I had never met. About 11 or 12 of them were little children, so you had kids running around and screaming, crying, laughing, pulling on you, desiring your attention every day...

Suffice it to say I was freaked out for the first two or three days. But eventually I settled in and became semi-comfortable in the situation. In spite of my one low blood sugar episode, where I found myself lying face-first on the lawn with kids crawling all over me, I had a pretty good time. One of them even told his dad that he wasn't his real dad but that I was. An awkward situation to say the least. But they were fun.

 

[TheAristocat]

This is why i likes the internets, i can talk to people whilst laying on my couch and being alone.

Weird......... a little.

Glad you figured that one out for me.

 

[Liamson]

I like to take introverts fishing. Its a good deal for both of us.



I'm an Extrovert but, I know that I can be really intense.


Not in a blah blah blah talk talk talk kind of way, just in a "I'm going to make you think and feel and do things."
(Think Aladdin, "Hey if we take the carpet 5 hours that way, wanna see how far we can go before we have to turn around? )


But I also have much better boundaries about this than I did when I was younger. I had a bestie was an INTJ and we did a lot of stuff together but after awhile, they would pull out a book or go workout or study or something that didn't require exploration or creative interaction. Even on a road trip, there were stretches where we didn't need to talk or do anything at all, just simply be. Thats cool.




Most people think extroverts are all ESFPs...

Thats load, centre of attention, obnoxious, boisterous, party oriented people who love being in the middle of it all.

Newp, not I said the fly.

I don't mind standing in front and giving a speech or teaching or performing but, I have a bubble too. I'm not much of a stranger hugger.


I have the big "E" but I need time to process plan and extract a purpose. This usually involves a lot of reflection, study and me time.


The OP mentioned entertaining. I find this stressful too and a tax. Some people were born to fulfill social obligations, also not me (said the flea). Not big on fancy get togethers at my place. You wanna come over, sure but, if you want a big production or even me to come to yours, it flips a duty switch, like having to mow the lawn.


I'm quiet at home but, I don't like being alone.


Also I can't play solitaire or long boring 1 player games. If I'm trying to have fun and it doesn't involve other people somehow, I'm going to have a bad time.


But my opinions and views reflect most of the ENFPs that I've met and am friends with.

 

[Relena7]

I have always considered myself to be an extrovert because I'm great with people, outgoing and friendly, and am completely comfortable making conversation with just about anyone. I recently came to understand that introverts can be great with people... it's just that being with people USES their energy, leaving them feeling tired, while extroverts FEED off of other peoples' energy.

I admit that I covet my "alone" time, and while I LOVE being around people, I do usually end a long visit feeling exhausted. I can't concentrate on anything when someone else is around. (Like in my office, trying to talk to me while I'm working.) Having company over is not a casual "come on over" sort of thing. I have to "prepare" for it, and then I focus on them the entire time, and don't relax until they are gone again. I've always felt very guilty about my need (selfishness) for quiet time to rest, but I'm slowly realizing that it's part of my personality. I tend to have bursts of social interaction and energy, followed by stretches of down-time.

Knowing that I'm introverted is actually my number one concern when thinking about getting remarried one day. Fear that I'll marry someone and then spend a lot of time feeling drained, wishing I had more time alone. I'm convinced I'll need to find another introvert, so we can both have our time alone as needed. LOL.

At the start of your post you say you consider yourself to be extroverted, then at the bottom you say you are introverted. I'm a little confused now.


I am definitely the need-time-to-myself type of person. Being around other people for too long drains and exhausts me. It's especially scary when I try to step outside for some time alone and people wanna follow me. It's like running from leeches or something.....

Are you an introvert, and how does that effect your view of marrying one day?

My introversion doesn't affect my view of marriage at all.
I think that an introverted couple could work especially well together. Introverts take longer to warm up to new people, and even longer to become solid friends. But once they are there, they make very good loyal long-term friends with a select handful of people, rather than have many many acquaintances.
I could easily see an introverted couple being especially close. Since they are more focused on each other, and spend less time on a bunch of other friends. Introverts are more intimate people in general.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

At the start of your post you say you consider yourself to be extroverted, then at the bottom you say you are introverted. I'm a little confused now.

I said I'd always considered myself an extrovert (but I was wrong). I never realized that the intro/extro had more to do with your flow of energy than with how much you talk or like people, etc. That's helped me to understand myself a lot better.

 

[Relena7]

I said I'd always considered myself an extrovert (but I was wrong). I never realized that the intro/extro had more to do with your flow of energy than with how much you talk or like people, etc. That's helped me to understand myself a lot better.

Oh okay! Gotcha.

 

[secularhermit]

I thank this thread... It gave me some ideas to a blog I will post later on...

Thanks to you!

 

[Loveneverfails]

I'm with you, Grace-Like-Rain. I used to consider myself an extrovert, but now I know that I am more moderate, leaning slightly towards the introvert side of the spectrum.

As for how this may play out in a possible future marriage, I think it would probably be easiest if I married someone who was moderately introverted like myself, who values both couple-time and alone-time. That said, I'm not demanding God to put me in a marital situation that is easiest for me. I'll take what He gives me and try to do my best to glorify Him. I somehow can't envision myself with an extreme extrovert, but if that's what God gives me, I would do my best to make it work. It would definitely require going out of my comfort zone at times, but marriage involves some sacrifices.

My parents are on the opposite sides of the spectrum, with my mother being an extreme extrovert, and my father being an extreme introvert. It has actually created a lot of problems. My mom always wants to go out to these events, but my dad gets physically exhausted by crowds in a matter of minutes, but every now and then he'll force himself to go for her sake. My dad values his alone time to a tremendous degree, and mama thinks it means he doesn't enjoy spending time with her, but despite her pain she forces herself to give him space when he needs it. It's compromise but I can tell it's really hard on both of them and it kinda makes me sad, actually.

 

[DragonSlayer]

I make introverts look like extroverts.

Well, I may sound ignorant, but I didn't understand how this picture could make introverts look like extroverts.
Could you explain, please ?

 

[DragonSlayer]

Well, I have two sides, introvert and extrovert; sometimes the extrovert side is dominant, and other times the introvert side is dominant; it depends on the situation; but I could say my introvert side dominance is much more frequent.
I could talk for hours about very interesting topics, but when it comes to " small talk ", gossips and the likes, I just want to disappear like a ghost at that very moment.

I don't mind being in private parties with people I know very well, and in fact I would enjoy it; but I dread to go to parties where I don't know most of people there, and I would have to do small talk with total strangers; that's why I never go to nightclubs and the likes. Indeed, I feel like a fish out of water in that kind of places and situations...

Well, about marriage...I'm so weird in today's criteria that I wonder if I would ever get married one day...for if I get married I don't want to share my bed 24/7, I need to have my own room and my own bed and privacy, so that I could still be " I " and my wife could still be " she ". I don't know who was foolish enough to establish this crazy commandment that if a couple get married, they would have to sleep in the same bed and the same room all their life long and they would never have the right to have their own space...this sounds like a life sentence prison to me... and they wonder why the divorce rate is so high...why so many people would treat me as a heretic and calling me names because I dare to wish separate bedrooms in marriage ? Is Hollywood or the Vatican the Creator of the Universe and all that is in it ?

Well, maybe I will stay celibate for life like Paul and still have my own space and privacy;

life sentence prison is not for me.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Well, I have two sides, introvert and extrovert; sometimes the extrovert side is dominant, and other times the introvert side is dominant; it depends on the situation; but I could say my introvert side dominance is much more frequent.
I could talk for hours about very interesting topics, but when it comes to " small talk ", gossips and the likes, I just want to disappear like a ghost at that very moment.

I don't mind being in private parties with people I know very well, and in fact I would enjoy it; but I dread to go to parties where I don't know most of people there, and I would have to do small talk with total strangers; that's why I never go to nightclubs and the likes. Indeed, I feel like a fish out of water in that kind of places and situations...

Well, about marriage...I'm so weird in today's criteria that I wonder if I would ever get married one day...for if I get married I don't want to share my bed 24/7, I need to have my own room and my own bed and privacy, so that I could still be " I " and my wife could still be " she ". I don't know who was foolish enough to establish this crazy commandment that if a couple get married, they would have to sleep in the same bed and the same room all their life long and they would never have the right to have their own space...this sounds like a life sentence prison to me... and they wonder why the divorce rate is so high...why so many people would treat me as a heretic and calling me names because I dare to wish separate bedrooms in marriage ? Is Hollywood or the Vatican the Creator of the Universe and all that is in it ?

Well, maybe I will stay celibate for life like Paul and still have my own space and privacy;

life sentence prison is not for me.

I know a lot of people who have separate bedrooms. (Mostly because one of them snores, haha.) But yeah, that's not wrong of you! You just need to find someone who has similar desires.

 

[Relena7]

I know a lot of people who have separate bedrooms. (Mostly because one of them snores, haha.) But yeah, that's not wrong of you! You just need to find someone who has similar desires.

Yeah not everyone is going to talk about their sleeping arrangement. Some couples need the option to sleep in their own separate room due to sensory issues (like not being able to tune out snoring....to name a common one lol). Or room temperature preference incompatibility, etc. No big deal.

 

[Relena7]

I have just spent about 5 hours with a bunch of relatives. Laughing, talking, singing, being silly.... I was probably the quietest one there but I still had fun.

As an introvert, I'm feeling pretty exhausted right now. It was fun but I need a break.

 

[Liamson]

So I've been asking my friends and my roommates that I see all the time if they think I'm an Extrovert or an Introvert.

So far this seems to be the common theme, "Uh, huh I dunno. You could be both?"

They will say, "You aren't obnoxious like Josh (ESFP) but you aren't sensitive like Adam either (INFP). I guess you're in the middle?"

It sort of verified my suspicion that I don't come across as an extrovert or entirely as an introvert either but I am An Ex.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

So I've been asking my friends and my roommates that I see all the time if they think I'm an Extrovert or an Introvert.

So far this seems to be the common theme, "Uh, huh I dunno. You could be both?"

They will say, "You aren't obnoxious like Josh (ESFP) but you aren't sensitive like Adam either (INFP). I guess you're in the middle?"

It sort of verified my suspicion that I don't come across as an extrovert or entirely as an introvert either but I am An Ex.

Your inability to play one-person games has given you away as a definite extro.

 

[MissCris]

I mentioned to my mom this morning that I didn't really want to do something she'd asked me to (some annoying thing like...socialize...) because I'm all introverted and weird like that.

And she said, "I don't know anything about that nonsense, but it would be really good for you to come out from under your rock sometimes."

Thanks for proving my point, Mom.

 

[MidniteWelder]

Play your cards right and maybe she'll put ya on restriction...both problems solved

 

[MissCris]

Midnite- to your edit reason: I downloaded a photo editor a couple hours ago and was testing it out. I'll prolly have all kinds of weird avatars in the next few days...

Muahaha...