Is it truly better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all?

[PopClick]

Could anyone's answer change, depending on how long you loved the person, and the circumstances surrounding their departure?

 

[Justcuz]

'I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.'
​

~Alfred Lord Tennyson~



Nice poem.
Too bad this was a gay poet expressing his feelings
Puts it in a whole different perspective, doesn't it?

 

[zeroturbulence]

Don't you dare stay out of this discussion! I was hoping that you'd post, because I wanted to see what you had to say.

That puts you in the minority. The epically small minority But it also puts you on my list of the people who mean a lot to me. Thank you, Popclick. <3

 

[jimmydiggs]

It satisfies the flesh.

 

[PopClick]

It satisfies the flesh.

To have loved and lost satisfies the flesh?

 

[Jullianna]

Love is about the flesh? I thought that was lust..but that's probably a whole other topic.


If the Lord wants a Bride for Himself, surely it's okay for us. He came up with that whole two becoming one thing, and not just in a physical manner of speaking.

 

[Liamson]

MMMMMM...... fleshy flesh

 

[PopClick]

It satisfies the flesh.

I'm honestly still not sure what you mean, but seeing how many times as we are directed to love one another in the bible... I'm having a hard time equating love with satisfying the flesh. If it's the "and lost" part that you're saying is fleshly... well, we humans don't always have control over whether we lose someone or not, do we?

 

[GRA]

Ok, I think I need to make it clear that I'm NOT saying that you won't get anything lasting and/or fruitful out of having loved someone..

What I am saying is that someone who loved and lost probably feels more pain and sorrow (languishing over the love that they miss) than someone who has never loved and only experiences loneliness and frustration (which can often be overcome quickly with a good movie or something).

See, this is why I usually stay out of serious discussions (and semi-serious ones too)

"I've got news for you..."

("I am not angry - I just want to make my point very clearly...")

No movie or any other 'activity' that I know of can/will "answer" the pangs of loneliness due to the [severe] lack of a good honest close relationship with someone of the other gender.

Someone who "has never loved" - but who has the will and the want "to love" - who has a lot of love to give, but is unable to give it - may still feel the pangs of loneliness because they cannot give the love that they want to give. (And I am talking about the many various ways to love - and to express that love - physical and otherwise - as a collective whole.)

A woman "feels the need" 'to be loved'. A man "feels the need" 'to love'. It is "the natural order of things" that God put into existance. It is the way He made us. Yes - in a "surface level" general sense - we ALL "need to be loved" - male and female alike. What I am describing here exists at a deeper physiological/psychological level within us where male and female operate differently with regard to identity - "it is in the chromosomes"... (In other words, this is really the way it works ["based on my understanding of things"]. We just generalize it for simplicity.)

Do you believe that a person can "miss" something they have never ["really and truly"] had?

I do.

I am not saying that one cannot be distracted away from it - with an 'activity' such as watching a movie - so that they "feel it less" at those moments in time; however, it is still there and demanding to be "answered"...

The question:

Is it truly better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all?

There is obviously no indisputable "correct" answer -- because of the many variables involved in each person's idea of what 'better' means to them in this context. A person's focus on the positive or negative "will make all the difference in the world"...

Personally -- in the context of this question -- I believe that I would rather focus on the positive -- because something is a whole lot less *empty* than nothing -- and therefore, better...



.

 

[Nautilus]

'I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.'
​

~Alfred Lord Tennyson~



Nice poem.
Too bad this was a gay poet expressing his feelings
Puts it in a whole different perspective, doesn't it?

Not really. Him being gay or straight has no effect whatsoever on the quality of his poetry. Good work is good work.

 

[Snackersmom]

I would say, generally speaking, it's better to love & lose than to never love. Love is the stitching that binds the quilt of our experiences.......without love, our lives are like a jumbled mess of disorganized pieces of "fabric".....

The only exception I can think of is falling in love with an abuser, or someone who leads you away from God. I suppose you can learn and recover from such an experience, but I'm sure that it would be better to avoid such a situation.

Guarding your heart is important, but I can't honestly say that I regret any of the not-so-pleasant situations I've dealt with......even if they were painful, I learned from them. Actually, some of the best lessons I learned came after a difficult or painful experience.

When I took ceramics in college, I noticed that a lot of the other student's work fell apart in the kiln. Why? Because they were too gentle with it. When you add a handle or some sort of decoration to your pots, you first need to scour it up.........cut into the pot pretty deeply, so your addition will really become a part of it........if you're firm enough, it will go through the fire intact, but gentleness just won't do it. "The trying of your faith worketh patience"

 

[Justcuz]

Not really. Him being gay or straight has no effect whatsoever on the quality of his poetry. Good work is good work.

... even if it was inspired by sinful feelings?

 

[Nautilus]

... even if it was inspired by sinful feelings?

Yeah I dont really care though I wonder why you do so much? I mean do you ignore Queen, one of the greatest bands in history, just because the singer was gay? If so, I am going to assume you are losing out on a lot of experience. Are you just scared of gays? I mean Im trying to understand why someone's sexuality somehow negates an entire history of work regardless of how classic?

 

[Justcuz]

Yeah I dont really care though I wonder why you do so much? I mean do you ignore Queen, one of the greatest bands in history, just because the singer was gay? If so, I am going to assume you are losing out on a lot of experience. Are you just scared of gays? I mean Im trying to understand why someone's sexuality somehow negates an entire history of work regardless of how classic?

'Queen' the name says it all...

No, i don't listen to it, mainly because it's an ancient band and i'm not that fond of 'the oldies" anyway.
That it is "one of the greatest bands in history" is just YOUR opinion, i'm not impressed. So i'm sorry, you can't use 'Queen' for your argument.

Am i scared of gays? Whatever made you think that? I hate the sin, but i don't hate or fear the sinner.
One of my best friends has recently chosen that lifestyle. I don't want to lose him as a friend, though i cannot justify his choice.

Artistic expressions of gay artists are too often used to help justify their way of life. Like so:
'Oh, he made a great piece of art/music/poetry.. he must be a wonderful human being. But you say he's gay? Then being gay isn't that bad after all...'


Btw, question to you: if you read a great love poem, but you knew it was of a pedophile; would you still appreciate it?

 

[Jullianna]

Are we really going to derail a beautiful thread with this? Aren't there enough threads on this topic to post on?

 

[PopClick]

If what you got out of the experience (positive) out-weighed the pain, etc. (negative) -- would it not be worth it because of what was gained - even though there was also loss?

But couldn't it go the other way? What if the negative (the pain of losing the person) outweighed the positive? What if the loss involved so much pain that even the "good" memories were painful, because of the overshadowing loss?

Based on the 'common phrase' and its general use -- I am assuming that there is substantial 'gain' (positive) involved - by definition (in/of the question).

But there is also substantial loss (negative) involved.

 

[Justcuz]

Are we really going to derail a beautiful thread with this? Aren't there enough threads on this topic to post on?

- It's not derailing, it's just taking a detour. Enjoy the ride!
- It's not derailing, it's just going somewhere you don't want it to go.
- The question is if gay love poetry is really that beautiful
- I think i have an obligation, as a christian, to comment on this thread.

There IS already another thread (which you set up)
where we aren't allowed to discuss anything else
but sugar, spice and everything nice...

 

[Snackersmom]

^^^Uh, I will remind you that no one even MENTIONED "gay love poetry" OR Mr. Tennyson until you decided to take a sledge-hammer to the metaphorical train-tracks, so to speak........You are not obligated to comment on something that hadn't even been brought up .

You are welcome to comment on the topic at hand, though...... Better to love & lose, or not? Thoughts?

 

[Justcuz]

^^^Uh, I will remind you that no one even MENTIONED "gay love poetry" OR Mr. Tennyson until you decided to take a sledge-hammer to the metaphorical train-tracks, so to speak........You are not obligated to comment on something that hadn't even been brought up .

You are welcome to comment on the topic at hand, though...... Better to love & lose, or not? Thoughts?

The subject is implicit to the poem itself,
because Alfred Lord Tenneson DID write it AS gay love poetry. You can't seperate the one from the other.
So in a way i didn't bring it up, but PopClick did...

When it comes to gay relationships btw, its better not to have loved at all...

 

[Oncefallen]

Are we really going to derail a beautiful thread with this? Aren't there enough threads on this topic to post on?

- It's not derailing, it's just taking a detour. Enjoy the ride!
- It's not derailing, it's just going somewhere you don't want it to go.
- The question is if gay love poetry is really that beautiful
- I think i have an obligation, as a christian, to comment on this thread.

There IS already another thread (which you set up)
where we aren't allowed to discuss anything else
but sugar, spice and everything nice...

I hate to say it, but it is derailing. If you wish to debate Lord Tenyson's sexual orientation and it's affect on his poetry, start your own thread on the topic.