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K
I will agree with the general idea of most of the posters: Looks do matter, but not to the point to ignore everything else and base your relationship on that.
To be honest, I want to be attracted to my husband, but I don't care if people don't find him attractive as long as I do. If he is attractive but he's a jerk, I will have to say goodbye though. I won't say that I don't notice looks because I do, but if the guy doesn't have a personality that I find appealing he will lose his charm before my eyes.
I would like to add that personally, I've met guys who at first I didn't think were attractive, but as I got to know them, I found them very attractive. Personality does matter( and I'm assuming this includes love for God above personality and looks) .
And I liked what eugenius said, I think people should be more subtle when talking about hot guys and hot girls. Joking around is okay, and I have done it, and I think most people have done it, but we should be careful with the words we use and use them in a safe place. I think as long as it's clear that it's a joke and you're not frequently repeating how hot that guy/girl is, that's fine.
To be honest, I want to be attracted to my husband, but I don't care if people don't find him attractive as long as I do. If he is attractive but he's a jerk, I will have to say goodbye though. I won't say that I don't notice looks because I do, but if the guy doesn't have a personality that I find appealing he will lose his charm before my eyes.
I would like to add that personally, I've met guys who at first I didn't think were attractive, but as I got to know them, I found them very attractive. Personality does matter( and I'm assuming this includes love for God above personality and looks) .
And I liked what eugenius said, I think people should be more subtle when talking about hot guys and hot girls. Joking around is okay, and I have done it, and I think most people have done it, but we should be careful with the words we use and use them in a safe place. I think as long as it's clear that it's a joke and you're not frequently repeating how hot that guy/girl is, that's fine.
C
I think attraction is important but its not the be all and end all.
My husband is tall and lanky but hes not muscular, and before we even dated I really liked that physical thing about him. He also had a receding hairline (being 31), and on meeting him I'll be honest I wasn't praising God about it initially but I wasn't against it either. I had a clear conviction quite early on from God that I was going to fall in love and marry this man, and the more Im with him the more I've come to really dig the hair on his head (or lack thereof) so it has been change of heart thing. The biggest thing God has taught me is that my husband is my standard of beauty and I am his.
Plus I guess, my honesty and openess to date and marry a divorced man 12 years older than me from the other side of the world has helped. And before meeting me he pretty much gave up on Canadian and American women, due to a similar annoyance to you men of being expected to look like male models I suppose.
You decent hardworking Christian men - spend $2000 and go to Australia or New Zealand (although avoid Auckland or Sydney, theyre a bit flaky there). Come wife hunting down here, theres a man drought and the men are pathetic.
My husband is tall and lanky but hes not muscular, and before we even dated I really liked that physical thing about him. He also had a receding hairline (being 31), and on meeting him I'll be honest I wasn't praising God about it initially but I wasn't against it either. I had a clear conviction quite early on from God that I was going to fall in love and marry this man, and the more Im with him the more I've come to really dig the hair on his head (or lack thereof) so it has been change of heart thing. The biggest thing God has taught me is that my husband is my standard of beauty and I am his.
Plus I guess, my honesty and openess to date and marry a divorced man 12 years older than me from the other side of the world has helped. And before meeting me he pretty much gave up on Canadian and American women, due to a similar annoyance to you men of being expected to look like male models I suppose.
You decent hardworking Christian men - spend $2000 and go to Australia or New Zealand (although avoid Auckland or Sydney, theyre a bit flaky there). Come wife hunting down here, theres a man drought and the men are pathetic.
U
Since i started this topic.. i suppose i should state... to me, looks matter. No, i don't mean model gorgeous. But i want to look at someone i think is attractive. I'm sorry, i don't care how great of a person someone is, if i don't look at you and find you attractive, just not going to happen. Though i have dated beautiful women.. and i have dated homely, not so impressive women that were still cute.. to me. But true, i don't care how beautiful she is, if she isn't a 'good' person inside, neither will i touch that either.
I think one poster said it well or something like this:
When you meet your true love, they will be beautiful/handsome to you! No matter what the world may think. YOU will find them IRRESISTIBLE.
What a blessing from God. For those still searching....when you stop searching and he/she seems to just appear
When you meet your true love, they will be beautiful/handsome to you! No matter what the world may think. YOU will find them IRRESISTIBLE.
What a blessing from God. For those still searching....when you stop searching and he/she seems to just appear
R
The looks get my attention, his personality keeps it. You can't notice a personality from across the room.
And also, you can date a pretty or handsome face, but if there's no good personality or good morals behind that face, what is then the point?
We can all talk about how hot a guy is, or drool over the appearance of a movie star, but that is a very different thing from what we think makes good relationship material.
I don't think there is any point in men getting insecure about this and worrying that all women base our relationship choices on what we drool over or talk about. It's all in HOW you ask the question. If you ask her what she likes in a guy in general, she might name things on the surface (just for fun) like appearance, etc, things that get her attention first.
If you ask a woman what makes a great companion, you will likely hear more deep and meaningful answers, the kinds of answers where looks don't matter as much.
That's why there's a misunderstanding.
You can't notice a personality from across the room. And also, you can date a pretty or handsome face, but if there's no good personality or good morals behind that face, what is then the point?
We can all talk about how hot a guy is, or drool over the appearance of a movie star, but that is a very different thing from what we think makes good relationship material.
I don't think there is any point in men getting insecure about this and worrying that all women base our relationship choices on what we drool over or talk about. It's all in HOW you ask the question. If you ask her what she likes in a guy in general, she might name things on the surface (just for fun) like appearance, etc, things that get her attention first.
If you ask a woman what makes a great companion, you will likely hear more deep and meaningful answers, the kinds of answers where looks don't matter as much.
That's why there's a misunderstanding.
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U
I find this an ironic statement since all you ever hear about is how women are so insecure anymore because of the women presented in the media and expecting thats all men want.
Also, if i never hear women talk about what 'is' important, and only hear about 'hot' guys, what am i going to believe? I'm going to believe what i hear... not what i don't hear. Doesn't work that way with men either. A woman doesn't walk in and catch a man looking at porn and think 'thats not what he bases relationships on' and walk out without bother. So when a man hears women repeatedly talk about 'hot' famous men, he's not going to just say 'thats not what women really want in a relationship'. Can't say it applies to only one gender.
Also, if i never hear women talk about what 'is' important, and only hear about 'hot' guys, what am i going to believe? I'm going to believe what i hear... not what i don't hear. Doesn't work that way with men either. A woman doesn't walk in and catch a man looking at porn and think 'thats not what he bases relationships on' and walk out without bother. So when a man hears women repeatedly talk about 'hot' famous men, he's not going to just say 'thats not what women really want in a relationship'. Can't say it applies to only one gender.
S
Honestly, I think alot of times when someone says looks dont matter its because...they are trying to push the idea that this isnt the only or first thing that we should like someone for. I mean obviously, looks do matter...people do notice and judge based on what they see, but the heart,personality, and many other things make a person attractive as well. I think this is the point people try to make. Also, people tend to be insecure about their own looks and want people to love them for who they are inside as well as outside...I haven't met to many girls who don't want to be beautiful and I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder so theres probably someone for everyone.
I think this is the point people try to make. Also, people tend to be insecure about their own looks and want people to love them for who they are inside as well as outside...I haven't met to many girls who don't want to be beautiful and I think beauty is in the eye of the beholder so theres probably someone for everyone.
B
Well, looks always mattered for me. But they aren't ALL that matter. I won't marry a guy just because he's good looking, also, and mainly because he puts God first, we have the same vision, his personality, his character and yes, I need to be attracted to his looks. But looks aren't ALL. Looks complement the other things that a woman is looking for in a guy in order to marry/have a relationship with.
H
I think on a baseline everyone is saying the same thing....looks matter, but there are WAY more important things to consider. both genders go through insecurities from what they see or hear from the other, and thats a societal problem ~shrug~ as individuals we have the power to change that. since we've all read this thread we should all now be aware and more concientous of what we say and show as to what is important and what we are really looking for =) when u love sumone it ends up that they are who is most attractive to you, nomatter how everyone else views them ^^ god sets us up pretty good in that category