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J
I actually feel like I'm spiritually and mentally ready to be a loving husband. I think I have enough patience, wisdom and humility to overcome most problems that might come up between a husband and wife (I know this doesn't sound very humble at all hehe). I don't get jealous, I don't get over-protective, I don't desire to have power over a woman, and I'm not afraid to admit when I'm wrong.
My biggest problem is probably that I am a pushover. When I love a woman, I'll pretty much agree with her on everything and do whatever she wants. That might sound like a good thing, but she'd probably get bored with me quickly and fall out of love. Why? Because I think women would rather have a man who is a bit of a challenge than a man who is always nice to them. Well, I can always take up writing.
My biggest problem is probably that I am a pushover. When I love a woman, I'll pretty much agree with her on everything and do whatever she wants. That might sound like a good thing, but she'd probably get bored with me quickly and fall out of love. Why? Because I think women would rather have a man who is a bit of a challenge than a man who is always nice to them. Well, I can always take up writing.
). You may tick her off initially, but I guarantee you that she'll RESPECT you for it once she cools down, right ladies?If she doesn't respect you for it or if she plays little "I'm never going to speak to you again" high school games, walk away. She's a manipulator.
Trust would be the most scary part of a new relationship, to me. Therefore, I would say what I would need to change most is to have a more disearning heart for those who I'm considering as a mate. I don't trust myself to figure it out on my own. If Christ is my Lord, then I need to seek Him for that disearning heart first to do His will, then the rest will be easier (Matt 6:33).
The 2nd thing I need to do is to discover what my flesh (hormones) want. That may sound crude, but the better I know myself, the better I can see where to start. A good watchman needs to keep an eye on himself, So that God can entrust him with watching others (spouse, children).
I also need to learn to be less critical of others. I catch myself looking between the lines all the time even when conversing with close friends. While this makes me more careful, which is good, it also puts me behind a defensive wall. While this makes me feel safe, It also leaves me feeling lonely. With my attitude the way it is, God HAS to be in charge of such an important decision!
The 2nd thing I need to do is to discover what my flesh (hormones) want. That may sound crude, but the better I know myself, the better I can see where to start. A good watchman needs to keep an eye on himself, So that God can entrust him with watching others (spouse, children).
I also need to learn to be less critical of others. I catch myself looking between the lines all the time even when conversing with close friends. While this makes me more careful, which is good, it also puts me behind a defensive wall. While this makes me feel safe, It also leaves me feeling lonely. With my attitude the way it is, God HAS to be in charge of such an important decision!
All love begins with trust. If one cannot trust, one cannot love.
And all trust begins with love! One must learn to love before they can begin to trust.
It sounds like a perfect catch-22, but what is it that Jesus and God always tells us, hundreds and hundreds of times in the bible???
Answer: DO NOT BE AFRAID.
And all trust begins with love! One must learn to love before they can begin to trust.
It sounds like a perfect catch-22, but what is it that Jesus and God always tells us, hundreds and hundreds of times in the bible???
Answer: DO NOT BE AFRAID.
This is LightningClap's idea:
What about "what trait(s) do you think you most need to improve upon to be the person you wish to be in a marriage"?
So, what changes do you know you need the Lord to help you make?
Mine:
- #1 would definitely be that I need to stop hiding behind my work and work less, which is undoubtedly why I'm still single. I'm reeeally working on this one. Stop laughing. I AM
- Learn to chill more so I could spend more time with whoever he might be rather than thinking I need to be doing something constructive every single minute of my life. Even in CC I feel like I need to be doing more. Maybe if I would slow down, God could teach ME more..
- Be more trusting rather than having concerns that I will repeat my mistakes; maybe even be more trusting of men in general.
-Try to figure out why guys keep telling me that I'm scary.
What about "what trait(s) do you think you most need to improve upon to be the person you wish to be in a marriage"?
So, what changes do you know you need the Lord to help you make?
Mine:
- #1 would definitely be that I need to stop hiding behind my work and work less, which is undoubtedly why I'm still single. I'm reeeally working on this one. Stop laughing. I AM
- Learn to chill more so I could spend more time with whoever he might be rather than thinking I need to be doing something constructive every single minute of my life. Even in CC I feel like I need to be doing more. Maybe if I would slow down, God could teach ME more..
- Be more trusting rather than having concerns that I will repeat my mistakes; maybe even be more trusting of men in general.
-Try to figure out why guys keep telling me that I'm scary.
Honestly Jullianna, I have no idea why men find you to be scary. **shakes in his boots**
J
is trying to stop laughing but can't, seems to remember someone talking about a 22 hr day recently.
I knew YOU would be the one to laugh at that I really AM working on this I have only worked 10 hours a day for the past 3 days!
Honestly Jullianna, I have no idea why men find you to be scary. **shakes in his boots**
Don't believe everything the guy that's tied up in my basement tells people
I knew YOU would be the one to laugh at that
I really AM working on this I have only worked 10 hours a day for the past 3 days!Honestly Jullianna, I have no idea why men find you to be scary. **shakes in his boots**
Don't believe everything the guy that's tied up in my basement tells people
Hm, I guess since Jules put my name in the initial post (grr) I should probably respond...
Really I only see two things (big things) that need work.
- Being a leader instead of a follower. With a servant's heart for God, I have never been a leader of men.
- Avoiding sloth, which leads to sinful lust. Along with this, comes 'not being afraid to get out and do something new'. Maybe it all ties in to the first.
Really I only see two things (big things
) that need work.- Being a leader instead of a follower. With a servant's heart for God, I have never been a leader of men.
- Avoiding sloth, which leads to sinful lust. Along with this, comes 'not being afraid to get out and do something new'. Maybe it all ties in to the first.
If you really want to know how much a woman loves you or to know her true character, disagree with her about something (Provided you really do disagree; don't just do it to be contrary ). You may tick her off initially, but I guarantee you that she'll RESPECT you for it once she cools down, right ladies?
If she doesn't respect you for it or if she plays little "I'm never going to speak to you again" high school games, walk away. She's a manipulator.
). You may tick her off initially, but I guarantee you that she'll RESPECT you for it once she cools down, right ladies?If she doesn't respect you for it or if she plays little "I'm never going to speak to you again" high school games, walk away. She's a manipulator.
is trying to stop laughing but can't, seems to remember someone talking about a 22 hr day recently.
I knew YOU would be the one to laugh at that I really AM working on this I have only worked 10 hours a day for the past 3 days!
Honestly Jullianna, I have no idea why men find you to be scary. **shakes in his boots**
Don't believe everything the guy that's tied up in my basement tells people
I knew YOU would be the one to laugh at that
I really AM working on this I have only worked 10 hours a day for the past 3 days!Honestly Jullianna, I have no idea why men find you to be scary. **shakes in his boots**
Don't believe everything the guy that's tied up in my basement tells people
Seriously Jullianna, I know how difficult it is to break from the pattern of overworking, I am prone to it likewise. It's all too easy to jump in and work all sorts of extra hours when we see an overabundance of work to be done. We tend to be a huge asset to our employers, however our personal lives do suffer as a result. Although the causes of our workaholism are very different, the end result is the same.
As for the things I need to work on to be a better future husband, **sings** oh Lord it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way.
**reverts to serious mode**
I know that I need to work on a couple of things
**learning how to listen without trying to "fix" the problem
**learning to release my pride over my income (no it's not that great, the pride comes into play with having difficulty accepting that a future wife may end up being the primary bread winner)