I think I understand where Nichole is coming from, so maybe I can give this a shot. I'm not going to try to speak FOR her...I just want to point out what I see, in case it's helpful.
Snackersmom says:
"You have also previously publicly described my faith as "ignorant", and refused to issue even a private apology for it. "
That's a biggie. Disagreements are going to happen, but there is a more respectful way to disagree. That's pretty strong.
As far as the name thing goes:
She told you to stop calling her a certain name, and was very serious about it. You didn't stop, so she took that as disrespect. It makes sense.
I think the moral of that story is: Make sure you know if someone is joking or not. If you're unsure, just simply ask.
Assumptions can make a person look like a KJV donkey. I should know; I've brayed a time or fifty myself.
Not everyone is going to get along great, understand each other well, etc. Some people just operate on entirely different wavelengths than others, so to speak. Sometimes it's best to just keep it civil and light, but don't try to tread past that in such a case. It can be better for both involved. Just a thought.
Ultimately, listen to God's leading.
Leave it to NiceguyJ to come in and reasonable the place up. The nerve!
Yes, that is pretty much what I was trying to say. If I ever need to hire an official spokesman, you've got a job if you want it!
Lightning, I really don't want to re-hash the offense, I just don't think it would be helpful, and I don't particularly want to discuss it with you any longer.....I'm short on time and I don't feel as if anything I'm saying is getting through. What I was trying to bring to your attention is that a statement doesn't have to be factually incorrect in order for it to be inappropriate. If you called a girl "ugly", and she told you that you should apologize for it, would you first take a poll to find out if she really is unattractive? I surely hope not! You should apologize for saying something you shouldn't have said. And not in an "I'm sorry you were hurt by my comment" way, that makes it sound like it's her fault for getting offended. Instead you should say something along the lines of: "I apologize for the comment I made. It was inappropriate and rude. Can you forgive me?" I hope you see the difference, because it's HUGE.
Keep in mind, if the girl in question is really a supermodel, she's probably not going to be too hurt by your comment, because she knows that you're wrong....the comment may not cause real pain, but it's still insulting, and should still be apologized for. Because no matter WHAT she looks like, gorgeous or not, it still shouldn't have been said. I hope that makes sense to you, because I can't think of any other way to explain it.
I am NOT calling myself a spiritual supermodel, mind you. God can judge if my faith is ignorant or not, strong or not, true or not. He can also judge if there is any pride or disrespect is in ANY of us, because that's not something we are qualified to say about ourselves, right?
He knows our hearts, we don't. "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts"........A huge part of spiritual growth is simply being sensitive enough towards God to realize when we have said or done something that we shouldn't have. And then, as He leads.........we make things right by admitting we were wrong and apologizing. Again, you DON'T have to say that what you said was factually incorrect. I once apologized to you for calling you a Butt-head. The apology wasn't borne of any realization that you weren't really a Butt-head.....I made the apology because I should not have called you that. It was inappropriate and uncalled for. I shouldn't have said it, and I apologized without you even asking me to. And, believe it or not, the sun rose the next day.
As for the nickname, I must admit that I'm finding it VERY hard to believe that you thought I was only kidding about my distaste for the nickname "s-mom". I was rather plain about it and even explained the connotation it had for me, that I found it impossible to see it and think of anything but "s*** mom". However, since I'm not you and we obviously think very differently, I'm just going to give you the benefit of the doubt. If you had chosen to give a proper apology, it might have gone something like this: "I can see how it would be irritating to have your request disregarded like that. Perhaps I need to take lessons on how to get along with females, but I honestly thought that you were only joking about your distaste for the name, because my fraternity brother Johnny "Beano" Stofferson would have thought it was absolutely hilarious if I kept calling him something like that.....I guess you and Johnny don't have much in common, huh?
I apologize for my lack of discretion, and I will only call you names that you approve of in the future." Seriously, I would have laughed, accepted the apology, and the issue would have been dropped. I would have accepted something a lot less creative than that, too, btw....but you need to realize that the most important part of a sincere apology is to admit that you did something you shouldn't have.
I don't have a problem with nicknames, several people here often come up with various ones, and it doesn't bother me at all. However, in your case it would be wise to stick with the 3 that I previously stated that I have no problem with. I also think it best that we just avoid each other..... I really didn't even want to bring the issues up with you, because I knew that dealing with it would be a bit like force-feeding jell-o to a squirrel......I only posted because I thought I should.
Anyway, I think I'm through here. I do hope you take this seriously, because apologizing to God and other people when needed is IMPERATIVE for spiritual growth, and so is recognizing the fact that there is probably SOME measure of pride and disrespect dwelling in ALL of us....the trick is staying spiritually sensitive enough that we can recognize it when it crops up, and being humble enough to make things right with a proper apology.
