-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
@ catlynn. Hello!
That reacttion is common and normal being human. You just want safety or protection, as any one else. I, a divorced one, never wanted to be married and never planned to get children and, the thing is, How could I enjoy that part of life I would be missing? Legal sex is not achieved by marriage. Tha fact that many of fell in failures does not mena many will recover and sort out those faults that hindered them to enjoy the fullness that can be achieved in marriage. The problem is not outside is insiede me and others.
Marriage is a miracle. It´s a miracle being loved or cared, and I know I don´t have the essentials to be loved or to be in marriage, but I cannot imagine a borring eternity without love and the love of a woman I really like and love.
That reacttion is common and normal being human. You just want safety or protection, as any one else. I, a divorced one, never wanted to be married and never planned to get children and, the thing is, How could I enjoy that part of life I would be missing? Legal sex is not achieved by marriage. Tha fact that many of fell in failures does not mena many will recover and sort out those faults that hindered them to enjoy the fullness that can be achieved in marriage. The problem is not outside is insiede me and others.
Marriage is a miracle. It´s a miracle being loved or cared, and I know I don´t have the essentials to be loved or to be in marriage, but I cannot imagine a borring eternity without love and the love of a woman I really like and love.
I used to work at this job where I'd meet a lot of guys who were business owners and contractors and they'd almost always ask me if I was married and when I told them no they'd always tell me I was smart not to be. Some of them were downright miserable because of their marriage and would tell me how their wives have them wrapped around their finger and how they play games with their heads (manipulate them) in order to get what they want. One guy used to say I was the smartest guy in the room because I never got married.
Its easy to think marriage is easy when you see couples together but what we don't see is what goes on when they are alone. Those of us who've never been married probably have no idea what its like to actually live with a spouse day-in and day-out. Even a best friend doesn't compare because we are not sleeping with that best friend and waking up with them every morning and we are not expecting certain responsibilities from them. I think that is why so many think marriage will be all hearts and kisses, because they think its just like having a sleepover with your best friend.
Its easy to think marriage is easy when you see couples together but what we don't see is what goes on when they are alone. Those of us who've never been married probably have no idea what its like to actually live with a spouse day-in and day-out. Even a best friend doesn't compare because we are not sleeping with that best friend and waking up with them every morning and we are not expecting certain responsibilities from them. I think that is why so many think marriage will be all hearts and kisses, because they think its just like having a sleepover with your best friend.
M
Sometimes, it IS like that. In the very beginning, it's like that a lot.
Guys...marriage is HARD. It's wonderful. It's painful. It's beautiful. It's challenging. It's fun, and scary, and insane, and amazing and awful and you have to bare your very soul and trust that this person, this imperfect and fallible human being, is going to love you through it all.
What we see of other people's marriages is what they have made of it. Or maybe it's a bad day, or week, or even year; that happens. Sometimes the good days are interrupted by a couple of bad hours here and there, and sometimes the bad days are only bearable because you know, you KNOW, that eventually, the sun is going shine again.
My heart breaks for the couples who only experience storms. And unfortunately, that's mostly their own fault. It comes back to that whole "me, me, me" thing.
Guys...marriage is HARD. It's wonderful. It's painful. It's beautiful. It's challenging. It's fun, and scary, and insane, and amazing and awful and you have to bare your very soul and trust that this person, this imperfect and fallible human being, is going to love you through it all.
What we see of other people's marriages is what they have made of it. Or maybe it's a bad day, or week, or even year; that happens. Sometimes the good days are interrupted by a couple of bad hours here and there, and sometimes the bad days are only bearable because you know, you KNOW, that eventually, the sun is going shine again.
My heart breaks for the couples who only experience storms. And unfortunately, that's mostly their own fault. It comes back to that whole "me, me, me" thing.
Wait.... is the source of your information all from the women?
If a woman is complaining about her husband, often times it's just venting. Especially if they are in their 20s. There is a massive amount of maturity that occurs in ten years.
Men do a lot, that often women don't appreciate as well. And vice versa of course.
If a woman is complaining about her husband, often times it's just venting. Especially if they are in their 20s. There is a massive amount of maturity that occurs in ten years.
Men do a lot, that often women don't appreciate as well. And vice versa of course.
I'm aware of people's warnings ''marriage is hard'' but the idealist side of me pushes me to think it is possible to have a good and godly marriage that doesn't feel like hell. You know what? That shouldn't be an ideal, first of all, it should be reality , especially in a Christian marriage. I know marriage must indeed be hard but I refuse to just accept that it's gonna be hard. You can call me a rebel 
.
.
I think I want someone who's a bit broken though. I certainly am.
Anyone want to broken together?
Totally get that, I have a friend around my age, and she has just seen so many friends and church brother's and sisters, divorce, cheat on each other, and wreak havoc. You really have to trust the Lord and lean on Him, but there are signs that we should see: Is he/she repentant, do they humble themselves to others, what does their obedience to Christ look like, are they a whole person, how have they gone through suffering in the past, is there friendship, crazy!
J
Marriage is a precious thing. The problem is not with marriage. It's a people problem. They get out of it what they put into it.
Many people marry for the wrong reasons.
They marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
They get upset. They vent. They are frustrated.
But many of those very same people would be crushed if their spouse walked out on them. Their marriages mean a lot more to them than they let on.
The sad thing is that it has become a thing in our culture to complain about and even mock marriage. Maybe we can help change that by lifting it up to what God designed it to be in our own lives and by encouraging others when they are so very frustrated and offering to pray with them about their marriages.
Many people marry for the wrong reasons.
They marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons.
They get upset. They vent. They are frustrated.
But many of those very same people would be crushed if their spouse walked out on them. Their marriages mean a lot more to them than they let on.
The sad thing is that it has become a thing in our culture to complain about and even mock marriage. Maybe we can help change that by lifting it up to what God designed it to be in our own lives and by encouraging others when they are so very frustrated and offering to pray with them about their marriages.
When I first became a widow I though "thats it, i will throw in the towel!" I am happy with just being with my children and we make a pretty neat little family. It has been moving along happily for 4 years that way, and I have been quite happy.
Lately I find myself less needed by my little people. They are growing more independant everyday. It is only recently that I have condidered the prospect of marriage again. It is however very diffiecult to find a widower because unfortunalty the widows tend to exceed the widowers, and I feel I am unevenly yoked now. It is a sad time, maybe some of my Christian awesome friends could come with some ideas for me. At 37 I don't want to be alone for ever!
Lately I find myself less needed by my little people. They are growing more independant everyday. It is only recently that I have condidered the prospect of marriage again. It is however very diffiecult to find a widower because unfortunalty the widows tend to exceed the widowers, and I feel I am unevenly yoked now. It is a sad time, maybe some of my Christian awesome friends could come with some ideas for me. At 37 I don't want to be alone for ever!
M
u know Catlynn i think i'm with za opnion saying zat marriage between 2 ppl is like sea trip on boat and on zat boat zer r 2 ppl who r strugling 2 stay alive on zat boat infrot of high waves who tries 2 take zat boat down2 bottom(Which is evil war who dont like anything good) in zat trip both tries 2 reach 2 shore save(Which is heaven) and if zey highly connected e each other and co-operate 2 make zat trip reach its destination,here we can say zat marriage will work!
J
When I first became a widow I though "thats it, i will throw in the towel!" I am happy with just being with my children and we make a pretty neat little family. It has been moving along happily for 4 years that way, and I have been quite happy.
Lately I find myself less needed by my little people. They are growing more independant everyday. It is only recently that I have condidered the prospect of marriage again. It is however very diffiecult to find a widower because unfortunalty the widows tend to exceed the widowers, and I feel I am unevenly yoked now. It is a sad time, maybe some of my Christian awesome friends could come with some ideas for me. At 37 I don't want to be alone for ever!
Lately I find myself less needed by my little people. They are growing more independant everyday. It is only recently that I have condidered the prospect of marriage again. It is however very diffiecult to find a widower because unfortunalty the widows tend to exceed the widowers, and I feel I am unevenly yoked now. It is a sad time, maybe some of my Christian awesome friends could come with some ideas for me. At 37 I don't want to be alone for ever!
I personally dread being chained to a wrong person, esp. if its some self-centred cold hearted person with the heart of a reptile; that is when it becomes bondage, ... however I dream of being one with that person who is more than ordinary, who has a heart of gold - and a discerning intellect like a sword, with character to match --- and the right relationship can make you soar like eagles ...
...nearly got married a few times, probably a good thing I didn't at the time, maybe?..., however I do not allow pessimism nor a veneer of convincing myself I am content single - to deter me, preferring to be real and honest about it...I can be 'content enough' to some degree, but lets face it, we were not engineered to be 'single'...simple as that..., however finding the correct person that meets the 'marriable criteria' is very very difficult to find...
...I prefer to have female company around me; a girlfriend I get to know rather well, before I consider marriage ...
...nearly got married a few times, probably a good thing I didn't at the time, maybe?..., however I do not allow pessimism nor a veneer of convincing myself I am content single - to deter me, preferring to be real and honest about it...I can be 'content enough' to some degree, but lets face it, we were not engineered to be 'single'...simple as that..., however finding the correct person that meets the 'marriable criteria' is very very difficult to find...
...I prefer to have female company around me; a girlfriend I get to know rather well, before I consider marriage ...
Last edited:
When I first became a widow I though "thats it, i will throw in the towel!" I am happy with just being with my children and we make a pretty neat little family. It has been moving along happily for 4 years that way, and I have been quite happy.
Lately I find myself less needed by my little people. They are growing more independant everyday. It is only recently that I have condidered the prospect of marriage again. It is however very diffiecult to find a widower because unfortunalty the widows tend to exceed the widowers, and I feel I am unevenly yoked now. It is a sad time, maybe some of my Christian awesome friends could come with some ideas for me. At 37 I don't want to be alone for ever!
Lately I find myself less needed by my little people. They are growing more independant everyday. It is only recently that I have condidered the prospect of marriage again. It is however very diffiecult to find a widower because unfortunalty the widows tend to exceed the widowers, and I feel I am unevenly yoked now. It is a sad time, maybe some of my Christian awesome friends could come with some ideas for me. At 37 I don't want to be alone for ever!
Do looks matter?
If not do I ever know a guy for you....
Just a joke. I do know a few unmarried men either slightly or a fair bit older than one. Come to think of it, one of them likes the Southeast Asian look. So maybe I know two single men who are looking. None of them have ever been divorced.