Now we know why, when Jesus taught about marriage and divorce, the disciples said, "If this is the way it is, it would be better to never get married!" Jesus said that it was a hard teaching, and for those who can accept it.
But I find it interesting that when Jesus spoke to the Samaritan woman at the well and mentioned her 5 ex-husbands and current boyfriend, he spoke about her personal life as fact but yet, didn't make a big deal out of it. His main objective was to reassure her that He was the Messiah.
I've always wondered, if she (and maybe she did but it wasn't recorded) asked Him what she needed to do in order to get her life right, would she have to A. dump the current boyfriend and live alone forever, or B. marry the current boyfriend (or supposedly "correct" man who came along.)
I know this is a serious subject but I do think a lot of believers speak about it as if the majority of us take the subject lightly, and we don't. I don't know too many, if any, divorced Christians who married with the thought of getting divorced. Life, unfortunately, is messy.
To be bluntly honest, having "well-meaning, Biblical Christians" tell me I could never marry again or I would be committing adultery when I was 25 years old made me want to commit suicide (and I eventually did wind up in the hospital for a week--I felt I had no hope and no way out.) Please think about being told that you WILL ALWAYS BE ALONE AND CAN NEVER HAVE A RELATIONSHIP EVER AGAIN. YOU MUST LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE ALONE IN ORDER TO PLEASE GOD, WHO LOVES YOU!!!
At the time, I had no Biblical reasons for my divorce. I didn't consider him to be a complete unbeliever and I had no proof of adultery. It wasn't until a year later that I found out he had had a girlfriend. But at the time, I had nothing. I came home from work one day and half the house was gone. He had moved out without telling me anything. A few weeks later, I got papers in the mail that said, "YOU ARE BEING SUED FOR DIVORCE."
And the good church folk were all to ready to tell me how terrible it is that no one takes marriage seriously, that everyone gives up too easily, that people should try harder (we had tried all we knew to do, including several counselors) and if these weak-willed people should, gasp, remarry, they are nothing but sinful adulterers!! Maybe it's all true in every case. Maybe God really does want me and every other divorced person to be alone the rest of our lives and never remarry (after all, I've pretty much been alone almost all this time, and it's been 13 years.)
But please, don't think we don't take it lightly or that we purposely mock God's commands. In fact, I used to be a lot like this before I got married... a little too judgmental of other people's failures. I have often wondered if one of the reasons my own divorce happened was to smack down my own self-righteous thinking (NOT to say that Niceguy is trying to be self-righteous at all... I just know that in my case, I judged others a little to harshly, I think.) The letter of the law kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Funny how life has a way of teaching you to take your own medicine.
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