This might not be entirely fair but, I've made an observation over the course of the last year. Its about Trust and Family and Adventure.
I used to think that the girl I was going to get to Travel and Ski and Learn new things and push boundaries was the same girl who was experimenting with Tattoos or had a shady past. But thats not the same kind of boundaries that get pushed with me so they don't feel safe. Like if these were pushed out of rebellion to her parents, why on earth would she feel okay going to Mexico with me?
I believed that Traditional meant fearful of anything outside of previous experience. If I pulled up on a Motorcycle who was going to get on the back? Well, not suzy the knitter, cause she never leaves the house. But its the Never leaves the house part, not the Traditional Part that kills me.
But in my experience the best predictor of whether or not a girl will accept my offer to go off on some adventure, is the relationship she has with her father.
If her father was an Amazing man, a leader, a teacher, a prayer warrior, a survivalist, a missionary, a provider, a confidante, and all that wrapped up into one. If this was the case then She can trust me. If her father took her out to let her push the boundaries of what life was about, like camping, hiking, swimming, exploring, and in general understanding her own power, then she already knows that she is capable of overcoming obstacles and adapting to the situation.
When someone sees a challenge and says, "I can't do this." They have already been defeated. Such a person shouldn't date me. I'm only going to frustrate them, make them feel anxious, fearful, inadequate or self conscious all the time.
When someone sees a challenge and says, "I will do this." Then I don't have to dispel their fear, overcome their doubt, and massage their courage. We can just take it on together.
