Boyfriend is a Compulsive Liar

[Keezer29]

Hey everybody, I've been having such a struggle in my life lately... My boyfriend is Cody, we talked and hung out for a few months before dating, our best friend Devin kind of "pushed" us together. Four days after Cody and I decided to be in a relationship, our best friend Devy was in a car accident and passed away.. It was such a struggle for the both of us, the hardest time of our lives (we are 17 and 18). Losing our best friend brought us closer, we were there for each other. But a few months back I realized Cody has a compulsive lying problem. We've been through countless arguments, and each time he tells me that this time he will change. I have noticed him making progress.. in one situation he told me half of the truth, but I think before he would not have told me at all so I took that to mean he really is trying. Just tonight I found out that he stole a shirt of mine, he has the same one but lost his, and I know it is mine because I took the sides in (I'm so tiny I never fit t-shirts). He cut the sleeves and sides out but at the very bottom of the shirt you can still see where I stitched. I asked him about it and he denied that it was mine and gave me a story that just does not make sense. I always pray for him, I go to church regularly and always ask him to come, he says he will one day. I don't know if I am wasting my time with him? How do I know if all of this is wrong? Does God want me in a relationship with a compulsive liar? any advice would be greatly appreciated

 

[Saul_Durian]

Do you want my honest opinion?


I say forget about him. It is going to be more trouble then it is worth. And if you don't have matching spiritual beliefs, then that is going to be even harder.

Sure, I should say "bring him to Jesus" or whatever. But that just can't be done with everybody. And if he is lying and stealing from you. He doesn't respect you. If he doesn't respect you about little stuff, he won't respect you with big stuff either.

But that is my personal opinion, from experience mostly.

But center yourself, pray on it. Listen to your heart. Not some random guy on the internet.

 

[Crimeny]

look for Jesus for answers and continuous prayer does help, you should also try to get your boyfriend to go to you to church, seek God and Jesus first and they can help so much, i hope your relationship may get better maam Jesus bless you! Also love overcomes most of those things, it is a warm thing that just defeats all bad..

 

[Johnxxxx]

Compulsive liars can be tricky, they lie even when it's easier to tell the truth. And often times they can lie so efficiently that you'd never believe they were lying. The can lie so hard that they may even be able to pass a polygraph test. Being in a relationship with someone like this can be fine, if you're willing to put up with it.

But know that absolutely everything he says, every "I love you", ever "I'll change", may very well be a bald faced lie.

 

[Ugly]

So the guy isn't a Christian. He lies to you. Steals from you. You can't trust him at all. In any area of his life. And then you say 'how do i know if this is wrong' and 'does God want me in this relationship'? Really?
How much sin does he have to choose to live in and how badly treated do you have to be to realize he's no good and God isn't part of this? You really believe God is leading you to be with a non-Christian thief and liar. And who knows what else he may be involved in that you don't even know about. If he's willing to lie when the evidence is right there against him what else is he lying about that you don't even suspect is going on? And how much worse things will he do in the future as he gets more comfortable with you?
My suggestion, use the common sense God gave you and get rid of this guy before he screws your life up.

 

[SpaceCowboy]

Forgive him. Dump him. Move on.

 

[Keezer29]

I am the only person who has stuck by him this long. Do not get me wrong, I don't feel he has excuses for lying. What I am thinking is, nobody else will help him. I know that he has all the potential to be good, he is a good person who messes up often. God would never lead us where his grace wouldn't protect us, so I want to lead him to Christ. I think that I can do it. Even if it means that I am going to be hurt along the way, seeing him in Heaven someday is the big picture. Everyone deserves to have the love of God in their life, some just need a little more help getting there than others. And of course they need the people who love them enough to help them get there. Agreed?

 

[Ugly]

That doesn't mean you have to date him.
But who knows, maybe him standing there by himself because he has no friends left is what makes him change.
And God will not lead you to 'missionary date'.
Also you need to think this all the way through. If you choose to 'missionary date' how far are you willing to go with that? Months? Years? Marriage? And what about the witness to other people? What if you choose to stay in a relationship like this, how will this look to others who see you allow yourself to be in this position. How much worse treatment are you willing to endure to stay with him?
Personally i think you're letting your emotions and feelings get in the way, at least thats what it sounds like from my perspective. I don't see God putting you in a situation like that under the false guise of 'missionary dating'.

 

[UnkownSaint]

i agree with ugly, took the words right out of my mouth

 

[iAngel16]

you guys can still be friends but i wouldnt recommend getting into a relationship w/ someone like that. he has his own problems he needs to figure out and untill then just try your best to be a good friend by bringing him to christ.

 

[BlueAngel]

I've been there... I had to stop the relationship, and I know that's hard... If you need someone to talk to about this, I'm avaiable, feel free to PM me

 

[Brandon777]

I think most people want to be better and fail at one point or another. Why not ask him why he lies to you? Does he not trust you, or is it that he finds lying more convenient to get his way with people? DO NOT attempt to stay in the relationship so you can help him, that will cause co-dependency (something bad). If you want to stay with him, which I'm not saying you do, then pray WITH him and see his reaction. If he will not PRAY with you, then he's not good enough to be you're boyfriend and you're avoiding a lot of trouble for yourself. If he's not saved, explain the gospel to him (unless he already knows) in that case break up with him because he is a very evil person. Jesus said to his disciples to spread the gospel to people in different specific cities, and he said if the gospel is preached and no one takes you in to house you after being converted, then wipe your feet of that place as you leave because it is better on Judgement Day for the people of Sodom and Gomorrah (the cities that were so corrupt that God rained down fire and brimstone to bury the city)

If he IS willing to pray with you, then there's good hope for him and you can later see if he's willing to read the Bible with you. If you're obsessed with God yourself, then you will be significantly concerned about the spiritual standing of the people you date. Plus the Bible says not to marry an unbeliever.

 

[ginger1020]

Keezer:

Pray, Pray, Pray for GOD's guidance. Read 2nd Corinthians Chapter 6 verses: 14 -18. You can plant the seed. Do not let him distract you from the truth or from God->God is first. Do not force the issue
on him. Let him know that you do care for him and that you are a Christian and as such Christ comes
first in your life and if he doesn't have a BIBLE maybe you can give him one as a gift. Then give him some scripture verses that has helped you through difficult times.

God Bless and Keep You!!

 

[Lucy68]

Do you really want to be in a serious relationship with someone that you cannot trust? Trust is 99% of ANY good relationship.

By all means be his friend. But don't give him your heart until he has changed. You will wind up very hurt and bitter.