Im looking for Good Advice

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Colt45Bullet

Guest
#41
Its hard standing alone. I know God is there, but why wont He put someone in my life
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#42
He does.
We aren't meant to walk this world alone. Even Jesys had his disciples. Patience child :)
 
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Colt45Bullet

Guest
#43
I have been patient for 17 years. Everyone always leaves me
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#44
Yes and everyone also leaves me.
When I first came I made my introductory thread and I was totally suprised people answered because no one ever cared to answer with me.
But God always gives you what you need
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#45
The bible says "Give and shall be Given to you." I gave everything to her. My love, heart, and trust, but she trashed it and threw it back to me.
There is a reason why she did that. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship, maybe she's not on the right path with God. Maybe she's just scared. God is trying to teach you both a lesson from this situation but YOU are being a numb skull about it! You need to realize that it is beyond your capacity to help her anymore. Turn her over to God and stop hindering his work. You can't help, you can't fix her and you can't save her. Only GOD can do that. And you're getting in His way.

I was in a relationship for 10 years, from 1997 to 2006, and it literally ended almost as soon as it began. He had been abandoned by family and friends, and he ended up going to prison for most of that 10 years. I vowed to be the one person to stick by him no matter what, and I did. I accepted phone calls, wrote him letters. All along, he was also writing to several ex-girlfriends as well as me, but I didn't know that at the time. Long story short, I thought I could help him, that I could fix him and be there for him. But after he got out in 2006, we got back together for 2 weeks, then he informed me that he was still in love with an ex and wanted to get her back even though she had a bf at the time. So we broke up, because I realized that he hadn't changed at all even though he swore he had. I realized that I couldn't help him or fix him or be there anymore for him. I cut off all contact with him, and haven't seen him but once in the last 10 years. He ended up back in and out of jail so his stupid butt STILL hasn't changed..

I wish I hadn't wasted 10 years of my life on this guy, waiting and hoping that he'd realize I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Please don't follow in my footsteps with this girl. You've got to let her go, Colt. You just have to give her to God.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#46
I have been patient for 17 years. Everyone always leaves me
Kiddo, you haven't even lived life yet!! You are 17, and there are going to be ALOT of girls who will use you up and hurt you. That is inevitable. However it IS avoidable. You're trying to control where your life goes with this girl. YOU are in control of NOTHING that happens in your life. None of us are. GOD is in control of what happens to us. When the time is right, he will send you someone and you will KNOW that she is the one. Until then, he will place people in your life to teach you lessons. It's up to you how easily or difficult it will be to learn them. The more stubborn you are, the harder the lesson you will learn. The more compliant you are to God's will, the easier it will be. Now move your prideful stubborn self out of God's way. :)
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#47
There is a reason why she did that. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship, maybe she's not on the right path with God. Maybe she's just scared. God is trying to teach you both a lesson from this situation but YOU are being a numb skull about it! You need to realize that it is beyond your capacity to help her anymore. Turn her over to God and stop hindering his work. You can't help, you can't fix her and you can't save her. Only GOD can do that. And you're getting in His way.

I was in a relationship for 10 years, from 1997 to 2006, and it literally ended almost as soon as it began. He had been abandoned by family and friends, and he ended up going to prison for most of that 10 years. I vowed to be the one person to stick by him no matter what, and I did. I accepted phone calls, wrote him letters. All along, he was also writing to several ex-girlfriends as well as me, but I didn't know that at the time. Long story short, I thought I could help him, that I could fix him and be there for him. But after he got out in 2006, we got back together for 2 weeks, then he informed me that he was still in love with an ex and wanted to get her back even though she had a bf at the time. So we broke up, because I realized that he hadn't changed at all even though he swore he had. I realized that I couldn't help him or fix him or be there anymore for him. I cut off all contact with him, and haven't seen him but once in the last 10 years. He ended up back in and out of jail so his stupid butt STILL hasn't changed..

I wish I hadn't wasted 10 years of my life on this guy, waiting and hoping that he'd realize I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Please don't follow in my footsteps with this girl. You've got to let her go, Colt. You just have to give her to God.
Wow tell it as it is (applause )
It's not bad haha I'm glad you do that cuz I don't haha
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#48
I don't post these threads asking for help much. It feels like Im a burden to others, but I really need help on this one.
Alright, so, this girl that I know. We dated for about a year, then she broke up with me because she said God told her too, however, the more I talked to her about it, it turns out she left me because it got too hard, and then she told me she never wants to hear from me again because her friends think I am a bad influence on her life. That destroyed my heart. After that, she said that she still loved me, and had a special place in her heart for me, but I wasnt worth the pain or the time. Keep in mind, she claims to be a Christian.
P.S. She goes to some summer camp, which she says she only goes to so she can build a relationship with Christ, but whenever she comes back, she always says how she met amazing people, and gave them her number and all that.
Honestly, I wish I went through this at 17 and not later in life.

It's hard to hear now, but she isn't worth emotional effort at this point. Don't internalize it and make it a referendum on you. I mean sure, some aspects of you may have turned her off over time, but that's probably her preferences more than any awful character flaw. In fact, somebody else may be attracted to you later on based on the things that bother her.

Take it like a man, smile and keep searching. You'll quickly find there are plenty of fish in the sea.
 
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blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#49
Wow tell it as it is (applause )
It's not bad haha I'm glad you do that cuz I don't haha

I ALWAYS tell it like it is. People don't always like it, but I tell them what they NEED to hear, and not a sugar coated version of what they WANT to hear. :)
 

SS4_Goku

Junior Member
May 14, 2002
7
2
3
#50
Dude you're only like what 17 you shouldn't be crying over relationships anyways forgive me for being harsh sounding. Enjoy the teen years while you can because I can tell you generally a lot of teenage girls like to play games. Because if she's going to church camp and talking about what amazing people she's met and how many times she could give her number out to a guy that shows her true intentions right there I can tell you from experience when I went to teen Church camp I didn't go just as spiritually grow I went to see if I could get a girlfriend within a week I went for the entirely wrong reasons had I paid attention I would have been better prepared for what was getting ready to happen down the road. I'm not saying you can't have a girlfriend at seventeen, I'm saying you just shouldn't be focusing your life on 1 girl.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#51
I ALWAYS tell it like it is. People don't always like it, but I tell them what they NEED to hear, and not a sugar coated version of what they WANT to hear. :)
I know that's good :p
 
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MadParrotWoman

Guest
#52
There is a reason why she did that. Maybe she's not ready for a relationship, maybe she's not on the right path with God. Maybe she's just scared. God is trying to teach you both a lesson from this situation but YOU are being a numb skull about it! You need to realize that it is beyond your capacity to help her anymore. Turn her over to God and stop hindering his work. You can't help, you can't fix her and you can't save her. Only GOD can do that. And you're getting in His way.

I was in a relationship for 10 years, from 1997 to 2006, and it literally ended almost as soon as it began. He had been abandoned by family and friends, and he ended up going to prison for most of that 10 years. I vowed to be the one person to stick by him no matter what, and I did. I accepted phone calls, wrote him letters. All along, he was also writing to several ex-girlfriends as well as me, but I didn't know that at the time. Long story short, I thought I could help him, that I could fix him and be there for him. But after he got out in 2006, we got back together for 2 weeks, then he informed me that he was still in love with an ex and wanted to get her back even though she had a bf at the time. So we broke up, because I realized that he hadn't changed at all even though he swore he had. I realized that I couldn't help him or fix him or be there anymore for him. I cut off all contact with him, and haven't seen him but once in the last 10 years. He ended up back in and out of jail so his stupid butt STILL hasn't changed..

I wish I hadn't wasted 10 years of my life on this guy, waiting and hoping that he'd realize I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Please don't follow in my footsteps with this girl. You've got to let her go, Colt. You just have to give her to God.
You would do well to take heed of Lady blue's words, she is a wise lady.
 

Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
838
113
#55
Oh! And if you're looking for advice, I suggest looking for a mentor about 20 years your senior (10 is a little too close in age) and listening to what he has to say on these matters.

Particularly one in a professional field you're interested. Two birds, one stone.
 

HS

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2016
672
11
18
#56
Colt I'm just going to pray for you.
Lord Jesus help Colt overcome the pain he feels after this breakup. Bring your peace and healing upon him Lord. Show him that your love O Lord is the most important love. Make him feel more of worth Lord. Thank you Jesus.
Also I pray for his ex. May you take care of her Lord. Draw her to You Lord.
In all this may Your will be done. In the name of Jesus amen.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#57
The bible says "Give and shall be Given to you." I gave everything to her. My love, heart, and trust, but she trashed it and threw it back to me.
And what did Jesus say to do when you are trashed?

Something about kicking dust off sandals, right? Why? Because it's a good idea when you're walking away. Far better than sticking with the dirt left over on your shoes.

It seems you're stuck on this girl. And now you don't know what to do. No where does it say "keep taking it." Sure we give, but when it's thrown back at us, we don't keep tossing it back. It's not Hot Potato. (Well, we shouldn't. Obviously I'm not the shiny example.)

Sometimes love is praying God has mercy on that person too. When the person doesn't hear you, what else is there to do? Find someone who thinks you're worth it, and until that person comes along, keep on doing God's work while living your life.

Sounds like you thought she was the one. The One does not trash you. Hint number two on who is The One. (Hint number one is that person truly wants to follow God. Lip service without action tends to prove that's not The One either.)

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat as necessary. And when God's ready for getting you back up on your feet, you can either refuse him, until he yanks you up anyway, or take his offered hand to get up. Either way, remember he's the focus again, and all of that confusion you have in your mind goes away enough that you remember the focus and then remember what you're supposed to do. You did what you were supposed to do before, so you will remember again.

Nothing wrong with you. You're feeling the sting of the end of a relationship. Refocus on God again, and the brain returns. (Good emotions may take a bit longer to return, but they do come back.)
 
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Depleted

Guest
#58
Its hard standing alone. I know God is there, but why wont He put someone in my life
You don't have any family? You don't have friends? You don't have a church family? You're right. Standing alone, even with God, is hard. At your age, you shouldn't be alone though. You probably aren't. Not having a girlfriend is vastly different than being all alone.
 
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Depleted

Guest
#59
I have been patient for 17 years. Everyone always leaves me
You were looking for The One at in your diapers? Yike!!!

Wait another year or two, because you're the one who will be leaving. That's part of growing up. Yeah, people leave. And then new people come. Life works like that. It doesn't change 17 years from now or 17 years after that. That's a constant for most people. People come and then they go. You come and then go.
 

Corbinscam

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2016
560
35
28
#60
there are hundreds of ways to live life to the fullest that don't involve sin. find a hobby and throw yourself into it, study the bible, read, expand your mind, if you know what you want to do in the future...study that now, find decent friends and hang out with them, mow your neighbors yard, get a job, donate your time to a shelter...literally there are so many things to do that wont screw up your life.

But, forget this girl. Be kind. Be Christlike. But walk away from her. If you still love her in 3 or so years and shes settled down and isn't semi explosive...then consider a relationship. If you hang on to her you may miss a lot that God has planned for you and you may screw up your life because you "love" her.
 
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