I can't go on

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Tinker

Guest
#1
#1
Hi. I have a little problem. My boyfriend and I were having some problems and we talked about it. He came over this weekend and everything went great. We were hoping to get married and start a family. We have been together for 2 years and 6 months. Well, his best friends mom wouldn't let see my boyfriend. Well, today she came and picked him up for church. They hugged because they haven't seen each other in a pretty long while. My dad swears up and down that they kissed each other. I know his best friend pretty good and I also know that she would do that to me or my boyfriend. My dad said that he can't come back over and I can't go back to his house. I don't think it's fair. My friend is not a player and neither is his best friend. Right now, I really don't feel like living my life without my boyfriend. We both have actually fallen in love for one another. He doesnt' want to live either. Things will never be the same again. I just want to self-harm and just be dead for the rest of my life. I feel like running away from home and never returning. I was fine until this had to happen. Before my bf actually left my house, we kissed more than once. I've known him long enough to know what he will or won't do. I know for thing, he won't betray me for another girl. Now our dreams are just fairy tales and probably won't happen now. If someone can give me answers, that will probably help out a whole lot. I can't keep feeling like this
 
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JMans1187

Guest
#2
#2
First! Harming yourself is NOT the answer! Second! If you truely love one another, you will come back to eachother!

I am going through a though siutuation with my bf as well! We were addicts who needed help, so we both moved back home to our parents houses, knowing we wouldnt be able to see eachother! It was hard at first, I was used to waking up every morning to him next to me! His parents thought I was the bad influence, as My father though he was the bad influence. So it was almost impossible to see eachother! We talke on the phone, or wrote eachother on myspace everyday! When our parents saw how devoted we were to eachother, and how we are trying to help eachother over come our addictions together, they lightened up! 3 weeks ago, a week after we both moved home, I found out I was pregnant! So now Im pregnant and never see the one I need beside me! We have built trust in our parents, and now get to see eachother once a week! Mind you I am 23 and he's almost 25, and we still have to follow the house rules! But it has made us stronger as a couple and as a team! I hope everything works out for you! Absence makes the heart grow fonder! Be patient with your father, show him love and kindness even when it's hard! It worked on my daddy and he's a tough brick to break!
 
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Tinker

Guest
#3
#3
I can't show love to my father. He's done bad things to me in my life
 
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JMans1187

Guest
#4
#4
Jesus says to forgive! Forgiveness is a hard thing to do sometimes! Look up on youtube the I Am Second videos! They are different people who suffered from different things in their lives and how they let God take over! I'm trying to find the one about the man and his father for you, I will keep looking, but watch the others too!

My father and my step mom took my 2 kids from me 2 years ago! I thought I could never forgive them for what they did! They gave false reports because they were mad I moved out with my babies! I got heavy into drugs, lost my way! But Im back on track now, pregnant and getting my kids back, and spend time with my dad every week! Jesus forgave us for our sins, we need to be like him and forgive others too!


Matthew 18:21-35
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,580
4,269
113
#5
Tinker said:
Hi. I have a little problem. My boyfriend and I were having some problems and we talked about it. He came over this weekend and everything went great. We were hoping to get married and start a family. We have been together for 2 years and 6 months. Well, his best friends mom wouldn't let see my boyfriend. Well, today she came and picked him up for church. They hugged because they haven't seen each other in a pretty long while. My dad swears up and down that they kissed each other. I know his best friend pretty good and I also know that she would do that to me or my boyfriend. My dad said that he can't come back over and I can't go back to his house. I don't think it's fair. My friend is not a player and neither is his best friend. Right now, I really don't feel like living my life without my boyfriend. We both have actually fallen in love for one another. He doesnt' want to live either. Things will never be the same again. I just want to self-harm and just be dead for the rest of my life. I feel like running away from home and never returning. I was fine until this had to happen. Before my bf actually left my house, we kissed more than once. I've known him long enough to know what he will or won't do. I know for thing, he won't betray me for another girl. Now our dreams are just fairy tales and probably won't happen now. If someone can give me answers, that will probably help out a whole lot. I can't keep feeling like this
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So let me get this straight..you are saying that your dad said your boyfriend kissed his best friend's mom at your house and so now your dad forbids u to ever see him again?

Either your dad is lying through his teeth or your bf is one very creepy guy...OR... it wasn't really what ur dad thinks he saw. If i were u I would call ur bf and ask him what went on between him and his best friends mom when she came to pick him up. You might not want to actually mention the kissing or anything about your dad. Just see what he says. Maybe there is a simple explanation.

In any case, cutting or harming yourself is not going to help the situation. Have u gotten any professional counseling either in person or online for that? If not, I strongly suggest getting some ASAP. You can find a lot of helpful resources online, and maybe even free online counseling.

I wish u the best and pray that you stop cutting yourself and that the truth in this matter is resolved quickly.
 
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godsbluesman

Guest
#6
#6
what is with kids and cutting these days-sorry if I offend antone but this really is a STUPID,SELFISH trend! how is hurting onesself gonna help anything? I just cant believe some of the things I read about this-does this give you some sort of solace? How do you think this affects others? Jesus endured all that pain,suffering and humiliation for us already.Plus you do this over a boyfreind! what the?! grow up!!!!!
 
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Tinker

Guest
#7
#7
No Zero, it's my boyfriends best friend.
 
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Tinker

Guest
#8
#8
Okay Godsbluesman, I don't just cut over my boyfriend. There's various reasons.
 
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ClareMarie

Guest
#9
#9
I think you should talk to your boyfriend and if he tells you that what your father saw was not what happened and you believe him then you should stay together but talk to you dad, maybe if he did make it up he has other reasons for you not wanting you to see this boy, or maybe he is just worried about his baby girl leaving home or maybe they did kiss, there are a million possibilities, you just need to talk it out and find out the true story. and if you and you bf dont get back then you know that it wasn't meant to be.
 
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Chrissy85

Member
#10
Nov 2, 2009
53
1
8
#10
godsbluesman said:
what is with kids and cutting these days-sorry if I offend antone but this really is a STUPID,SELFISH trend! how is hurting onesself gonna help anything? I just cant believe some of the things I read about this-does this give you some sort of solace? How do you think this affects others? Jesus endured all that pain,suffering and humiliation for us already.Plus you do this over a boyfreind! what the?! grow up!!!!!
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Cutting or any form of self harm is normally a mental issue and a way to deal with pain of the heart. It is different for each person. I have never done it myself, but was offended by your lack of sensitivity to this issue. Often its a visual way for someone to ask for help when they are messed up and don't know how.

I'm not saying this is the case with the person here, sorry i forgot your name, and as i said before everyone is different.

You are right in a sense that it is a 'stupid' thing. If you are of sound mind and heart, then it makes no sense what so ever. However, it's not those of a sound mind and heart, that are close to Gods heart, that find themselves self harming. I'm not saying they have an ongoing mental health issue, but different things in life, such as abuse from a parent, can leave mental, social, emotional, and physical scarring that without healing leaves a person in a state where they need help.

Disclaimer - this is all my own opinion, which may or may not be medical fact, but from my experience seems to be the case :)
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#11
#11
Tinker said:
Hi. I have a little problem. My boyfriend and I were having some problems and we talked about it. He came over this weekend and everything went great. We were hoping to get married and start a family. We have been together for 2 years and 6 months. Well, his best friends mom wouldn't let see my boyfriend. Well, today she came and picked him up for church. They hugged because they haven't seen each other in a pretty long while. My dad swears up and down that they kissed each other. I know his best friend pretty good and I also know that she would do that to me or my boyfriend. My dad said that he can't come back over and I can't go back to his house. I don't think it's fair. My friend is not a player and neither is his best friend. Right now, I really don't feel like living my life without my boyfriend. We both have actually fallen in love for one another. He doesnt' want to live either. Things will never be the same again. I just want to self-harm and just be dead for the rest of my life. I feel like running away from home and never returning. I was fine until this had to happen. Before my bf actually left my house, we kissed more than once. I've known him long enough to know what he will or won't do. I know for thing, he won't betray me for another girl. Now our dreams are just fairy tales and probably won't happen now. If someone can give me answers, that will probably help out a whole lot. I can't keep feeling like this
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aww tinker im really sorry to hear about all of this! I understand how upset you are i've been there.

you are 19 years old, and your gonna be getting older. How can your parents stop you from seeing someone, your basically an adult.
 
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Tinker

Guest
#12
#12
My dad thinks he runs my life. I can't even go to college for what I want to do
 
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jimmydiggs

Guest
#13
#13
Tinker said:
My dad thinks he runs my life. I can't even go to college for what I want to do
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That sucks.


As a response to godsbluesman, I think the cutting thing depends on the person. Some people do it for attention, for some it's a fad, and for some I think it became a coping mechanism/habit. In spite of that, I do not think it is a good thing. It is something that shouldn't be promoted at all. Which i is highly promoted by society through fashion trends/fads. A bit upsetting to me.


EDIT: Oh, and suicide is never the option.
 
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nanabean

Guest
#14
#14
Ok...I think I am as confused as Zeroturbulence....and as concerned as Godsbluesman......

Reading (and rereading!!) your original post, Tinker, I am very confused as to who your dad is saying your boyfriend kissed......but any way I look at it, I see this as being between you and your boyfriend, with a respect for your dad's concern for your protection. What I mean by this is that ultimately you are the one who has to figure things out with your boyfriend, but the fact that your dad cares enough to let you know what he feels he seen happening, should be respected. I have always said that open, honest communication is key in any relationship and in every given situation as well. Talk, talk, talk...with both "men" in your life..and also take it to God in prayer!!

While I am as concerned as what I feel Godsbluesman is trying to communicate though his post, I would like to offer my concern in....gentler terms?? I don't think I understand cutting exactly.....it is not something (thankfully) I have had any type of experience with. It seems to me to be something you would need counseloring for......as Zeroturbulence mentioned. Having said that, I am NOT a counselor, of any kind, I am "just" a mom.....but I do care about teens and will keep you in my prayers. As for answers....I am so sorry, I haven't answers for your particular situation, other than to say again...talk, talk, talk, and you will find your answers. Growing up is not always as easy as it seems it SHOULD be, but the future is good.....it is not always about what we go through, as much as it is about how we get through it!!!

God Bless you.....I will pray.......
 
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Tinker

Guest
#15
#15
My boyfriend has a best friend that is a girl. The girl is who I was referring to. Yall get it now?
 
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Tinker

Guest
#16
#16
Nanabean, cutting is a type of self-harm. In other words, I cut my arms and wrists on purpose to relieve the pain and hatred that I have inside my body. I'm not mental by a long shot. I really don't do it to get attention either. I just don't think that my life is meant for me and yes I have tried to commit suicide
 
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Tinker

Guest
#17
#17
Godsblue, how were you offended by my post?
 
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nanabean

Guest
#18
#18
Tinker said:
My boyfriend has a best friend that is a girl. The girl is who I was referring to. Yall get it now?
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Tinker said:
Nanabean, cutting is a type of self-harm. In other words, I cut my arms and wrists on purpose to relieve the pain and hatred that I have inside my body. I'm not mental by a long shot. I really don't do it to get attention either. I just don't think that my life is meant for me and yes I have tried to commit suicide
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Hi Tinker......

YOU should be your boyfriends best friend......if you are in love and wanting to be married etc...but I will leave that be, ..... I think I "get it" now as to who is who in your post. I stand by my earlier suggestion of talking to each your boyfriend and your dad.

As far as the cutting is concerned, (and I AM concerned about this new "trend" more and more teens seem to be pulled towards doing) I understand WHAT it is, I just do not understand the .... draw?? the want?? the reasonings behind the actions. Same as saying I don't understand suicide. I know what suicide is..I just don't understand even a consideration of doing such a completely final and ending act. And without having any education in physcology, I am very unable to give advice. In saying this, I am not suggesting that you are mental either.....but I do think you need counseling, from someone who can properly see you through whatever it is that makes you feel any "need" to cut, or....hurt yourself in any way. Please know you are in my prayers.........
 
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seeker7

Guest
#19
#19
Hey Tinker,

First of all we have talked a little before, and you are intelligent and very sweet. I will get to the point. Hurting yourself is not going to help. If you need someone to talk with I am listening. I have gone through some things, and no always got along with my parents growing up. I know it is tough what you are going through losing that relationship, but do not give up. I am going to bed but I will pray and get back with you ok.
 
haley4jesus

haley4jesus

Junior Member
#20
Jul 28, 2009
28
0
0
#20
There is so much more going on here than just a boyfriend who may or may not be trustworthy. Parents are people we should be able to trust above anyone. What parent would wish to hurt their child in anyway. I know anything my parents have ever done or said to me has been to my benefit and wellbeing. If your father has been unkind to you in the past and inappropriate things have taken place, then maybe it is time you remove yourself from his home. You are old enough to be on your own. And if you aren't emotionally and financially able to do that then you may need to seek for help elsewhere. If you let me know which city you live in I can help you find an establishment that may be able to provide you with what you need. People who cut themselves are not normally cutting themself over what just happened but deeper buried hurts and issues. And for all you others, please cut out the really unkind remarks. Most people who are cutters do it for reasons you may not be able to comprehend because you may not have experienced the horrors they have lived through. Christ died for us and set an example for us to live and be. Compassion is one of those characteristics.
 
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