Of course I have issues with you. You play the same old tune every time and I won't dance to it! There's no spirit of love and humility from you, no compassion in trying to understand the perspective of those dangerous womens, yo. I think we're all on the same page wanting everyone to dress more modestly and to respect each other and themselves but you're going the wrong way about it, bud.
Well, the same ole tune has been working pretty well because some of posters here and in the past have been helping me understand different perspectives.
Here, I'm going to do this more so for me than for you. So its known that you are wrong and I'm right. I do humbly accept other people's perspective and I do compassionately consider others.
Post #89
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Originally Posted by
Wandering_Here
Hmm. I get the feeling that you're taking this particular sin personally. You like a girl, see that she dresses in a way that is not appropriate and you're angry with her for that? So she's not the girl for you, accept it and move on. You're not going to change women by ranting at them.
How are you being an example of modesty? Are you walking the walk, wearing a shirt and long shorts to those Californian beaches?
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Me: I suppose that's wrong of me. You'd be right.
Actually... the only change that can happen socially IS by "ranting" or better yet talking about it. haha
I actually thought about and like the idea of wearing a shirt at the beach just in-case. I don't go to the beach often but I wouldn't be against wearing a shirt for the sake of women.
All that being said, immodesty is still on the table and it should be looked down upon and "thrown away."
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Post #45
Originally Posted by
gypsygirl
calmador,
well, i know of a few places where you'll find lots of modesty, and many, many burqas. seriously, though...
if there are women that you know who dress that way and have a good relationship with them, maybe you should share your thoughts in a loving way. have you considered the thought that they simply don't know any better? that they are living what they think is what is expected of them, or the standard for which they measure themselves against?
i wasn't raised with values of modesty, but rather, the opposite. i was taught that it was "stupid to cover up what God gave me". i was that a woman's value is first and foremost, what can be seen.
i would encourage you to think about the fact that girls who dress that way are usually doing so because they've been taught that it is either acceptable, or even ideal. they're trying to measure up to what the world says women should be--to be seen of value by the primary currency our world respects. and once you've been doing that for a bit, you really don't even think about it any more.
when i see women who are walking in walmart with their chest jacked up to their chin and wearing tiny shorts, i say a prayer for them. i actually hurt for them, because i have a notion of what it feels like to be in their shoes, and believe that this is their path to acceptance and value.
so many women are so needy for attention and validation they are seeking it in what is probably the most natural way for them to get it. and the world applauds that. the world not only teaches it, but it has so pervasively made female beauty the measuring stick of women's value, that in this day and age, you have to almost have a rebellious spirit (or a very strong faith) to reject it that path.
if you want to know the truth, it takes courage and a lot of self-respect for women not to play that card in this world--especially for young women who are more subject to peer pressure and the very visually-driven social media-crazy world we live in. it's SO much easier to conform to the worlds' standards, especially if you've experienced that kind of validation before.
as a christian, when i grew in spiritual maturity, i radically changed how i dressed because i know it pleases God to respect ourselves, our bodies and to honor him with our words and actions, show loving support to our brothers, as well as preserve our testimony. today, i cringe when i think about how i used to dress --but that feels like a lifetime ago. but just like you, we are all on a path to becoming more christ-like.
before you get angry next time, please think about the soul of that woman. if she's a christian, she's still learning about spiritual maturity and how to separate from the world and it's standards. i would even challenge you to pray for that woman, because she needs to be viewed through the lens of mercy, grace and acceptance, just like i did, and just like you do.
and if that woman isn't a christian, i hope that you can see beyond her bikini, and see her as a truly lost soul. because if we were all just as lost as she is, the very last thing on our minds would be modesty, and it would be the least of our problems.
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Me: Thank for saying all that. It helps brings things in perspective. However, I don't think it justifies it or makes it okay. Regardless of anything, immodesty is wrong.
^^^ This post especially helped me be see more of the picture. I still don't think your justified to do evil but I feel the struggle of these women in particular more so because I also felt a struggle about per-maritial sex. I was pressured to think it was masculine to have sex with women before marriage.
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Post #64
Originally Posted by
ChandlerFan
I understand where you're coming from with your original post and everything, but I would say that as men, our focus needs to be on addressing the problems on our side of things related to this issue. To be first to speak to the women implies, whether intentionally or not, that we're doing everything right and that the women need to shape up when in reality that's not the case. So for us as men, let's focus on how we can better keep our minds, hearts, and eyes in check. That's something that I fail at way more often than I should, and I need to be better as I think we all need to be. You're not wrong that there are women out there, Christian women even, who don't dress in a way that honors themselves or their brothers, but that doesn't mean we are incapable of still acting and thinking in a way that is honoring to them, and that's where our focus needs to be. And then I would simply encourage the women to have loving conversations where they need to be had when they see a sister not dressed in an honorable way. That way there is a lot less cross-gender finger-pointing and both sides are pursuing righteousness.
I would also caution against immediately judging all of a woman's character based on her dress because that judgment probably won't be entirely accurate. You know, don't judge a book by its cover, or lack thereof
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Me: Maybe your right. I'm not sure. I'd have to think about everything you've said more.
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Next time we talk, please be respectful. If your not respectful, don't expect a response from me. I think that's fair.
