avoiding confrontation

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sunnymdaze

Guest
#1
My husband avoids confrontation at our business until I've had enough then he steps up to the bat... this is not the way I wish it were...
 
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sunnymdaze

Guest
#2
Are most men like this?
 
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Sirk

Guest
#3
Can you give an example scenario?
 
Mar 6, 2014
110
2
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#4
My husband avoids confrontation at our business until I've had enough then he steps up to the bat... this is not the way I wish it were...
How do you wish it was?
 

JesusMyOnly

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2014
880
15
0
#5
I'm sure not all men are like this. There are plenty of women out there who avoid confrontation, I myself included, and do not wish to fight. I try to stay away from it unless I'm cornered then I do the best I can. Maybe you have or have not talked to your husband about this, if you have not its best to do so. Is there a certain reason he may not like confrontation? Is he shyer, maybe its possible he doesn't believe he is good at confrontations? Or does he just not want the drama?


I see you are a Christian. The best thing you can do is address this problem to him the best you can, present your case making it known to him that its not fair for the business to belong to you both but you are the one taking all the confrontations. Then just step away and pray about it.
 
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sunnymdaze

Guest
#6
He just doesn't want the drama... for example, we had to enforce dress codes...
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#8
Some just don't like it and don't want any part of it. It depends what type of environment you come from. I agree though if you're running a business it comes with the territory. It's something you could try talking to and helping your husband with. Finding out the cause of it and work from there.
 

JesusMyOnly

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2014
880
15
0
#9
He just doesn't want the drama... for example, we had to enforce dress codes...
Ah I see. Well I'm sorry most of that confrontation responsibility is on your side. He needs to learn that in buisness will come confrontations. If he doesn't want the drama, and its partly his buisness he just needs to enforce your rules on the workers and they either take it or leave. He shouldn't have confrontation in a business which is partly his to where people could fight back trying to tell him how to run things. Buisness when shared is a 50/50 thing and the man should help his wife enforce rules that need enforced. The best thing you can do like I said is present that is unfair, he is the man and needs to step up. Pray about it.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#10
It seems to me that if you are in a business partnership, the one who has the best skills at confronting people should be the one to do it. This isn't a man or woman thing. As long as you are in agreement with what needs to be confronted and back the other person up, either partner can do this.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#11
I don't think it healthy to avoid confrontation. Confrontation and conflict is the spice of life as well as a connection builder.
 
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sassylady

Guest
#12
I doubt it is a man thing specifically, though I have known of many women who are married and have that problem. We all have it at different times!

My now ex did the same thing, left it to me to take care of. I hated that so much, a wife doesn't feel protected or cared for when her husband doesn't do his part like that.

Adam was wish Eve in the garden when she took the wrong fruit and didn't say anything. A husband needs to be a leader in the home.
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#13
Nobody enjoys confrontation. It is part of the business environment and with prayer can be addressed. I would say that in business Christians need to practice good stewardship of what God has provided.

Maintaining good order and discipline is a basic business requirement in every business. It can cost tons of money to the business interests if kept in order. Employees need good leadership with purpose. You do not sound like the types who would abuse your employees so don't allow them to abuse you.

Better to fix it now while it is small than to be faced with needing to end the relationship in the future.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
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Sirk

Guest
#14
Avoiding confrontation is like ignoring an infection hoping it will just go away. Confrontation is either a growth mechanism or a death mechanism.
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#15
There are times I enjoy confrontation and since I'm not the only one, it cannot be accurately state that nobody ever enjoys confrontation.

But, in my observations, I would say you're correct that most people do not enjoy confrontation most of the time. I'd also agree that confrontation is inevitable for most people. Also, it's important to note that both potential desirable and undesirable consequences can result from confrontation meaning that learning how to engage confrontation in a godly manner that yields desirable results while minimalizing undesirable consequence is important.

Even after gaining the competency and practicing it, this is easier said than done for difficult people are often involved. Emotional, manipulative, selfish, etc... difficult people.

There are a number of books you can read that present methods for dealing with such people that many have found beneficial. A simple Google search can get you started.


Nobody enjoys confrontation. It is part of the business environment and with prayer can be addressed. I would say that in business Christians need to practice good stewardship of what God has provided.

Maintaining good order and discipline is a basic business requirement in every business. It can cost tons of money to the business interests if kept in order. Employees need good leadership with purpose. You do not sound like the types who would abuse your employees so don't allow them to abuse you.

Better to fix it now while it is small than to be faced with needing to end the relationship in the future.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
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Sirk

Guest
#16
Would jesus have gone to the cross if he avoided confrontation?
 
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AgeofKnowledge

Guest
#17
Most likely with the Father in heaven, exactly where He is now. The real question is where would we be if Jesus had avoided confrontation?

He did what He did out of love.

Would jesus have gone to the cross if he avoided confrontation?
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#18
There are times I enjoy confrontation and since I'm not the only one, it cannot be accurately state that nobody ever enjoys confrontation.

But, in my observations, I would say you're correct that most people do not enjoy confrontation most of the time. I'd also agree that confrontation is inevitable for most people. Also, it's important to note that both potential desirable and undesirable consequences can result from confrontation meaning that learning how to engage confrontation in a godly manner that yields desirable results while minimalizing undesirable consequence is important.

Even after gaining the competency and practicing it, this is easier said than done for difficult people are often involved. Emotional, manipulative, selfish, etc... difficult people.

There are a number of books you can read that present methods for dealing with such people that many have found beneficial. A simple Google search can get you started.
Well if we liken confrontation to chastening then the bible tells us that is not pleasant but necessary part of our growth. As a father I did not enjoy when my children forced a confrontation but they were profited from the experience as was I. Hebrews 12:11

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 

notuptome

Senior Member
May 17, 2013
15,050
2,538
113
#19
Would jesus have gone to the cross if he avoided confrontation?
I see that confrontation at a future date. Jesus will confront and exercise His authority when He returns. Jesus went as the Lamb to the slaughter at His first advent. Isaiah 53

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
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Sirk

Guest
#20
Most likely with the Father in heaven, exactly where He is now. The real question is where would we be if Jesus had avoided confrontation?

He did what He did out of love.
Exactly...when done in the spirit of Jesus, confrontation is about love.