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You know guys try to judge a dating situation in the first few mins..if the girl don't seem very willing to have fun (clean fun) or interested in them, guys often resort to going into a shell of sorts... Kinda like TV mode 
First of all, if you think a woman isn't interested in you, why prolong a date? Have the (ahem) moral fortitude to politely extricate yourself from it.
Secondly, I was KIND and PATIENT to this person. I could have been the woman who stamped her foot and pouted because of his lack of interest in me, but I did not. I behaved decently and listened to him with empathy.
Finally, although I tell the story humorously, the event actually frightened me. One thing that men often fail to consider is how vulnerable women truly are in some of these situations. I basically spent the entire ride home vacillating between crying and hitting my steering wheel with my fist.
Upon reflection I found it ironic that a Christian man would blame my lipgloss for his bad behavior. And that he would even presume I'd want his advances based on how the date had proceeded.
Given the scenario, I also find your comments ironic.
I worked overtime one day a week and one of my responsibilities was to call the answering service and receive updates. Every time I called I talked with the same woman operator, and over time we found each other flirting and sharing compliments.
One day we decided the time was right to get together and finally meet. I went to her place, knocked on the door, she opened it, we took one look at each other and both agreed not to go out. There was absolutely no physical attraction, and it was mutual.
Woof!
One day we decided the time was right to get together and finally meet. I went to her place, knocked on the door, she opened it, we took one look at each other and both agreed not to go out. There was absolutely no physical attraction, and it was mutual.
Woof!
S
You did nothing wrong Olerica! ♡
I have been single for years by choice.
If Mitspa or any other gentleman wants to question why I am not married please feel free!
But assuming us women are single...because we are to problematic or 'strange' to get a man. That is very judgemental and rather rude!
What is wrong with you Mitspa?
This hurts feelings.
I have been single for years by choice.
If Mitspa or any other gentleman wants to question why I am not married please feel free!
But assuming us women are single...because we are to problematic or 'strange' to get a man. That is very judgemental and rather rude!
What is wrong with you Mitspa?
This hurts feelings.
Friends, when going on a first date, even if its with someone you know well, remember the following:
DO NOT GO OUT TO DINNER!!!!
Make your initial date short by going out for coffee, ice cream or a drink. This empowers you by giving you the option of leaving sooner if the date is not going well, or obviously, you can extend the date by doing something afterwards if things are going well.
Also, no tongues or kissing on the lips on the first date.
This is a public service announcement from your Brother, Utah.
DO NOT GO OUT TO DINNER!!!!
Make your initial date short by going out for coffee, ice cream or a drink. This empowers you by giving you the option of leaving sooner if the date is not going well, or obviously, you can extend the date by doing something afterwards if things are going well.
Also, no tongues or kissing on the lips on the first date.
This is a public service announcement from your Brother, Utah.
I worked overtime one day a week and one of my responsibilities was to call the answering service and receive updates. Every time I called I talked with the same woman operator, and over time we found each other flirting and sharing compliments.
One day we decided the time was right to get together and finally meet. I went to her place, knocked on the door, she opened it, we took one look at each other and both agreed not to go out. There was absolutely no physical attraction, and it was mutual.
Woof!
One day we decided the time was right to get together and finally meet. I went to her place, knocked on the door, she opened it, we took one look at each other and both agreed not to go out. There was absolutely no physical attraction, and it was mutual.
Woof!
Good!
In the positive side, I see this:
1) You spare yourselves time without any furthermore flirting.
2) Both of you spared the money you planned to spend that day
3) And the clients and bosses were happier your talks were directly to the aims U were hired for.
Yet! It sounds like the one i shared, elsewhere.
Friends, when going on a first date, even if its with someone you know well, remember the following:
DO NOT GO OUT TO DINNER!!!!
Make your initial date short by going out for coffee, ice cream or a drink. This empowers you by giving you the option of leaving sooner if the date is not going well, or obviously, you can extend the date by doing something afterwards if things are going well.
Also, no tongues or kissing on the lips on the first date.
This is a public service announcement from your Brother, Utah.
DO NOT GO OUT TO DINNER!!!!
Make your initial date short by going out for coffee, ice cream or a drink. This empowers you by giving you the option of leaving sooner if the date is not going well, or obviously, you can extend the date by doing something afterwards if things are going well.
Also, no tongues or kissing on the lips on the first date.
This is a public service announcement from your Brother, Utah.
a) Chat a lot, share your thoughts, even by texts.
b) Once you have developed some level of NORMAL friendship, allow one another see WHO you are, how ugly or hansome you both are...
c) And before a real meeting, try to use, several times, skype or any of those appls used today. You don´t deserve to disappoint THAT person who chose you to be a PERSONAL friend and NO ONE deserves to be disappointed by more lies (more than those secular ppl said to gain access into your life, to utterly hurt you, the more)
Be self-exposed, but don´t get your friends fooled (nor goofed at)
PS
If any of you have licked an ear or a cheek, that was simply a chameleon´s missed coincidence (of good luck?) Ha! Ha! Ha!
well...it wasn't exactly on the first date...but a friend thought this one girl he knew and I might get along so introduced us. We decided to have dinner one evening and that went well. We had good conversation and laughs. So My friend decides to invite us both to a BBQ he was having later that week. We got there at separately times and she showed up a little later. Now mind you this is the second date but about a half hour into us all visiting she stops and looks at me funny and I'm thinking... do I have food on my face? And out of the blue she says" is that?..is that a HICKIE! on your neck" I start laughing because it's so absurd I thought she was joking. But Nope she was really ticked. And I'm like" ummm no, theres no possible way there is a hickey on my neck ...I would know" But she persists in accusing me of seeing someone else...even though we are not BF/GF and it's our second date...So just to appease her I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and realize it was a rash from a razor cut that reddened from when I shaved earlier. And Now I'm the one who's ticked and walk out glaring at her and tell her it was from shaving. She then barely believes me and we continue the rest of the night with slight tension. But I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt as I'm sure she was with me as well. Anyway, the next day i just decide to leave her alone. I'm not dealing with that crap again. But nope later in the afternoon I get a text saying..."so hows your hickie?" I respond shortly with..."it's healing nicely". and drop convo... About an hour later she asks, would you like to come over for dinner? I'm thinking ok she's trying to make up for it...plus hey free meal...so why not...So when I show up I have this suspicious glare in my eyes like it's another set up and she says comfortingly..."look I was just messing with you about the hickie thing." (Me, still not buying it) Anyway we have a nice dinner she made and afterward she asks if I'd like to stay for awhile and relax and watch a movie. Yeah ok. So about halfway into the movie she starts rubbing my back, I kind of twitched at first but thought I guess that's alright...Well I suppose she interprets my non protest as its time to fool around...and she starts trying to kiss me. I turn my head and point at the T.V. and say...ummm the movie's still on...lets finish the movie. So she keeps rubbing my back. I'm thinking its a too soon to kiss since no real feelings have developed...so she starts to move her hands lower. So I stand up and say"hey look, I like hanging out with you and all that but I don't believe in sex before marriage. She gives me the deer stare...says nothing...so I'm thinking ok Im outa here...then she smiles and says..."My Dad is gonna LOVE YOU!" Then I give her the deer stare...and nervously ask without trying to show fear or a quiver in my voice "Dad? why is that?" She says, "because he is a minister " I'm thinking ok 3rd date, meet her dad, dont hardly know each other yet? This aint gonna work. So I start trying to explain this to her and of course she starts crying, saying how I led her on but I kind of feel like this is another type of hickey trick, so I stayed my position in the matter...she goes to the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of whine and starts hitting it hard...uh oh...yeah definitely not gonna work if that's the first thing she does when upset. Then she starts saying how God made people and people need each other and ....I dont know what she said next but all of a sudden I hear in my head the song from Depeche Mode "People are people so why should it be...you and I sure get along so awfully bum bum BUM".....so I start singing it under my breath as she's talking... and she stops talking and gives me that look that suggests "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" then asks..."what'd you say"....so again...somewhat softly...I sing it..."People are people so why should it be"...then I stop and look at her hoping she would catch the next lyric and sing along...but nope...she starts talking again "...and God made Adam and Eve and as a Christian you realize this how people need each other and...." so I start singing again a little louder and in tune this time...I even rocked my head to the beat..."People are People so why should it beeeee...YOU and I sure get along so awfully" And kinda raise one eyebrow as if suggesting "do you get it now?" and she stops and puts her hands on her hips and says" Fine just go" ......bet ya thought I was done....but nope.....I get home and 5 minutes later she comes pulling into my driveway...rather tipsy now from downing the rest of the wine bottle before she decided to invite herself over...and knocks on my door...kind of like the police would knock on your door.....I'm thinking great I wish it were the police...so I answer and she pushes past me barging right in and starts demanding a further explanation...but looking around my house as if I got another girl stashed there...perhaps hoping to catch the imaginary hickie giver...and I say "yeah sure come on in....look around....she goes straight into my bedroom and looks...I think "just as I suspected." I say "Look theres no other girl..."I just am not ready to proceed as quickly as you would like into a relationship especially without taking the time to get to know each other as friends for awhile. YOUR DAD should have taught you THAT"....well I guess I should not have said THAT....it was like trying to get a rabid wolverine out of my house....talk about gnashing of teeth as she proclaims...."MY DAD is a good man and my choices are no reflection of him and as a Christian you should not judge and......something else and something else" as I'm standing there staring at this happening...asking the Lord if I just invited a demon into my home please get it out...God said use my authority...so I told her "I've given you the courtesy of an explanation, and it's not going to work, you're going to have to leave now" So she leaves....whew! bet you thought I was done huh?..the next few days I kept getting facebook messages from her asking why it wont work and can we talk about it and...NO!...ya know I thought this would have been therapeutic writing about this for the first time...but not so much... I don't get that whole sharing and talking about it thing.
" I'm thinking ok 3rd date, meet her dad, dont hardly know each other yet? This aint gonna work. So I start trying to explain this to her and of course she starts crying, saying how I led her on but I kind of feel like this is another type of hickey trick, so I stayed my position in the matter...she goes to the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of whine and starts hitting it hard...uh oh...yeah definitely not gonna work if that's the first thing she does when upset. Then she starts saying how God made people and people need each other and ....I dont know what she said next but all of a sudden I hear in my head the song from Depeche Mode "People are people so why should it be...you and I sure get along so awfully bum bum BUM".....so I start singing it under my breath as she's talking... and she stops talking and gives me that look that suggests "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" then asks..."what'd you say"....so again...somewhat softly...I sing it..."People are people so why should it be"...then I stop and look at her hoping she would catch the next lyric and sing along...but nope...she starts talking again "...and God made Adam and Eve and as a Christian you realize this how people need each other and...." so I start singing again a little louder and in tune this time...I even rocked my head to the beat..."People are People so why should it beeeee...YOU and I sure get along so awfully" And kinda raise one eyebrow as if suggesting "do you get it now?" and she stops and puts her hands on her hips and says" Fine just go" ......bet ya thought I was done....but nope.....I get home and 5 minutes later she comes pulling into my driveway...rather tipsy now from downing the rest of the wine bottle before she decided to invite herself over...and knocks on my door...kind of like the police would knock on your door.....I'm thinking great I wish it were the police...so I answer and she pushes past me barging right in and starts demanding a further explanation...but looking around my house as if I got another girl stashed there...perhaps hoping to catch the imaginary hickie giver...and I say "yeah sure come on in....look around....she goes straight into my bedroom and looks...I think "just as I suspected." I say "Look theres no other girl..."I just am not ready to proceed as quickly as you would like into a relationship especially without taking the time to get to know each other as friends for awhile. YOUR DAD should have taught you THAT"....well I guess I should not have said THAT....it was like trying to get a rabid wolverine out of my house....talk about gnashing of teeth as she proclaims...."MY DAD is a good man and my choices are no reflection of him and as a Christian you should not judge and......something else and something else" as I'm standing there staring at this happening...asking the Lord if I just invited a demon into my home please get it out...God said use my authority...so I told her "I've given you the courtesy of an explanation, and it's not going to work, you're going to have to leave now" So she leaves....whew! bet you thought I was done huh?..the next few days I kept getting facebook messages from her asking why it wont work and can we talk about it and...NO!...ya know I thought this would have been therapeutic writing about this for the first time...but not so much... I don't get that whole sharing and talking about it thing.
H
The thing that grosses me out in some of these bad date stories is how oblivious one party is of the other's feelings, the missed social cues, but then STILL going in for a kiss or physical affection. I don't get it.
C'mon now - you keep wondering what women want, and there are lots of ladies on here sharing their experiences and their opinions. You'd gain a lot more insight by actually listening.
You know guys try to judge a dating situation in the first few mins..if the girl don't seem very willing to have fun (clean fun) or interested in them, guys often resort to going into a shell of sorts... Kinda like TV mode
M
well...it wasn't exactly on the first date...but a friend thought this one girl he knew and I might get along so introduced us. We decided to have dinner one evening and that went well. We had good conversation and laughs. So My friend decides to invite us both to a BBQ he was having later that week. We got there at separately times and she showed up a little later. Now mind you this is the second date but about a half hour into us all visiting she stops and looks at me funny and I'm thinking... do I have food on my face? And out of the blue she says" is that?..is that a HICKIE! on your neck" I start laughing because it's so absurd I thought she was joking. But Nope she was really ticked. And I'm like" ummm no, theres no possible way there is a hickey on my neck ...I would know" But she persists in accusing me of seeing someone else...even though we are not BF/GF and it's our second date...So just to appease her I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and realize it was a rash from a razor cut that reddened from when I shaved earlier. And Now I'm the one who's ticked and walk out glaring at her and tell her it was from shaving. She then barely believes me and we continue the rest of the night with slight tension. But I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt as I'm sure she was with me as well. Anyway, the next day i just decide to leave her alone. I'm not dealing with that crap again. But nope later in the afternoon I get a text saying..."so hows your hickie?" I respond shortly with..."it's healing nicely". and drop convo... About an hour later she asks, would you like to come over for dinner? I'm thinking ok she's trying to make up for it...plus hey free meal...so why not...So when I show up I have this suspicious glare in my eyes like it's another set up and she says comfortingly..."look I was just messing with you about the hickie thing." (Me, still not buying it) Anyway we have a nice dinner she made and afterward she asks if I'd like to stay for awhile and relax and watch a movie. Yeah ok. So about halfway into the movie she starts rubbing my back, I kind of twitched at first but thought I guess that's alright...Well I suppose she interprets my non protest as its time to fool around...and she starts trying to kiss me. I turn my head and point at the T.V. and say...ummm the movie's still on...lets finish the movie. So she keeps rubbing my back. I'm thinking its a too soon to kiss since no real feelings have developed...so she starts to move her hands lower. So I stand up and say"hey look, I like hanging out with you and all that but I don't believe in sex before marriage. She gives me the deer stare...says nothing...so I'm thinking ok Im outa here...then she smiles and says..."My Dad is gonna LOVE YOU!" Then I give her the deer stare...and nervously ask without trying to show fear or a quiver in my voice "Dad? why is that?" She says, "because he is a minister " I'm thinking ok 3rd date, meet her dad, dont hardly know each other yet? This aint gonna work. So I start trying to explain this to her and of course she starts crying, saying how I led her on but I kind of feel like this is another type of hickey trick, so I stayed my position in the matter...she goes to the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of whine and starts hitting it hard...uh oh...yeah definitely not gonna work if that's the first thing she does when upset. Then she starts saying how God made people and people need each other and ....I dont know what she said next but all of a sudden I hear in my head the song from Depeche Mode "People are people so why should it be...you and I sure get along so awfully bum bum BUM".....so I start singing it under my breath as she's talking... and she stops talking and gives me that look that suggests "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" then asks..."what'd you say"....so again...somewhat softly...I sing it..."People are people so why should it be"...then I stop and look at her hoping she would catch the next lyric and sing along...but nope...she starts talking again "...and God made Adam and Eve and as a Christian you realize this how people need each other and...." so I start singing again a little louder and in tune this time...I even rocked my head to the beat..."People are People so why should it beeeee...YOU and I sure get along so awfully" And kinda raise one eyebrow as if suggesting "do you get it now?" and she stops and puts her hands on her hips and says" Fine just go" ......bet ya thought I was done....but nope.....I get home and 5 minutes later she comes pulling into my driveway...rather tipsy now from downing the rest of the wine bottle before she decided to invite herself over...and knocks on my door...kind of like the police would knock on your door.....I'm thinking great I wish it were the police...so I answer and she pushes past me barging right in and starts demanding a further explanation...but looking around my house as if I got another girl stashed there...perhaps hoping to catch the imaginary hickie giver...and I say "yeah sure come on in....look around....she goes straight into my bedroom and looks...I think "just as I suspected." I say "Look theres no other girl..."I just am not ready to proceed as quickly as you would like into a relationship especially without taking the time to get to know each other as friends for awhile. YOUR DAD should have taught you THAT"....well I guess I should not have said THAT....it was like trying to get a rabid wolverine out of my house....talk about gnashing of teeth as she proclaims...."MY DAD is a good man and my choices are no reflection of him and as a Christian you should not judge and......something else and something else" as I'm standing there staring at this happening...asking the Lord if I just invited a demon into my home please get it out...God said use my authority...so I told her "I've given you the courtesy of an explanation, and it's not going to work, you're going to have to leave now" So she leaves....whew! bet you thought I was done huh?..the next few days I kept getting facebook messages from her asking why it wont work and can we talk about it and...NO!...ya know I thought this would have been therapeutic writing about this for the first time...but not so much... I don't get that whole sharing and talking about it thing.
" I'm thinking ok 3rd date, meet her dad, dont hardly know each other yet? This aint gonna work. So I start trying to explain this to her and of course she starts crying, saying how I led her on but I kind of feel like this is another type of hickey trick, so I stayed my position in the matter...she goes to the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of whine and starts hitting it hard...uh oh...yeah definitely not gonna work if that's the first thing she does when upset. Then she starts saying how God made people and people need each other and ....I dont know what she said next but all of a sudden I hear in my head the song from Depeche Mode "People are people so why should it be...you and I sure get along so awfully bum bum BUM".....so I start singing it under my breath as she's talking... and she stops talking and gives me that look that suggests "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" then asks..."what'd you say"....so again...somewhat softly...I sing it..."People are people so why should it be"...then I stop and look at her hoping she would catch the next lyric and sing along...but nope...she starts talking again "...and God made Adam and Eve and as a Christian you realize this how people need each other and...." so I start singing again a little louder and in tune this time...I even rocked my head to the beat..."People are People so why should it beeeee...YOU and I sure get along so awfully" And kinda raise one eyebrow as if suggesting "do you get it now?" and she stops and puts her hands on her hips and says" Fine just go" ......bet ya thought I was done....but nope.....I get home and 5 minutes later she comes pulling into my driveway...rather tipsy now from downing the rest of the wine bottle before she decided to invite herself over...and knocks on my door...kind of like the police would knock on your door.....I'm thinking great I wish it were the police...so I answer and she pushes past me barging right in and starts demanding a further explanation...but looking around my house as if I got another girl stashed there...perhaps hoping to catch the imaginary hickie giver...and I say "yeah sure come on in....look around....she goes straight into my bedroom and looks...I think "just as I suspected." I say "Look theres no other girl..."I just am not ready to proceed as quickly as you would like into a relationship especially without taking the time to get to know each other as friends for awhile. YOUR DAD should have taught you THAT"....well I guess I should not have said THAT....it was like trying to get a rabid wolverine out of my house....talk about gnashing of teeth as she proclaims...."MY DAD is a good man and my choices are no reflection of him and as a Christian you should not judge and......something else and something else" as I'm standing there staring at this happening...asking the Lord if I just invited a demon into my home please get it out...God said use my authority...so I told her "I've given you the courtesy of an explanation, and it's not going to work, you're going to have to leave now" So she leaves....whew! bet you thought I was done huh?..the next few days I kept getting facebook messages from her asking why it wont work and can we talk about it and...NO!...ya know I thought this would have been therapeutic writing about this for the first time...but not so much... I don't get that whole sharing and talking about it thing.