Struggles in my life

LeonM · Aug 19, 2015

first things first: your faith, your relationship, in god is started with your believe and acception of Christ. Second: there are plenty good men out there, just trust god and he'll show you one.

that's all from me for today

zoii · Aug 20, 2015

So I am hoping I understand you all well, that my acceptance of science/big bang/evolution etc doesnt have to mean I am not a person of God. I can believe and support these things and thats Ok - or..is that not what you are saying. I know it seems like I am picking on small things but in fact I look at many issues in the bible and sometimes I just feel like...oh noooo surely not. I guess its particularly that way when it comes to the treatment of women in the old testament. I hoped that...well ok those mysoginist verses had value back then but not now - but then i read in forums like BDF where it talks about whether women should be allowed to talk in church or if they should be allowed to preach and it strikes at me very deeply.

I also find it hard to work through that I can accept god n Jesus, but if I sin in some way... my acceptance by god is cancelled - I go to hell. But yet someone who was terrible/evil all their life at the last minute repents..he walks into the arms of Jesus. I have real examples of this in my life that are so extreme it is really upsetting me to the point that I cry so much over this.

jennymae · Aug 20, 2015

The good Lord is interpreted in oh so many different ways. I've always been referring to Him as the 'good Lord' literally. I dont see Him as a cranky, disgruntled old man just waiting on me to stumble. I put my faith in Jesus, like in the dear old hymns 'What A Friend We Have In Jesus', 'I'll Fly Away' etc. I think a lot of people will say I'm naïve, but these are my beliefs. You see, I think people are adding a piece of their own mindset for the casserole when theyre picturing the Lord, and folks will be different, some will be adding spicy stuff, some will be adding salt, some will be adding sugar etc.

Some folks will always be claiming to know how God truly is, and sadly, some folks are clearly thriving on telling others that they will go straight to hell...

shotgunner · Aug 20, 2015

zoii said:

Zoii
You need some good teaching. You need more than can be expressed here on this forum. If you want to PM me I will suggest some Godly teachers that you can look into. I do not want to post their names here because it would turn into an argument over whether they were right or not. I am NOT trying to hit on you in any way. I have daughters older than you. I would only PM you some names of ministers that could help you.

Let me show you a few misconceptions.
"women should not be allowed to talk in church"
Paul said, let your women keep silent in church referring to a problem that was happening. What was happening was that the women were conversing with their husbands during the service, asking them questions and trying to understand what the husbands hadn't already explained to their wives at home. It was disrupting the teaching to such a point that Paul told them to keep their wives silent in church and fill them in at home on some basics.

I also find it hard to work through that I can accept god n Jesus, but if I sin in some way... my acceptance by god is cancelled -
This is not the truth. I don't have room or time here to fully address it but I will say that a Christian does not want to sin, but we all will at times. The Blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin as we keep a continual relationship with him. It isn't as much about not sinning as it is wanting not to sin and then allowing the Holy Spirit to change us into the image of Christ. Christians will sin but the more we lay down our will and submit to God's will for us the easier it is to resist sin.

zoii · Aug 20, 2015

@shotgunner. TY for your reply it was helpful. So do you believe then that marriage is an equal partnership between men n women? Is the science versus church thing an unnecessary barrier to remaining a Christian?

Plz understand tho I am reluctant to PM men - but ty

shotgunner · Aug 20, 2015

zoii said:

Yes, I completely understand. I may just create a post here about ministers I like and not respond to it again. Then you could look and we all could avoid the argument.

Of coarse marriage is an equal partnership. The scripture does say in Eph.5:22-23 that wives should submit to their husbands but it also says in Eph.5:21 that husbands and wives are to submit to one another. It's not about the husband having the rule over a woman. This same chapter also says that men are to love their wives and give themselves for her just as Christ loved the church and gave himself. When this relationship functions in this manner everything works out perfectly. A woman isn't to rule over her husband but at the same time a man has to be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife.

Men need to be leaders. That's the role God created them for. That however doesn't mean that a woman can never lead. What it means more is that a man will feel less like a man when he doesn't lead and a wise woman will let him lead as she gives him godly wisdom and support. A man needs to be the hero of his wife, and a woman needs to be the one he rescues. It's just the way God set up the relationship, but when both properly fill their role both are fulfilled by it more than any other role they might play.

Tinuviel · Aug 20, 2015

If you believe that you are a sinner, unable to please God, and believe that Jesus Christ took your sin and paid the price that you could not pay, and if you are trusting in him to save you, you are a Christian. No one is perfect, no one has everything right. Thanks be to God, he doesn't leave us in imperfection! throughout our life He will show each one of us where we err, and give us the strength to correct it. You have my love and prayers, sister!

Jimbone · Aug 20, 2015

zoii said:

Hey, I think these struggles are a very good sign from my point of view. I for one think that if you don't approach everything this way you're setting yourself up to be ripped off or conned. I just wanted to give my perspective on two things, first the whole "science versus church" thing. There is no such thing other than in the faulty thinking of some. They are two very different bodies of knowledge and it's not 1 or the other. The whole "church" thing or God in general is not a science question at all, so if someone tells you they can "prove" God with science they're full of it, on the other hand when someone says science has disproved God they are equally full of it. God is not a science question at all. Science is the study of process and what we see and how things work in the physical world, it cannot prove nor disprove God, period. It just doesn't work that way. Also all the "big bang" really proves is the universe had a beginning and actually is evidence for a God. I just ask to please try to keep that in mind because I know what "people say" about science vs. religion.

The second thing I wanted to touch on is the whole submission to your husband thing. I can definitely see how that rubs many women, especially this day and age, wrong. You are called to submit to your husband like we (husbands) are called to submit to God. That was the biggest thing that kept me from God before I was regenerated, I couldn't give my choice up to anyone, even God. We are just raised from birth to be against that, but it's God's design and God is good. I don't think you are old enough or experienced enough to understand what God had in mind when this was put into place, not that I do either just have experiences in being married before God was in me and after. I can promise God's way is better. That said I don't think it means what you think it means. It doesn't mean you have to raise your hand and ask permission to used the restroom from your husband. No you both have your own God given roles and when it comes together it works so beautifully. If the man you marry is upholding his role as God commands he will be someone you want to "submit" to, again not in a slave/master context, but in the way you trust him to follow the Lord and if this is the case he will value your input above all else and welcome it. I think my wife would be a better perspective on that issue, but I just wanted you to know that if everyone is trying to do it God's way then the relationship is more of a 50/50 thing even though each is upholding a different role. Make sense? Please though don't stop seeking the answers to these tough questions, and I will pray that they don't turn you from the 1 true and very real God.

VioletReigns · Aug 20, 2015

shotgunner said:

Yes, I completely understand. I may just create a post here about ministers I like and not respond to it again. Then you could look and we all could avoid the argument.

Of coarse marriage is an equal partnership. The scripture does say in Eph.5:22-23 that wives should submit to their husbands but it also says in Eph.5:21 that husbands and wives are to submit to one another. It's not about the husband having the rule over a woman. This same chapter also says that men are to love their wives and give themselves for her just as Christ loved the church and gave himself. When this relationship functions in this manner everything works out perfectly. A woman isn't to rule over her husband but at the same time a man has to be willing to sacrifice everything for his wife.

Men need to be leaders. That's the role God created them for. That however doesn't mean that a woman can never lead. What it means more is that a man will feel less like a man when he doesn't lead and a wise woman will let him lead as she gives him godly wisdom and support. A man needs to be the hero of his wife, and a woman needs to be the one he rescues. It's just the way God set up the relationship, but when both properly fill their role both are fulfilled by it more than any other role they might play.

You're OUR hero right now, brother shotgunner! Thank you for this godly, encouraging post and leading your sisters away from that vile prison sentence some keep trying to ensnare women with. And thanks to all our other CC brothers who do the same!!

shotgunner · Aug 20, 2015

VioletReigns said:

I appreciate the sentiment Violet, but Christ is the real hero of this story. If there's anything good in me, it's all him.

Jimbone · Aug 20, 2015

Amen brother.

kaylagrl · Aug 20, 2015

Jenizona said:

Hi, zoii! Jen here!

To begin with, and to take from a Douglas Adam's book, just imagine large, friendly letters that say, DON'T PANIC!

You are perfectly normal!

1. I believe in man as a partner in a relationship, not an overlord. My husband agrees in this too, and can't stand men who think otherwise. Good men exist out there who respect women and love the Lord, so don't worry too much about that!

2. After years of college and studying evolution, I totally believe in a six-day Creation. I find that it is scientifically valid! Keep studying, keep learning, keep questioning! But know this! I had a Christian professor one time who told me, "If God told me that evolution was real.. that He used it to create everything... it still wouldn't change the fact that Christ died on the cross for us." Meaning... evolution is a secondary issue, not one that decides the fate of your soul! As a believer, your soul is safe in Christ, so have fun questioning and learning, and don't worry about it!

3. When you say you "fear" men... take this verse and memorize it, if you haven't already! "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7). My version says "timidity" instead of "fear," and "self-discipline" instead of "sound mind," but either way you look at it, it's good! To be cautious of men is good! Downright healthy, if you ask me. But that spirit of fear needs to be done away with, and I know you can do it!

Anyway, be encouraged! Personally, I suspect that you are far stronger than you are giving yourself credit for...

Shoot I wanted to give you rep for this but hit the report button,whew close one.Great advice

kaylagrl · Aug 20, 2015

zoii said:

Listen Miss Zoii I think you've read some of my posts.I had a pretty terrible opinion of men.I was 6 yrs old when I told my grandmother no man was going to push me around! True story! She was married to an alcoholic.The older I got the more set in my opinions got.Then all my friends married,all my family and I was a third wheel.So I gritted my teeth and dated.First guy was such a jerk that I dont call him an "ex". I always say "that guy I was with for a while".I wont even admit to dating him in public,dont say the name.But then I met my current husband.He was a gentleman,he had a gentle spirit and a heart of gold.I still didn't trust him.But in time he didnt talk it,he did it.He proved himself.And today we're married.No one is head over the other.We share duties,responsibilities and talk things out together to come to a final answer.Being in love with the right person can be fantastic you just need to find the person God has for you.

Secondly if you can check out Amazon look for a book called "The Case for a Creator". Its by Lee Strobel. I actually hated science in school but when I read this book it really made me interested in the subject. You know Darwin himself struggled with his faith vs science.He lost a daughter and some think it may have been the reason he turned from God.But the book gives some very good facts that make you see evolution more objectively.Evolution is a theory that has been taught as fact.I hope you read the book and explore outside the box of evolution.

VioletReigns · Aug 20, 2015

shotgunner said:

Of course, bro!

I was referring to your statement about men wanting to be the hero. LOL

shotgunner · Aug 20, 2015

VioletReigns said:

I know. I just had to make sure to deflate my own bubble.

Possibly I will get some time to write a piece about husband wife relationships. Men really do want to be the hero and women want to be the damsel who gets rescued. That's why that theme is so popular all through media history. Men are fragile creatures who need their ego stroked and women want to be desired and feel secure. We are partners, equal in importance but very different in our roles. If we don't understand those roles and our own identity we come to a relationship as incomplete ,expecting the other to make us whole. Anyway, perhaps we can fully discuss this at another time.

Calmador · Aug 22, 2015

zoii said:

As a teenager... actually around your age, I struggled with lots of those things... except I'd be very angry at God. At one point I raised up my fist and said to God angrily, "Don't you care about what I'm going to do to them" ... I was on the verge of doing a great sin against some people. It would've probably messed me up.

I remember one struggle was evolution. I actually made peace with that idea by the idea that God could've made the universe through evolution. However, eventually I believed in the young earth model. I still struggled some... and Today, I'm much more certain due to arguments and evidence that I've found that counters the evolution model.

My point is I think you can be a Christian struggling about these controversial beliefs. I encourage you to search for those answers because THERE ARE ANSWERS!!! I wish I could scream it at the top of my lungs because so many teenagers seem to think there aren't good answers for a young earth model or to debunk evolution. THERE ARE ANSWERS!

For the big bang.... I'd ask anyone who believes in the big bang.... What came before the big bang??? What made the big bang possible??? Where did the mass of the big bang came from???? The scientific community doesn't have an answer. They don't know... but, often it's claimed to be absolutely true... intimidating teenagers like you and like they did me. However, I saw looked for opponents of evolution in order to see other arguments. One of the first explanations was that God could've used evolution to create. Another one was the gap theory... I don't remember the exact verse but in genesis, there's a verse that may have shown a lot of time passed by which may explain the age of the earth. Other have argued in discrediting radiometric dating to be unreliable based on testing it... and that this kind of dating method can give different different ages for the same thing. Carbon dating only goes thousands of years which doesn't exactly help evolution and as far as I've known is usually regarding as reliable. Recently, some scientists have discovered dinosaur tissue... dinosaur tissue! How could dinosaur meat exist??? Wouldn't it have decayed over millions of years? This has been one of the most serious blows to evolution as of late... Mark Armitage, one of the scientist who found dinosaur tissue was so confident in how harmful this was to evolution that he said, "The debate is over! Creationist win!"

Here's a video of Mark Amritage showing his findings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1S_CU3ecNU

Also, here's another scientists, Dr. Mary Schweitzer, also found dinosaur tissue..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwpNc3jcMqA

^^^ This punches the face of evolution... Dinosaur tissue doesn't last millions of years.

Here are some more resources that I've come across as struggled like yourself...

Bible Questions Answered

https://answersingenesis.org/

EveryStudent.com - Exploring Important Questions about Life and God

I was around your age when I found these... they helped

P.S. - I'd also recommend looking up Ravi Zacherias on youtube... he's quite an amazing philosopher on Christain beliefs as-well. Also... John Lennox is great and William Lane Craige.. PLease check all my recommendations... you'll be pleasantly surprised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD45uWxyF_Y

^^^ Ravi on evolution, philosophical relevant response

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXnRGSNmkeE

^^^ John on evolution

Please check em out okay

SistersByHeart · Aug 23, 2015

Im a wee bit younger than you I believe, but if you ever want to talk about this stuff with someone closer to your own age, Im always up to it... I will say that, no, I don't know ALL the answers. But I have overcome a few things recently and would be happy to help others and talk to others.

zoii · Aug 23, 2015

Calmador said:

ty for taking the time to write to me and telling me about your journey. I am listening but I have faith in our scientists and my religion. So I am trying to bridge the gap. I'm finding it tough when both sides tell me you cant have both - yet that's what I want. I cant just say science has it wrong - the theories leading to the big bang are the same ones that allow us to send telescopes through space and understand the meaning of time and how its affected by speed and mass. So I really struggle when people tell me to throw away what science tells me when all of us use that same science when we use the internet or see an image from a space telescope.

You mentioned where did the mass come from to begin big bang - yayyyyyy - this is my point - here is a possible explanation to the marriage of science and Christianity - Big Bang started with singularity and singularity did NOT occur in space or a point in time - rather time and space began in the singularity. So like u said - where did it come from - I believe it was from GOD - genesis Chap 1.

But my struggles are that my beliefs in what I value as a human, and what I am learning in science, aren't marrying well with what I believe in my faith and I want them to - My hope is that as we all grow in our knowledge spiritually and scientifically this gap will close. Right now, despite the fact we all think we are so very clever, I believe we are like ignorant children and all of us have a lot to learn yet.

Oh and by the way - re debunking carbon isotope chemistry - it doesn't stop with a few thousand yrs it goes into millions and the chemistry is sound. Like any scientific projection it will express a projection with error limits. As for flesh preserving - do u remember the frozen mammoth that was found? I wanting to be careful rubbishing science because it is heavily evidence laden and all of use its outcomes in every aspect of our life. Its tough to say scientists are rubbish when they enrich our lives so much. Similarly I cant accept that scientists can dismiss my faith when it too enriches my life.

Anyway - I am struggling and I am keeping an open mind. I pray that no matter our opinions we all keep a space in our brain for knew knowledge which may amend what we think. In the mean time the conflict between the two views sometimes depresses me ... I mean seriously depresses me. I have other struggles that aren't suitable for here so its not just the science stuff...its also human values stuff.

Ty for your reply
Zoii

zoii · Aug 23, 2015

SistersByHeart said:

ty so much for your kind offer. I'm not really in a good place atm so I might not take u up on it right now - but would like to some time down the track.

ty for being kind to me
Zoii

zoii · Aug 23, 2015

kaylagrl said:

I just re-read your reply for the 4th time - I like it. "that guy I was with for a while" hahaha. Yup totally get that. I didn't reply directly to you but I should have. I know I might change my mind about how I feel about a marriage and men in general. I know in my brain that how I am might be because of past events for me. So - I'll try n reserve a space in my brain for change - right now I stiffen when a guy comes anywhere near me n I am so hypersensitive to girls who get hurt. One of the things I just cannot shake from my brain is the very recent thread I started over the 13yo girl who was raped repeatedly over a year - one of those men was her father and the other a pastor from a church in my city. I know I shouldn't let things like the news get to me but I have cried for this girl and I find this along with other aspects of the bible is making me struggle emotionally.

Anyway I just wanted to say ty to u - you've always been kind to me
Zoii

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