How as a Christian do you treat someone who has terribly wronged you?

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annaschneider

Guest
#21
#21
We were friends for 8 years and I fell in love emotionally with him. I gave him the mug for Easter. I didn't understand why he didn't come by. He never missed one single day of coming to see me.I didn't see him, so I went to find him. I thought maybe he was busy. We talked and decided to take it to the next level. I guess He weakened when He saw me. He spoke so lovely to me. He was supposed to meet me the next day and that was it. He never showed. He ran away. Ghosted me.
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#22
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#22
3 years, and you never pressed him to see how he feels?

He led you on? You mean he romanced you? You dated him?

You bared your heart to him? Told him everything you felt about him several times & never got an answer?

You should have dropped him the first time he refused to speak up.

Because he's not a christian, you never should have gotten close in the first place.

Sorry, but I must ask you: Are you a christian?

Perhaps he's a closet homosexual, & you two really were good friends, having girltalk. If that's so, the gift totally spooked him, & he can't say anything because of that.

Not much else I could say due to lack if info.:)
 
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Susanna

Guest
#23
#23
Stephen63 said:
3 years, and you never pressed him to see how he feels?

He led you on? You mean he romanced you? You dated him?

You bared your heart to him? Told him everything you felt about him several times & never got an answer?

You should have dropped him the first time he refused to speak up.

Because he's not a christian, you never should have gotten close in the first place.

Sorry, but I must ask you: Are you a christian?

Perhaps he's a closet homosexual, & you two really were good friends, having girltalk. If that's so, the gift totally spooked him, & he can't say anything because of that.

Not much else I could say due to lack if info.:)
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Maybe you've said too much already.
 
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annaschneider

Guest
#24
#24
I'm sorry but you're tone is not very Christ like. Maybe you should evaluate your heart before making false accusations of homosexuality. I thought I was on a Christian website. What more do you need? There are no sordid details.
 
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Susanna

Guest
#25
#25
annaschneider said:
I'm sorry but you're tone is not very Christ like. Maybe you should evaluate your heart before making false accusations of homosexuality. I thought I was on a Christian website. What more do you need? There are no sordid details.
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Preach it, sister. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#26
Mar 13, 2014
41,324
16,307
113
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Tennessee
#26
annaschneider said:
I'm sorry but you're tone is not very Christ like. Maybe you should evaluate your heart before making false accusations of homosexuality. I thought I was on a Christian website. What more do you need? There are no sordid details.
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Unfortunately, his tone is rarely Christ-like. Sorry that you wasted 8 years of your life pursuing this guy. I hardly think that it was the coffee cup with chocolates that made him decide to avoid you. He may have led you on but it seems that he was not really ready to make a commitment. I pray that God heals your broken heart.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#27
#27
annaschneider said:
We were friends for 8 years and I fell in love emotionally with him. I gave him the mug for Easter. I didn't understand why he didn't come by. He never missed one single day of coming to see me.I didn't see him, so I went to find him. I thought maybe he was busy. We talked and decided to take it to the next level. I guess He weakened when He saw me. He spoke so lovely to me. He was supposed to meet me the next day and that was it. He never showed. He ran away. Ghosted me.
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Quote"We were friends for 8 years and I fell in love emotionally with him."

Im really not trying to be mean. But you falling in love with him is not his issue. Thats really not fair of you.He didn't lead you on.You fell for him,he didn't feel the same way. It hurts,I understand that but it really isn't his fault.


Quote "I gave him the mug for Easter. I didn't understand why he didn't come by. He never missed one single day of coming to see me."

He probably sensed you had changed toward him. A lot of guys don't want to hurt a woman by saying they dont feel the same way so they avoid them. Thats a classic move really. In a sense he was trying to spare your feelings.


Quote "We talked and decided to take it to the next level."

Whoa, wait,what next level did you decide to go to? Dating? He agreed to start dating you?


Quote " He was supposed to meet me the next day and that was it. He never showed. He ran away. Ghosted me."

Ok so by the end of your story my opinion has changed. If he said he wanted to date you,thats a different story. If he said he wanted to take it to the next level and date you and then tried to avoid you that is different. As an adult you need to set up a time to talk to him face to face. Then you need to ask him directly what he wants in the relationship. Let him know you're not interested in playing games. If he wants to just be friends and you can't handle that you need to tell him you are not interested and then walk away and leave it alone. Do not let someone play you.If thats what he is up to he's not worth your time. But as an adult be direct and find out what he wants or doesn't want and act accordingly. Dont let anyone hang your life up.There are a lot of great guys out there.Dont get stuck on an idiot. I thought I was in love with a guy and he was fools gold. Today I am happily married to real gold!
 
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annaschneider

Guest
#28
#28
I cornered him and confronted him and asked him "why he didn't just tell me of he didn't care?" His answer was I never said I didn't care about you and walked away.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#29
#29
annaschneider said:
I'm sorry but you're tone is not very Christ like. Maybe you should evaluate your heart before making false accusations of homosexuality. I thought I was on a Christian website. What more do you need? There are no sordid details.
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Im sorry to say that this day in age that could be a possibility. He wasn't looking for sordid details. It happens.
 
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annaschneider

Guest
#30
#30
Please everyone this has turned into an interrogation. I just want to know how to heal my brokenheart with God's word and how to treat him as a Christian through biblical references. God's word is what is most important to me.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#31
#31
annaschneider said:
I cornered him and confronted him and asked him "why he didn't just tell me of he didn't care?" His answer was I never said I didn't care about you and walked away.
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Caring doesn't mean he's in love with you. You need to know if he's in love with you. You need to get to the bottom of this and let him know you're not going to play head games. In or out. Make a decision or Im movin on.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#32
#32
annaschneider said:
Please everyone this has turned into an interrogation. I just want to know how to heal my brokenheart with God's word and how to treat him as a Christian through biblical references. God's word is what is most important to me.
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Healing is going to take time,simple as that. But first you must move on once you have this settled. Once you know his intent you can start moving on. How do you forgive? Know that he is doing you a big favor. If he's not interested wouldn't you rather know now than 3yrs into marriage? Move on and know you put the wrong person behind you and God has the right person ahead of you. Trust me on this.Wipe the tears.I spent too much time on the wrong one. Move on and find who God has for you.
 
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annaschneider

Guest
#33
#33
As I said I'm here for what God's word says about brokenheartedness, anger and how to be a good Christian. I'm not here to figure out how he feels about me. He's made his point loud and clear. I'm trying to figure out how to heal through scripture. The posts started out so good and helpful. Now it's like a therapy session without God.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#34
#34
annaschneider said:
As I said I'm here for what God's word says about brokenheartedness, anger and how to be a good Christian. I'm not here to figure out how he feels about me. He's made his point loud and clear. I'm trying to figure out how to heal through scripture. The posts started out so good and helpful. Now it's like a therapy session without God.
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No one here is a therapist,that I know of. Everyone is trying to be helpful in their own way.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#35
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#35
Forgive him, leave him alone, cut all contact if possible, and move on..
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#36
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#36
annaschneider said:
As I said I'm here for what God's word says about brokenheartedness, anger and how to be a good Christian. I'm not here to figure out how he feels about me. He's made his point loud and clear. I'm trying to figure out how to heal through scripture. The posts started out so good and helpful. Now it's like a therapy session without God.
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As the scriptures says in Psalm 34:18 - The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. So he will help you through any difficult times you go through. Forgive & give any burdens you may have to the lord. The lord knows you better than anyone & understands what you are going through
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#37
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#37
annaschneider said:
I'm sorry but you're tone is not very Christ like. Maybe you should evaluate your heart before making false accusations of homosexuality. I thought I was on a Christian website. What more do you need? There are no sordid details.
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I've known closet christians who went to church, it happens all the time.

That wasn't meant to be insulting..... I'm merely pointing out you didn't know him like you thought you did.
 
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annaschneider

Guest
#40
#40
Thank you PrynceNY for that. Right on point.
 
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