D
Step 1: Repent! It doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do. It matters what you do, and you've taken this to the opposite of "love your neighbor." That's all you. Your sin. So take it to God, repent (turn from), and realize who you're repenting to. (God.)
Step 2: Once you realize you're in the wrong and need to change, then you come face-to-face with what we all have to face. It's not your imagination. You've got this fully in focus. You cannot change. So, with that realization, ask God to change you. Beg for his help, because we really cannot change except through him working through us. Ask him to change this in you, and scootchy over to give him rein to change your direction and to change you. Don't think you can muscle your way through this. Don't take the reins back. Humbly let him do it through you.
Step 3: You're going to take those reins back. The guy is going to irritate you once again, or you're feelings will resurface of that hurt, and you're going to do something about that sooner or later, because that guy is a coworker, so you just can't leave him behind and forget about him. You will take the reins back. BUT after you do that, eventually you're going to realize you pushed God to the side and started walking on your own again. In which case, Repeat Step 1 and 2.
Keep repeating Step 1 and Step 2 as often as is needed.
God's goal is "love your neighbor as yourself." The neighbor isn't always Mr. Wilson. (Dennis the Menace's neighbor. If you don't get the reference, it might be worth checking out some old YouTubes of Dennis the Menace shows or finding the old comic strips online to get it, because Mr. Wilson always got the worst side of Dennis, and yet loved the kid as only crotchety Mr. Wilson could do.) Sometimes the neighbor is more like Draco Malfoy, Gallum, Darth Vader, or Kahn. God doesn't differentiate. He gives us mercy when we weren't worthy too, so he asks we do the same, and then gives us himself to do so.
Yes, it's hard. On the other hand, it's impossible without God working through us. Keep realizing you're the one who needs help, and God will help you, even when you keep finding yourself back at Step 3.
The bad news is when you first do this, you will find yourself at Step 3 moment by moment. The good news is with years of making it a habit, you can get to the point of hitting Step 3 every other minute or so. Keep working at it, and some day, you might find yourself only hitting Step 3 once every few days.
God's worth it.
Step 2: Once you realize you're in the wrong and need to change, then you come face-to-face with what we all have to face. It's not your imagination. You've got this fully in focus. You cannot change. So, with that realization, ask God to change you. Beg for his help, because we really cannot change except through him working through us. Ask him to change this in you, and scootchy over to give him rein to change your direction and to change you. Don't think you can muscle your way through this. Don't take the reins back. Humbly let him do it through you.
Step 3: You're going to take those reins back. The guy is going to irritate you once again, or you're feelings will resurface of that hurt, and you're going to do something about that sooner or later, because that guy is a coworker, so you just can't leave him behind and forget about him. You will take the reins back. BUT after you do that, eventually you're going to realize you pushed God to the side and started walking on your own again. In which case, Repeat Step 1 and 2.
Keep repeating Step 1 and Step 2 as often as is needed.
God's goal is "love your neighbor as yourself." The neighbor isn't always Mr. Wilson. (Dennis the Menace's neighbor. If you don't get the reference, it might be worth checking out some old YouTubes of Dennis the Menace shows or finding the old comic strips online to get it, because Mr. Wilson always got the worst side of Dennis, and yet loved the kid as only crotchety Mr. Wilson could do.) Sometimes the neighbor is more like Draco Malfoy, Gallum, Darth Vader, or Kahn. God doesn't differentiate. He gives us mercy when we weren't worthy too, so he asks we do the same, and then gives us himself to do so.
Yes, it's hard. On the other hand, it's impossible without God working through us. Keep realizing you're the one who needs help, and God will help you, even when you keep finding yourself back at Step 3.
The bad news is when you first do this, you will find yourself at Step 3 moment by moment. The good news is with years of making it a habit, you can get to the point of hitting Step 3 every other minute or so. Keep working at it, and some day, you might find yourself only hitting Step 3 once every few days.
God's worth it.
