Hi Steph, something to think about as a carer / care giver.
It mostly involves the elderly but can also involve disabled people or younger
ill people. It involves washing, bathing, toileting - in fact that takes up a great
deal of the job. Also as a woman you would probably deal with both men and
women.
Im a carer to my elderly aunt, when it comes to family it's quite different to doing it
as a job. I do all of the above for my aunt, plus make all the meals, drinks,
laundary sometimes the bedding needs changing 2-3 times a week.
Plus there is the need to help her get around the house, give her tablets - she is on
several different meds which need to be given at different time, make sure I
get replacement meds before they run out. Arrange doctor's appointments,
when she is unwell I check on her in the middle of the night. Liaise with
Respiritory nurse, community matron, care company, hospitals when she ends up in
hospital.
My days starts at 6am no time for a lie in. I havent had a lie in for nearly 5 years.
I work part time so on a working day my day doesn't end until 8pm. That's because
when I get home from work I can't just say that's it I'm done. I have to make
dinner clear up the lunch time things, more laundry, more mess to sort out etc.
My days off are usually waiting for medical appointments, like today the community
matron is coming, plus there is a delivery of Incontinance pads today. Meals to make,
bedding to wash etc. I never really have a day off, just maybe a morning or an afternoon.
Its exhausting, hard, lonely as I'm no longer free to do what I want when I want. It's
depressing at times. Christmas and birthdays are spent making sure my aunt has
an enjoyable time my own enjoyment is put to one side. Although I get my enjoyment
from knowing I made my aunt happy.
Im telling you all of this to put the realities of being a carer for a family member to you.
It's hard work, it takes over every aspect of your life, free time is never really free, you
clock watch a lot if you go out, knowing you have to go home soon etc.
For me its worth it as I wouldn't want my aunt in an old people's home, maybe it might be
necessary some day if she ever got too ill to be looked after at home and big while I can,
then I would prefer that she can stay at home.
It wasn't a choice it just sort of happened as things do in life and I found myself gradually
in this position. I do it out of love for her but it wasn't a choice and looking back I wish
we weren't in this position for both our sakes, I wish her health was better and that she
was more able to look after herself. She is 82.
We do have Carer's who come in twice a day as I work so can't be there all the time, plus
it means I can go to church, I can go do the shopping etc. They come at breakfast for
30-45 mins and at lunch for 15 mins to check on her. They just do the basics and no
more because I'm there to do the rest.
But i I know they go to other people's houses both men and women who live alone.
They wash bathe them, clean them when they have been to toilet, clear up sick,
give meds, shave men, hoist some in and out of bed, change catheter bags,
do shopping for people, call ambulances and doctors if people are unwell.
They do domestic chores like ironing cleaning, take people in cars to banks
and shops for those who can get out a bit.
They start work at 7am and often don't finish until 10pm at night rushing between
clients. They eat in their cars or grab a drink at clients houses. They work 4 days
one week then 3 days the next. Some just work weekends but while at work they
go non stop all day long.
Some clients need two visits a day like my aunt, others get 4 visits a day i.e. Breakfast,
lunch, tea and bed time.
One of my brothers is a respite carer, some people can't be left alone as they have
dementia and need watching constantly. He sits with people overnight so their family
can get some sleep. He had one client who needed changing every two hours as they
kept bursting catheter bags and removing Incontinance pants.
Another client kept trying to climb over the bed rails and leave the house. Dementia is
a terrible disease but as a carer you would come across that a lot.
Recently two of my cousins elderly clients died, they both had dementia and both
were nearly 100. My cousin was heart broken as despite the hard work he had really
got to know them well. But he had to pick himself up and move onto new clients.
Im just setting the above out so you can see the reality of being a carer, it has its
own rewards but it's a lot of hard work both physically and emotionally.
Some people love it others give it up after a few months as they can't cope.
Its important though to know the truth about the job so you can decide for yourself.
Its important also that you go into caring because you want to do it, not because another
person wants you to do it. It's your life not their's.
Praying that you will know the right decision one way or another.