I knew about the concept of God, that some people did believe He existed. I never did believe He existed. One day I read the gospel (because I watched a show on Nostradamus and thought Jesus might be the same, where people believed He could tell the future, but I wasn't sure about if He predicted the future or not). So I was looking for if He told the future.
I wasn't sure where to find The part of the book where Jesus came in so I started at the beginning but I saw the literary device of fairytale, even down to the poisoned piece of fruit and the prince and princess, although I thought it was a poorly written fairytale.
So then I skipped to the end. I recognized the literary device there right away too. It was science fiction, but once again, I thought it poorly written science fiction., but it piqued my interest as to why some of the words were in red ink. So I found more red ink and figured out that the red ink had led me to the part I wanted, to see if Jesus said anything about the future.
So I began reading where the red ink started. Sometime between Mathew and john, I suddenly saw that impossible as it seemed, it was the truth. I was very distraught. Not about sin. I still didn't even understand exactly what was sin and what wasn't. I was so distraught because I had ignored God all my life because I hadn't even believed He existed.so when I was on the floor shrieking and breaking into a million pieces, my only thought, over and over again was: I'm so sorry I didn't know I didn't know oh my god I'm so sorry.
So if you need me now to say it didn't happen in one moment that I could see, I can't. I saw in one moment when the moment before I hadn't seen.