Chirstian Approved Joke Thread

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Twinkle77

Twinkle77

Senior Member
#21
Sep 1, 2012
357
5
18
#21
One Sunday in a Midwest City, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle.

Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
 
O

OFM

Guest
#22
#22
great i could really see that hapening lol.............
 
shawntc

shawntc

Senior Member
#23
May 7, 2010
729
11
0
#23
"Excuse me sir, are you by any chance Calvinist?"
 
Y

YoungServant

Guest
#24
#24
A man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
A man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
A man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.
 
O

OFM

Guest
#26
#26
YoungServant said:
A man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
A man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
A man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.
Click to expand...
nice it will take awhile
 
Twinkle77

Twinkle77

Senior Member
#27
Sep 1, 2012
357
5
18
#27
I was watching "Kids say the darndest thing on Youtube last night. It was hilarious. Here's a couple of them. Art is the host.

Art: What do you think you will be when you grow up?
Kid: A bus driver or a pilot
Art: a bus driver or a pilot, hmm – let’s supposed you’re a pilot on a big airplane and suddenly all 4 engines stopped right away. What would you say?
Kid: Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name


Art: What’s the hardest thing about school for you?
Kid: Buttoning my pants
:D
 
Y

YoungServant

Guest
#29
#29
i like kids say 'the darnest thing', those kids always catch me by surprise
 
M

Miri

Guest
#30
#30
Hi reminds me of something that happened several years ago. I was a leader on a Christian camp taking a group of kids age 8 - 13 away for the week. we started each day with a fun wacky kind of relaxed sunday school, with lots of games, quizes and stories etc.

One day the bible story was about the Pharisees how they looked squeaky clean and holy on the outside, but on the inside that were like white washed tombs full of dead mens bones etc.

Anyway later on in the day, we took them out on a day trip to a nearby town which had a big cathedral. Some of them wanted to go inside so we took them in for a look around.

One of the boys about 9 was a bit of a loveable cheeky chap kind of character, but he was behaving himself really well that day.
He walked into the cathedral wearing a base ball cap he had just bought.

Suddenly one of the clergymen / priests etc walked over to him and swiped the boys baseball cap off his head and throw it on the floor, saying that he should have more respect and not wear his cap in church!

The boy looked at him in utter surpise, then started to point at the priest and shouted at the top of his voice which really echoed around the building - you are a Pharisee !! Oh you should have seen the look on the mans face - out of the mouth of the mouth of babes !!
 
F

Fractal_Curve

Guest
#31
#31
Miri said:
Hi reminds me of something that happened several years ago. I was a leader on a Christian camp taking a group of kids age 8 - 13 away for the week. we started each day with a fun wacky kind of relaxed sunday school, with lots of games, quizes and stories etc.

One day the bible story was about the Pharisees how they looked squeaky clean and holy on the outside, but on the inside that were like white washed tombs full of dead mens bones etc.

Anyway later on in the day, we took them out on a day trip to a nearby town which had a big cathedral. Some of them wanted to go inside so we took them in for a look around.

One of the boys about 9 was a bit of a loveable cheeky chap kind of character, but he was behaving himself really well that day.
He walked into the cathedral wearing a base ball cap he had just bought.

Suddenly one of the clergymen / priests etc walked over to him and swiped the boys baseball cap off his head and throw it on the floor, saying that he should have more respect and not wear his cap in church!

The boy looked at him in utter surpise, then started to point at the priest and shouted at the top of his voice which really echoed around the building - you are a Pharisee !! Oh you should have seen the look on the mans face - out of the mouth of the mouth of babes !!
Click to expand...
What an arrogant, obnoxious old fool! He deserved the good cheeking he got! :D
 
O

OFM

Guest
#32
#32
that stroy was great awesome very Epic
 
C

Cari99

Guest
#33
#33
I'm wearing a shirt that says "I'm right 97% of the rime, who cares about the other 4%?" Do you think I should wear that while I tutor math? :)
 
C

Cari99

Guest
#34
#34
*time

I hate typos......
 
O

OFM

Guest
#35
#35
yes i would its epic....
 
Y

YoungServant

Guest
#36
#36
they would have an excuse for whenever they fail a test
 
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