To be honest, none of my thinking has anything to do with rationality or Christianity. It has to do with the upbringing that I had, which was basically that anything and everything that made me different meant that I endured ridicule on a regular basis. If that isn't hatred of
some sort, then I don't know what is. Not sure if it's clear for people to see or not, but that's why I easily feel persecuted. Still live in a small town where I have to avoid people who want to humiliate me and mock me if they so much as see my face in public. Don't even know these people, as well, but for some reason they hate me because they hate my parents. Make that make sense? (lol)
I don't know.
My thinking has to do with self-preservation, at this point. I'd like for people to be more understanding about that ... but it seems that if you aren't purely rational in thinking, then maybe you don't deserve to be understood? Who knows. I sure don't.