I'm sorry.............

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joefizz

Guest
#41
Smartest thing you've said on here so far.

But you have made one mistake in your reasoning, which is an understandable mistake. You interpret how you're treated in your upbringing as personal. It wasn't, it just felt that way. But if it wasn't you someone else would've been subjected to the same treatment. It's just that people who behave in such a manner make it feel personal to make it seem that much worse.

Also you do have quite a victim mentality. This tends to bring out two responses 1) It reveals to bad people that you can be mistreated 2) it can have a negative effect on how people perceive you because you don't know anything else to talk about.
It would benefit you to approach people in a manner other than 'this is what's wrong with me' and instead just talk about other aspects of yourself that aren't perceived by you as negative, or even on subjects other than yourself. Establish a link with a person that isn't based on you speaking negatively about yourself. This will change how people view you early on, as well as how they may treat you.

Often people raised in hateful environments show the affects in their body language, speech and behavior. We already know your speech/behavior has been affected. So it's a sure bet your body language displays it too. This is like an alert to jerks that you are easy to mistreat.
All this can change, but it takes time and a lot of work.
Yes it is time consuming and a lot of work,it all starts with a single step forward in the "positive" direction,our pasts don't "entirely" define us though they can be very "painful" seeking to stop "doubting one's self" is a decent start as well as "discussing" without the " mournful life story" routine that's one of the ways to "push people away" laying out your life like a sack of molded potatoes,when one can finally "break routine" one can find more "life" to live.
 
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CandieM

Guest
#42
This is like an alert to jerks that you are easy to mistreat.
Exactly.

Thank you to those who commented with positive feedback. It does mean a lot to me. Just very spaced-out now, but I do appreciate it. More than I can put into words, so this doesn't suffice, but thank you.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#43
Exactly.

Thank you to those who commented with positive feedback. It does mean a lot to me. Just very spaced-out now, but I do appreciate it. More than I can put into words, so this doesn't suffice, but thank you.
It does suffice.
And while you feel you annoy everyone, everyone annoys me to some degree. Two sides of the same coin ;)
 
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CandieM

Guest
#44
I don't feel like I annoy everyone, only people who are so busy that they have no time for anything else in their lives. Mostly business people. I try not to contact anyone unless I absolutely have to.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#45
I don't feel like I annoy everyone, only people who are so busy that they have no time for anything else in their lives. Mostly business people. I try not to contact anyone unless I absolutely have to.
Wouldn't anyone feel that way about someone that busy?
And you did say, right after "i try not to contact Anyone unless I absolutely have to". Why go so far out of your way?
 
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CandieM

Guest
#46
Maybe I feel desperate to reach out and talk to someone, even if that person is limited in what they can do for me. Maybe I just want to talk to someone so that I feel like I actually exist. I know, what a concept.
 

becc

Senior Member
Mar 4, 2018
6,534
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#47
Maybe I feel desperate to reach out and talk to someone, even if that person is limited in what they can do for me. Maybe I just want to talk to someone so that I feel like I actually exist. I know, what a concept.
I know how it feels to not feel like you exist. Sometimes i wondered if only i could see/feel myself and i try to change that feeling by joining a social media.... it felt like the best thing that happened to me till i deleted my account. I cried for 2 days and wrote a poem about not existing... no kidding! But i found out i was wrong..... i changed my attitude to things and people, changed my environment and drew closer to God... here i am now feeling like i exist even in more than this realm.
 
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CandieM

Guest
#48
I know how it feels to not feel like you exist. Sometimes i wondered if only i could see/feel myself and i try to change that feeling by joining a social media.... it felt like the best thing that happened to me till i deleted my account. I cried for 2 days and wrote a poem about not existing... no kidding! But i found out i was wrong..... i changed my attitude to things and people, changed my environment and drew closer to God... here i am now feeling like i exist even in more than this realm.
This will probably happen for me once I start fully studying the Bible and immersing myself in the Word. Will be a positive life-changing experience. Wish it for everyone. We are so loved. It's very eye-opening and deeply touching when God reveals this to me. ♥