Notification of a Friendship request.

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J

JustWhoIAm

Guest
#81
#81
seed_time_harvest said:
Just curious,do you feel like you have to be nicer to someone on your friend list?:eek:
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Ever feel like it's time to start being a jerk to someone you can't avoid being around after you've tried for like, i dunno, almost your whole life to accommodate them?
 
A_Friend_In_Christ

A_Friend_In_Christ

Senior Member
#82
Aug 13, 2013
965
8
18
#82
Things in life do matter to God and to us. Just sayin. :) God can soften our hardened hearts. Amen.
 
notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#83
May 26, 2016
4,707
1,132
113
#83
seed_time_harvest said:
Just curious,do you feel like you have to be nicer to someone on your friend list?:eek:
Click to expand...
have to be? no, i do try to be kind to everyone, regardless of whether or not i've received a friend request.
i feel confident i don't always achieve that goal. "But God"... two favorite Bible words that remind me to keep at it.

first joined in 2012 and i still haven't taken the time to learn how to send one, though. :eek:
(technological idiot lol!)

how about you, s_t_h? how do you deal with friend requests? :)
 
AbigailZeke

AbigailZeke

Beloved
#85
Mar 11, 2016
3,055
241
63
Singapore
abigail.pro
#85
seed_time_harvest said:
If you were to receive a friendship request,what traits would you look for before accepting the request,or would you accept all frindship request?
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I used to and it got me into sorts of problems. See, to us, accepting friend request doesn't mean anything, but to some... especially younger men, it can mean anything. It can mean to them "we're friends, and so you can pm me and express your interest in me, even if you're obviously a troll, or that I have no idea who you are and never stop pm'ing me until I block or report you" or something like that.

Since then, I only accept requests from people I recognise (even people I haven't talked to before, but have seen in the forums and know that they're not trolls). If they're not in my friend's list that means they won't be able to contact me privately and I prefer it that way. Better safe than sorry!

I do think, this is something more important to women.
 
notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#86
May 26, 2016
4,707
1,132
113
#86
AbigailZeke said:
I used to and it got me into sorts of problems. See, to us, accepting friend request doesn't mean anything, but to some... especially younger men, it can mean anything. It can mean to them "we're friends, and so you can pm me and express your interest in me, even if you're obviously a troll, or that I have no idea who you are and never stop pm'ing me until I block or report you" or something like that.

Since then, I only accept requests from people I recognise (even people I haven't talked to before, but have seen in the forums and know that they're not trolls). If they're not in my friend's list that means they won't be able to contact me privately and I prefer it that way. Better safe than sorry!

I do think, this is something more important to women.
Click to expand...

this makes good sense. :)

if you're a young, single woman, or even a married woman, but still young and attractive, and you have your settings adjusted so that you only receive PMs from friends... it makes sense.

i do know of at least one young man here, though, who has received plenty of unwanted attention from the ladies. :(
 
M

Messy

Banned
#87
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#87
Why do I never have those problems? I feel flattered if I get some attention from a stalker, player or love scammer lol. I don't even unfriend those on Facebook, although I just don't talk back anymore if too filthy language comes out of them. Normal guys are never interested anyway. Think I'll marry a stalker or a love scammer some day or a Nigerian prince.
 
M

Messy

Banned
#88
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#88
Lol a year ago or so when I was looking for a guy I saw this Dutch guy on Facebook, a former drug addict christian who had a thing on his page that he was looking for a partner. So I thought: hey he looks nice and I respond just normal.
No response. Not even the decency to say: hey thanks, but I don't want a single mom. I was offended, so I posted this after 2 days of no response, lol, but I later removed it:

eacf7400f70a5e094fcea665bb251c86d272b75fcc7cbdca171653dfddf15bb1.jpg

And now all of a sudden he sends me a friend request. I accepted it, why not, everyone can be my Facebook friend, except when they continually beg for money or are after the pics of my kids. Maybe he befriended me because it says I'm in a relationship. With Jesus LOL.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#89
#89
notmyown said:
i accept 'em all, pretty much.

it's not like you guys are real people. ;)
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I am too! Here's my real picture.
 Morrowind.jpg
(A drawing I did of my avatar back when I played Morrowind. And yes that's my teddy bear standing behind me to the left. (And Creeper, the Merchant, behind us. lol)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#90
#90
notmyown said:
Madame Blueberry changed my life.

not even kidding.
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I've never seen Veggie Tales. I admit to Mr. Roger's, Electric Factory, and Sesame Street, but because my brother was from that first era of kids watching them. He's 49, so no more excuses to watch kids shows. Should I take the plunge and watch one, now that hubby isn't here to rightfully roll his eyes?
 
seed_time_harvest

seed_time_harvest

Senior Member
#91
Dec 9, 2011
13,739
1,727
113
#91
Yeraza_Bats said:
I just accept friendship requests from anyone as well : p But usually the people that send them to me are people Ive had some interaction with on a thread. And many times they are not Christian. Like I have a teenage muslim on my friends list. I of course accept them because we had both talked on a thread, and I want them to know that I am a friend, and not their enemy, and that they have a friend in Christ if they come to Him as well : p

I dont think Ive ever denied a friend request before : p
(for those of you who stated you never accept them from men, a friend request is nothing more than an addition to your friends list, any contact you have with them outside of that is your own choice and has nothing to do with them being on your friends list : p )
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Yes that Is true,If someone adds a friend to their page,It won't change anything,but I can see how It might Influence me to be nicer to them than someone else,so then to be truthful that would make me a respecter of persons.:eek:
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#92
#92
JustWhoIAm said:
Ever feel like it's time to start being a jerk to someone you can't avoid being around after you've tried for like, i dunno, almost your whole life to accommodate them?
Click to expand...
Yeah, but then the feeling passes because he is my blood family and I do have to be around him for the rest of my life. Blood family we're stuck with for life. Christian family we're stuck with for eternity. Better to deal with how you act/react around whoever, because you can deal with you. They may well stay the same.

Pretend this is older you talking to younger you, because you sure sound like younger me. (I planned to ditch the offending party the second Dad died. I'm 60. Dad's still with us. Good thing, because through Dad's problems -- he has dementia -- the offending party and I have become closer.)
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#93
#93
AbigailZeke said:
I used to and it got me into sorts of problems. See, to us, accepting friend request doesn't mean anything, but to some... especially younger men, it can mean anything. It can mean to them "we're friends, and so you can pm me and express your interest in me, even if you're obviously a troll, or that I have no idea who you are and never stop pm'ing me until I block or report you" or something like that.

Since then, I only accept requests from people I recognise (even people I haven't talked to before, but have seen in the forums and know that they're not trolls). If they're not in my friend's list that means they won't be able to contact me privately and I prefer it that way. Better safe than sorry!

I do think, this is something more important to women.
Click to expand...
When Dad was single and younger (in his 40's) women hit on him like he was steel to their magnets. They'd fawn all over him. He had the two things that instantly attract others in the world -- fairly good looking and made a really-good living.

I'm curious as to what that is, because it seems like guys never get hit on online.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#94
#94
Messy said:
Lol a year ago or so when I was looking for a guy I saw this Dutch guy on Facebook, a former drug addict christian who had a thing on his page that he was looking for a partner. So I thought: hey he looks nice and I respond just normal.
No response. Not even the decency to say: hey thanks, but I don't want a single mom. I was offended, so I posted this after 2 days of no response, lol, but I later removed it:

View attachment 153262

And now all of a sudden he sends me a friend request. I accepted it, why not, everyone can be my Facebook friend, except when they continually beg for money or are after the pics of my kids. Maybe he befriended me because it says I'm in a relationship. With Jesus LOL.
Click to expand...
Most guys I know wouldn't FB if you paid them. Hubby FB's but looks without ever responding. He found some old friends on FB because one of his old friends visited him in the hospital and mentioned he had a FB page but rarely goes. Hubby sent him a friend request three days ago, but hasn't heard back. Of course not. The guy rarely FB's. He's requested friends with other old friends and the same thing happened, probably for the same reason.

I friend-request my uncle 7 years ago. I'm still waiting for him to stumble back to FB to notice. Had he accepted three years ago, I wouldn't have noticed because I didn't go back until I needed to update family on what's going on with John. You went under the assumption people FB every day. Most guys don't FB every day. Many women don't either.
 
seed_time_harvest

seed_time_harvest

Senior Member
#95
Dec 9, 2011
13,739
1,727
113
#95
notmyown said:
have to be? no, i do try to be kind to everyone, regardless of whether or not i've received a friend request.
i feel confident i don't always achieve that goal. "But God"... two favorite Bible words that remind me to keep at it.

first joined in 2012 and i still haven't taken the time to learn how to send one, though. :eek:
(technological idiot lol!)

how about you, s_t_h? how do you deal with friend requests? :)
Click to expand...
I will be honest;I have a tendency to treat those on my friends list with longsuffering and I know I need to change that.:eek:
 
notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#96
May 26, 2016
4,707
1,132
113
#96
Depleted said:
I've never seen Veggie Tales. I admit to Mr. Roger's, Electric Factory, and Sesame Street, but because my brother was from that first era of kids watching them. He's 49, so no more excuses to watch kids shows. Should I take the plunge and watch one, now that hubby isn't here to rightfully roll his eyes?
Click to expand...
you should! the older ones are best, before they got bought by a company that now makes Veggie Tales minus the Bible, kinda.

just have a listen. Madame Blueberry is obsessed with Stuff-Mart. :rolleyes:

and then there's this little girl. (you can see the whole video at youtube)

[video=youtube;a0InbeErmlU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0InbeErmlU[/video]


(i sincerely hope being thankful to God isn't as tremendous a derail as it seems :eek:)
 
seed_time_harvest

seed_time_harvest

Senior Member
#97
Dec 9, 2011
13,739
1,727
113
#97
AbigailZeke said:
I used to and it got me into sorts of problems. See, to us, accepting friend request doesn't mean anything, but to some... especially younger men, it can mean anything. It can mean to them "we're friends, and so you can pm me and express your interest in me, even if you're obviously a troll, or that I have no idea who you are and never stop pm'ing me until I block or report you" or something like that.

Since then, I only accept requests from people I recognise (even people I haven't talked to before, but have seen in the forums and know that they're not trolls). If they're not in my friend's list that means they won't be able to contact me privately and I prefer it that way. Better safe than sorry!

I do think, this is something more important to women.
Click to expand...
very,VERY well said.:)
 
notmyown

notmyown

Senior Member
#98
May 26, 2016
4,707
1,132
113
#98
seed_time_harvest said:
I will be honest;I have a tendency to treat those on my friends list with longsuffering and I know I need to change that.:eek:
Click to expand...
it's nice you're longsuffering with your friends. :)

i feel like you treat me as a friend, though we're not on a list. ♥
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#99
#99
seed_time_harvest said:
I will be honest;I have a tendency to treat those on my friends list with longsuffering and I know I need to change that.:eek:
Click to expand...
I admit, I'm politer. But I'm politer because it was already established I liked them, therefore they are my friends.
 
M

Messy

Banned
#100
May 26, 2016
545
3
0
#100
Depleted said:
Most guys I know wouldn't FB if you paid them. Hubby FB's but looks without ever responding. He found some old friends on FB because one of his old friends visited him in the hospital and mentioned he had a FB page but rarely goes. Hubby sent him a friend request three days ago, but hasn't heard back. Of course not. The guy rarely FB's. He's requested friends with other old friends and the same thing happened, probably for the same reason.

I friend-request my uncle 7 years ago. I'm still waiting for him to stumble back to FB to notice. Had he accepted three years ago, I wouldn't have noticed because I didn't go back until I needed to update family on what's going on with John. You went under the assumption people FB every day. Most guys don't FB every day. Many women don't either.
Click to expand...
Yes it depends. I was so smart to look at that. He posts every day. It's mostly singles that use Facebook and we have a group of Dutch christians who connect that way, without most even knowing each other personal. First I accepted everyone from that group, but some scammers sneeked in who wanted money. Almost sent it to one in Pakistan or something, until I saw that it was from a scammer, not a girl with an orphanage, who the pics were from.
 
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