racist coworker

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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#41
Aug 13, 2014
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#41
Dude653 said:
Typically racism is a learned behavior but you have to want to unlearn it. It just never made any sense to me. I can still remember this like it was yesterday... when we were kids, one of my cousins went down the street to play with his little black girl and her mom made a huge deal out of it.."she was down there playing with that little black girl"... and I'm sitting there thinking yeah? so what?. I have the same problem with racist as I do with religious bigots. They can't comprehend the fact that other people don't think like them
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Quote from... someone, I forget who. "Racism isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn. I have a two year old son. Know what he hates? Nap time. End of list."
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#42
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
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#42
Lynx said:
Quote from... someone, I forget who. "Racism isn't something you're born with, it's something you learn. I have a two year old son. Know what he hates? Nap time. End of list."
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I believe that was Denis Leary
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#43
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
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#43
Dude653 said:
Typically racism is a learned behavior but you have to want to unlearn it. It just never made any sense to me. I can still remember this like it was yesterday... when we were kids, one of my cousins went down the street to play with his little black girl and her mom made a huge deal out of it.."she was down there playing with that little black girl"... and I'm sitting there thinking yeah? so what?. I have the same problem with racist as I do with religious bigots. They can't comprehend the fact that other people don't think like them
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But you have no idea HOW this man thinks. You won't even talk to him about it. His mother or little sister may have been raped by a Black man. You don't know. You have just decided to hate him and call him names because he used a word you don't like.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#44
#44
They weren't hanging out at a football game...he was at work about to leave. A football team with black players came into their work place...the guy made the comment.

He was wrong and should NOT talk trash about customers.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#45
#45
Dude653 said:
A couple days ago, a football team and their cheerleaders came in from Memphis. Probably around 50 people or so. So as I'm on my way out the door one of my co-workers looks at me and says.."look at that sh**"... I said yeah a football team... then he says "buncha ****in ni**ers"... I wanted to punch him in the face but rather than lose my job I just walked away. I came back to work the next day and reported this to management. I felt like it was the right thing to do because that was completely unacceptable workplace Behavior. Also I have numerous black co-workers see if I hold in high regard and I feel like they should know what he really is.... it's pretty disappointing when someone you thought was cool turns out to be a big jerk
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The whole story took place at his WORK.
 
A

Adstar

Senior Member
#46
Jul 24, 2016
7,426
3,479
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#46
Dude653 said:
A couple days ago, a football team and their cheerleaders came in from Memphis. Probably around 50 people or so. So as I'm on my way out the door one of my co-workers looks at me and says.."look at that sh**"... I said yeah a football team... then he says "buncha ****in ni**ers"... I wanted to punch him in the face but rather than lose my job I just walked away. I came back to work the next day and reported this to management. I felt like it was the right thing to do because that was completely unacceptable workplace Behavior. Also I have numerous black co-workers see if I hold in high regard and I feel like they should know what he really is.... it's pretty disappointing when someone you thought was cool turns out to be a big jerk
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You should have come back to him later when you had regained your self control and tried to talk to him with genuine caring concern for him... Who knows after some time you may have won him over to what is right.. Sadly you seem to have allowed your anger to get the better of you and have revealed what he sad to your fellow workers.. That is only going to cause more strife and anger and possible violent reactions.. in fact more sin. Telling the management may end up in this guy getting fired.. You can be assured that will only make him hate black people even more and may cause him to act out his anger in a more direct way against people in the black community..
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#47
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
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#47
Adstar said:
You should have come back to him later when you had regained your self control and tried to talk to him with genuine caring concern for him... Who knows after some time you may have won him over to what is right.. Sadly you seem to have allowed your anger to get the better of you and have revealed what he sad to your fellow workers.. That is only going to cause more strife and anger and possible violent reactions.. in fact more sin. Telling the management may end up in this guy getting fired.. You can be assured that will only make him hate black people even more and may cause him to act out his anger in a more direct way against people in the black community..
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He needs to learn that this is unacceptable Behavior. What made him think it was acceptable to use such language in my presence?
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#48
Feb 7, 2015
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#48
Dude653 said:
He needs to learn that this is unacceptable Behavior. What made him think it was acceptable to use such language in my presence?
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So, I think we are getting closer to the truth. You couldn't care less about his possible past hurts that affect his perceptions of Blacks.... you just want to control his language so you feel comfortable with everything he says?
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#49
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
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#49
Willie-T said:
So, I think we are getting closer to the truth. You couldn't care less about his possible past hurts that affect his perceptions of Blacks.... you just want to control his language so you feel comfortable with everything

If he felt comfortable saying the n word in my presence then he must have assumed that I think like that way as well. Guess he learned that lesson the hard way this time
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Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#50
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#50
Dude653 said:
Willie-T said:
So, I think we are getting closer to the truth. You couldn't care less about his possible past hurts that affect his perceptions of Blacks.... you just want to control his language so you feel comfortable with everything he says.
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If he felt comfortable saying the n word in my presence then he must have assumed that I think like that way as well. Guess he learned that lesson the hard way this time
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I'll take that as a , "Yes, I don't care about him."

But isn't it interesting that you don't think it is the least bit alright for him to do exactly the same thing, and not care about you?
 
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Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#51
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
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#51
Willie-T said:
I'll take that as a , "Yes, I don't care about him."

But isn't it interesting that you don't think it is the least bit alright for him to do exactly the same thing, and not care about you?
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That language is not acceptable. This isn't the 1950s. If it takes him being written up to learn that then chalk it up as a life lesson
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#52
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
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#52
Dude653 said:
That language is not acceptable. This isn't the 1950s. If it takes him being written up to learn that then chalk it up as a life lesson
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You, in your presumption to be his teacher, have only reinforced his ideas about Blacks. All you have done is played right into Obama's hands, and helped promote racism.
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#53
#53
Dude653 said:
nah.. that would be absolutely out of the question. I cannot and will not be friends with someone who is racist
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you are being exactly what you see in him

he has become a lost cause to you

you don't have to be bosom buddies to be honest with someone...you were not honest and basically just stool pigeon-ed him, most likely hoping the chain of command would deal with what you did not have the honesty to deal with
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#54
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
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#54
LaurenTM said:
you are being exactly what you see in him

he has become a lost cause to you

with
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Pretty much. Once I learn someone is like that then I keep my distance from them. I have a step brother who I have not seen in years nor do I care to because hes a textbook example of a sociopath.. sometimes people ask me where he is... and I reply I don't know and I don't care. Probably dead or in jail somewhere
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#55
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
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#55
If you don't have a heart that can be touched with this kind of reasoning, Dude, let's go with a purely selfish motive. I assume that is your wife in the pic. Or, at least someone you care about. Am I right?

Suppose, someday, she is in a dangerous situation of some kind... Oh, to keep it neutral, say a dog attack... And the only person nearby is this fellow. Would you want him to have a favorable perception of Black people, and fight the dog off... OR would you prefer for him to remember how you cost him his job (if that happens) over a remark about Black people, and to just turn his back and walk away?

This is not meant to hurt you.
This is merely the real future we each may have before us if all we ever do is escalate this nastiness of racial hatred.
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#56
Apr 22, 2013
12,956
8,671
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#56
Instead of showing this person love, and maybe saying something like, "Look, that's an offensive word and I love black people, so please don't say that around me. And by the way I love all people because of Jesus Christ, do you know Him?", you have succeeded in making an enemy, and if he knows you are Christian, he now thinks he can never trust a Christian.

I am SURE you have done and said all sorts of horrible things in your life. I bet you wouldn't be happy if someone judged your whole life over an ignorant comment or deed.
 
L

LaurenTM

Guest
#57
#57
Dude653 said:
Pretty much. Once I learn someone is like that then I keep my distance from them. I have a step brother who I have not seen in years nor do I care to because hes a textbook example of a sociopath.. sometimes people ask me where he is... and I reply I don't know and I don't care. Probably dead or in jail somewhere
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what goes around......................
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#58
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
1,039
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#58
LaurenTM said:
what goes around......................
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I remember few years ago I thought I would extend an olive branch and give him another chance so I sent him a friend request on Facebook. I remember I made some post about looking for a lighter or something.. I think I was trying to light a candle if I remember correctly. So he popped up trying to be cute and comments...smoking again?..ha ha... as if it would be humorous to him if I were to go back to smoking. Like I said he's a sociopath so he takes pleasure in antagonizing others... so I thought okay you clearly have not changed a bit and I blocked him
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#59
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#59
Dude653 said:
Pretty much. Once I learn someone is like that then I keep my distance from them. I have a step brother who I have not seen in years nor do I care to because hes a textbook example of a sociopath.. sometimes people ask me where he is... and I reply I don't know and I don't care. Probably dead or in jail somewhere
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I hope you're not equaling a racist to a sociopath? Do you even know what makes a sociopath? People throw these terms around loosely (sociopath. Antisocial. Depression.) yet they don't know what they even really mean. I suggest you take a look at the DSM-5 before you start labeling anyone a sociopath, especially if you try to parallel racism and sociopaths together.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#60
Mar 19, 2011
12,312
1,039
113
#60
jsr1221 said:
I hope you're not equaling a racist to a sociopath? Do you even know what makes a sociopath? People throw these terms around loosely (sociopath. Antisocial. Depression.) yet they don't know what they even really mean. I suggest you take a look at the DSM-5 before you start labeling anyone a sociopath, especially if you try to parallel racism and sociopaths together.
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A sociopath is someone who doesn't feel pity or remorse. They have no conscience and don't care about who they hurt. As I mentioned earlier typically they also take pleasure in antagonizing others.
 
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