Sleeping together?
- Thread starter Willie-T
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I'm not out of sorts. Even though it makes me seem like a hypocrite since I've engaged in sex, I'd love to meet a woman who had saved herself for the man she loved, so the two of them could be of one flesh without a lot of ghosts in the bedroom. You're a rare commodity. Never be ashamed you haven't lived as a secular person.
I just don't see how any Christian can reconcile sleeping with someone if they are not married.
I went to NYC about 6 weeks ago, I slept with my ex wife. I am still disappointed with myself, still working past it
Now when I go to the city, if I see her, we stay far away from her place. Just public places for us.
So while I am using a personal instance as an example, it could apply to any Christian. While Christians may slip, how can they rationale it away and how can they continue to repeat the same sin on a continual basis knowing and being what they are, who they are?
Is the guilt and separation from God worth it?
I went to NYC about 6 weeks ago, I slept with my ex wife. I am still disappointed with myself, still working past it
Now when I go to the city, if I see her, we stay far away from her place. Just public places for us.
So while I am using a personal instance as an example, it could apply to any Christian. While Christians may slip, how can they rationale it away and how can they continue to repeat the same sin on a continual basis knowing and being what they are, who they are?
Is the guilt and separation from God worth it?
I just want to say to many of you 30, 40, 50, 60 year-olds who have the guts to admit to a lot of mistakes down through the years... Thank You.
My main concern in life has always been kids, not really the older generation. And it doesn't stop with just the little ones. Teenagers are often even more susceptible to the damage wrought by the unbelievable line of crap some people try to feed them about how they "just asked God to help them, read their bibles" and everything suddenly became hunky-dory. They know it didn't happen overnight like that, yet they attempt to feed that nonsense to them, and when it isn't instantly working for the kids as they hear some adults telling them it would "IF they truly loved God," what happens to their very fragile fledgling faith?
Anyway I'm trying to stay off the soapbox. So, I'll end this by saying that I know our kids here are seeing the mark of true honest Christianity in your admission of things you would rather have people think never even crossed your minds. You're some pretty neat role models....... because you're the real deal. And you have risked embarrassment to show our kids that we are all human.
My main concern in life has always been kids, not really the older generation. And it doesn't stop with just the little ones. Teenagers are often even more susceptible to the damage wrought by the unbelievable line of crap some people try to feed them about how they "just asked God to help them, read their bibles" and everything suddenly became hunky-dory. They know it didn't happen overnight like that, yet they attempt to feed that nonsense to them, and when it isn't instantly working for the kids as they hear some adults telling them it would "IF they truly loved God," what happens to their very fragile fledgling faith?
Anyway I'm trying to stay off the soapbox. So, I'll end this by saying that I know our kids here are seeing the mark of true honest Christianity in your admission of things you would rather have people think never even crossed your minds. You're some pretty neat role models....... because you're the real deal. And you have risked embarrassment to show our kids that we are all human.
Thanks for your response! I appreciate your thoughts. Though, I must disclose that I lived as secular person for 20+ years. So you can hold your applause 
Now I understand why being in sync with Scripture's teaching on the issue of abstinence until marriage doesn't give you encouragement.
There are, however, "secular" reasons to wait:
-No STDs.
-No past experiences to bring into marriage.
-The desire for the gratification of sex learned/experienced in pre-marital sex does not have to be dealt with.
-You are able to tell your spouse that you have waited exclusively for him.
-Unless you're married, sexual relations could potentially be with a man that could become another woman's husband.
-Sex has a "bonding" effect. Doing it before marriage can fog one's thoughts and emotions and cause one to marry the wrong person. With the divorce rate being over 40% in the USA, I wonder how often pre-marital sex has seriously impaired people's decision to get married.
I understand how you feel. We live in a world now that sex is no big thing. But really it's such a personal thing between a Husband and Wife. I don't think I could stand up in front of a room of strangers and talk about my experiences. In fact I don't know if I've ever shared this much on Cc before, but I'm ok with it.
I have confided in a close friend before but I've been in the company of other people who talk about their sex lives likes it's the national news. Those are the times when I want to hide under the table.
Your body is your business and if you want to share your thoughts about virginity with someone who might benefit from hearing it then great, if not that's okay. Not all of us are comfortable doing that.
T
I totally understand the temptation, but I want to wait for marriage. There's definitely a disassociative identity between many young people's faith and their sexual identity. I imagine that has a large part to play in why this is so common in the Church. Also, many people who call themselves Christians don't believe the Bible is authoritative, so they do what feels good. I understand that temptation, but I don't think it's a healthy mindset.
I promised myself I was done replying to anything serious on this thread....but...
Thank you. I'm sorry the thread got out of hand, I'm sorry you were frustrated, and I'm sorry you feel the need to cut back on posting or whatever... but thank you.
Realizing that you, of all people, hadn't lived a perfectly perfect life made me hopeful that God can not only forgivr and forget but still make something out me....failures and all.
Thank you. I'm sorry the thread got out of hand, I'm sorry you were frustrated, and I'm sorry you feel the need to cut back on posting or whatever... but thank you.
Realizing that you, of all people, hadn't lived a perfectly perfect life made me hopeful that God can not only forgivr and forget but still make something out me....failures and all.
Oh, m'Man! If you only knew. I'll freely tell you a lot of bad things because I have gotten used to doing that with the guys I have worked with for decades. But I have done SO much filthy stuff that it even makes me blush sometimes.
I'm telling you enough so that you know you don't have a thing to sweat. But if you can name the crime, I've probably done it. (Yes, those first three or four that instantly went through your mind, the biggies.) Doesn't matter if it was supposedly self-defense... or to other gang members...or wartime... or if she and I were both drunk... or whatever, it was still my responsibility not to have done those things.
Yet, if I was to die today, I have none of the fear of what is beyond as I used to carry for years. And that doesn't come from just conning yourself in your mind. And, the cool thing is that you get to START your life with that freedom without ever having to load your conscience with any of the horrible baggage of shame and guilt I carried for years.
I'm telling you enough so that you know you don't have a thing to sweat. But if you can name the crime, I've probably done it. (Yes, those first three or four that instantly went through your mind, the biggies.) Doesn't matter if it was supposedly self-defense... or to other gang members...or wartime... or if she and I were both drunk... or whatever, it was still my responsibility not to have done those things.
Yet, if I was to die today, I have none of the fear of what is beyond as I used to carry for years. And that doesn't come from just conning yourself in your mind. And, the cool thing is that you get to START your life with that freedom without ever having to load your conscience with any of the horrible baggage of shame and guilt I carried for years.