I'm still not graceful enough to warrant the "we" in what you think Christians do. The reason I kept myself for the one I would marry, (and remember, I didn't make it to the wedding), was more along the lines of toothbrush philosophy. The idea of passing myself along a row of guys is like passing along my toothbrush. That singular toothbrush has to last the rest of my life and I thought it was pretty disgusting to give it to so many others to use, before needing it myself. Love-making is so intimate, I just didn't want a worn out toothbrush knowing what it would do to my whole body.
When I was 31 years old, my husband's 17 year old daughter moved in with us for a few months. One night, when hubby wasn't home, she said, "Ooo, let's talk about sex."
I told her the truth. "I don't know anything about sex. I know about making love. Even when you get to the point of knowing the difference, we won't be talking about it, since it's your father I'm talking about."
I know she was hoping to shock me. I got to her age in 1973, so easy-sex was the culture. In 1974, I went to college and stayed in a house with six roommates and all but one was a junior, so, at least 20 years old. (I was the only freshman. The other one who wasn't a junior, also wasn't a college student. He was a state cop engaged to a junior, but waiting for her to graduate before they married.) At the beginning of the school year all but two were virgins. By the time the other roommates graduated, none were.
I really do get the allure of sex. I still think of it as using someone else's dirty toothbrush. I know I'm supposed to have some big noble God-given desire to stay chase with everyone but my husband, but the truth is it still comes down to I'm not using someone else's old toothbrush. I know where his toothbrush has been. It's ours now and belongs in the family toothbrush holder. Not in the toilet. Ours alone!
It's more about not wanting to debase myself into someone else's sex toy. I'm not a thing to play with. I'm a person.