Regret

No all Christians are not sexually frustrated. Your wife has a hang up about sex. How is that GOD'S fault? Good on you for waiting until marriage. Maybe this is a topic that you should discuss with your wife, as to why she is so averse to having sex. Some people just don't like sex, for whatever reason. That is NOT God's fault..

So instead of pithing and moaning about your lack of sex, try to look for any blessings that being celibate for so long, has brought you. And try to change your attitude, it really sucks..

I think this is far from the case. It is only that you perceive it to be so.

Well Yes,
In fact I do blame god!
I prayed, with others, in my church, for god to advise. I trusted that god would guide me in this very important decision.
I'm not complaining about my wife, I love her!
What I'm saying is that I regret that I did not take advantage of opportunities before marriage like everybody else did.
Even though it was horrible for you, at least you experienced it and had the chance to decide for yourself that it's not for you!
I'm curious, why was it so bad anyway?
Just wondering.
Why would god create a desire for something so natural and then condem it?
Doesn't make sense!

In my case, my first boyfriend raped me. Tied me up, gagged me and raped me. That turned me off to sex pretty much from then on.. Maybe your wife went through something like that, before you met her. Or she just doesn't have the hunger for sex that you seem to have.. God doesn't condemn sex between spouses. It isn't God's fault that your wife doesn't care for sex. And what doesn't make sense to me, is the fact that rapists and molestors get to do this to women and make them averse to something that should otherwise be pleasurable.

So, I should be glad?
What is an example of a "Blessing of Celibate"?
Please,
Help me understand what your saying.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend did that.
But you can hardly blame every man for it and honestly believe that anybody you trust again will do the same.
Could it be that a lack of forgiveness is causing you to not experience one of life's pleasures?
Are you still in contact with this guy? Why?
I hear this story a lot in the Christian community. I don't understand why that one horrible episode ruined the whole balance of your sex life.

Well, for me personally, it would be that I have more time to focus on me and my relationship with God. I never did that while I had a boyfriend. All I did was what I wanted to do, instead of what GOD wanted me to do. Maybe God is trying to get you to understand WHY your wife is so averse to having sex. Stop trying to blame God, start listening to Him and talk with your wife and find out what the problem is. I know you love her, so try to gently talk to her, tell her your concerns, and hopefully she'll open up and talk to you.

Oh no, I don't blame EVERY man for what happened. I went on to have 3 more relationships. The next 2 were sex addicts who always pushed me for it, whether I wanted to or not. And my last relationship was physically abusive, so I got out of that real quick.. I've always been a person who never particularly cared about having sex. I CAN live without it, whereas a few of my exes can't.. lol

Except for my last relationship, they all cheated on me. And today, they're all married to others, and they're STILL cheating.. And that's another blessing of me being celibate--no more getting cheated on or abused. I'm very happy and content being single.

Bless you ladybug, you have been through so much.

You know, I had a similar experience with my hubby. I waited until I was married. And our sex life has, honestly, not been great. IDK, just not that great. And, I'll admit, there have been times when I've been frustrated and blamed God just like you.

But, you know, there are SOOOOO many other things about our marriage that are SOOOOO great. I would never have someone else just because our sex life is not spectacular. Here is what I suggest:

1. Go to a Christian counselor together and see if there is some underlying cause for the sexual dysfunction between you.

2. Rejoice in the wonderful things you have together. You say you love her. GREAT! Focus on the loving relationship you have together. Cherish each other. There are plenty of couples who would gladly give up the sex for a loving marriage.

But know this: God intended sex between a married couple to be pleasurable and enjoyable. If it isn't, then it's not God's fault. The fault lies somewhere in our sin nature -- something, somewhere is misfiring. God didn't cause it. So now it's up to you: Do you simply whine and complain or do you get up and do something about it? Start with prayer and ask God for guidance, then take some action.

NOOOOO.. That was back in 1993, and I haven't had contact with him since then. Don't care to either.He is the scum of the earth, and he went on to do it to others.. Truly amazed no one has put a bullet in him yet, because he is very much hated where he lives.. Have I forgiven him? YES. Please read my rape testimony in the Testimonies forum. I'll pull it forward for you. I urge you to read TemporaryCircumstance's testimony also. She is only 14 but is very wise for her age, and has been through more crap in her life, than anyone here will go through in their entire lifetime..

Who exactly tricked you into believing that you should refrain from sex till marriage? I take it that you are not happily married, especially to your second wife.

I don't understand this reward for being celibate until marriage. What does that have you do with your present stage of unhappiness?

Glad to have you join us. Welcome to CC.

Ok, I get it!
So what are the blessings of celibacy that I am not realizing?
Believe me, I don't like living with regret.
I want to trust god again and believe that he hears MY prayers. Knowing that god answers everybody else's prayer doesn't help me to understand why I'm forced into celibacy.
This is not about my wife or my marriage. sure we talk about it, she doesn't like it, I don't force it on her, that's it.
I did not choose celibacy for myself and I don't like it.

Let me get this straight. You have been married twice, for a total of 22 years and both wives didn't want to have sex with you. Were you celibate this whole time? Who told you that sex is sin? It certainly doesn't say this in the bible. No wonder you have regrets, but this is due to your lack of understanding about basic biblical concepts. Your story is really strange.

I don't think that Ugly said he had sex only once, only that he regrets losing his virginity at age of 13 in a sexual encounter outside of marriage. Regardless, I agree with what he wrote.

It's certainly not hated in by any Christian that I know.

22 + 13 years of marriage.
My first marriage was a product of poor communication. We lived separate lives, but get along fine now that we are both remarried.
My current wife is not the issue here. As I said repeatedly, she doesn't like sex and I don't force her.
I'm not unhappy with her at all.
Again, my regret is abstinence before marriage.
I wish I could do it over again.
My abstinence caused regret and separated me from god!

No you don't.
No. You. Do. Not.
If you wanted to trust Gd again you would at least try no matter what stands in your way.

You wanna talk to me about sex? Yeah? You want to go there?
I have a whole story about me that no one on here knows, I KNOW HOW DESIRABLE SEX CAN BE. THAT IS NOT GOD'S FAULT!

He answers your prayers as well, just sometimes the answer is no....

When I was little I used to get on my knees and pray for an hour every night for my father's abuse to stop, to be loved by my family. Did his abuse stopped? Nope. Did I become loved? No.
Did God answer my prayers? Yup. But the answer was no.

It is hard to see how much he is helping. I get it, I've been there and back more than once. I understand more than you think I do, and that is true for many.

I can understand how your frustrated. You feel like you've been so loyal, and good by abiding to God's laws or rules for us.
But let's just think about this....

Have you read the book of Job?
If so,
Job was very loyal to God, tried to abide to his laws, a very good Christian.
What happened to him?
EVERYTHING was taken away. Was it because God hated him? No. Of course not.

Maybe, this is a test for you to stay loyal to God in the tough times as well. It's hard, one of the hardest things you'll do, but nothing will change otherwise, and I'm sorry but that's the truth

Sin (which is what you wish you would've done) also causes separation from God. None that you can't fix of course, but the separation you have now isn't something you can't fix no matter how difficult it may seem

Thank you Lady Blue ♡