D
Derek, my older brother, responded to my text. I did reach out to him afterwards. I basically just said, "Thanks for all that you did to make today happen! Sorry, but I just can't stay! Love you. And I want to just say, I hope you are not mad. I tried saying bye to you but could tell you were a bit upset. I did not mean to make you upset. I needed to do this for myself and still wanted to make that appearance to show that excitement and respect. I do love you!"
He responded with, "Ok. I think we need to talk at some point."
I've been crying all day yesterday and I called my mentors. They became really close to me a year and a half ago and they aren't that much older than me but I see them as my spiritual parents and they have been nothing but supportive.
They suggested that I write out a letter to my parents and send it to them to let them know that I am in fact pulling away. And to Derek and Lauren (Lauren is Derek's wife), to write a letter but actually sit down with Derek and Lauren and read it to them.
I feel emotionally sick. I'm sad and heartbroken.
IN all honesty, I don't care if I hurt my dad. He is merely a man that has been placed in my life. But, my Mom, on the other hand....I'm crushed and hurt that I'm walking away from her. But, I need to. I need to in order to get better. She is the NICEST woman you'll ever meet. However, I have so much anger towards her for choosing my Dad over me. For looking at me being abused and turning her head. I can't have someone like that in my life. Yes, she may not have abused me but allowing the abuse to happen is abuse in itself.
He responded with, "Ok. I think we need to talk at some point."
I've been crying all day yesterday and I called my mentors. They became really close to me a year and a half ago and they aren't that much older than me but I see them as my spiritual parents and they have been nothing but supportive.
They suggested that I write out a letter to my parents and send it to them to let them know that I am in fact pulling away. And to Derek and Lauren (Lauren is Derek's wife), to write a letter but actually sit down with Derek and Lauren and read it to them.
I feel emotionally sick. I'm sad and heartbroken.
IN all honesty, I don't care if I hurt my dad. He is merely a man that has been placed in my life. But, my Mom, on the other hand....I'm crushed and hurt that I'm walking away from her. But, I need to. I need to in order to get better. She is the NICEST woman you'll ever meet. However, I have so much anger towards her for choosing my Dad over me. For looking at me being abused and turning her head. I can't have someone like that in my life. Yes, she may not have abused me but allowing the abuse to happen is abuse in itself.
(Most of my life has been around guys, so I honestly understand guy-talk better than gal-talk.)
We don't know each other well enough for me to say anything about the rest of what you wrote, but I can tell you this -- you really are a stronger woman than I am.