Suicide / Depression or Demon?

Hello Brothers and Sisters.

I feel like I'm dying. I have High Blood preassure, I barely can sleep, my Heart feels like it's burning with Hate in it.

I'm losing weight, I'm not in my Country... I will only be back in June and only for 18 days, so that means I cannot see a Doctor, because I do not have one here yet.

I'm feeling pretty much Weird and Empty. I used to be a happy, "beautiful" and funny young man. Now I don't feel like I used to.
Just so you know, I used to be always looking at girls and stuff ( pretty normal for a 21's year old boy ), now I look and I do not feel anything, so, looks like I lost my "sexual desire" too. And I'm feeling like this at a Month or so!
And so you know, I went to Poland last week in Holidays to see if i "Destressed", I drank alcohol every night ( not to get drunk , just a few beers 4 to 5 and a shot ) , I had this beautiful girl, sleeping right next to my sleeping bag, always "hugging" me and try to kiss me and stuff.
And I was just there, looking at the Wooden Roof, feeling like Empty, waiting for the Sun, feeling my Heart burning with anger.

People, that's not normal I guess, 2 months a go I believe just by the fact that I had a girl sleeping at my rightside I would at least get "excited"!!

And the thing is, I cannot go to a Psychologist or something, because I cannot take any pills, ( long story ), so... yeah.

Do I have a Demon in me? Actually I believe that I saw an horror movie where the guy said some words in some weird language, and then I felt like this , Or maybe I was already feeling like it, can't remember, but just trying to find a "REASON".

So pleaseeeee, my Brothers, I already prayed a lot, and I do not have the strength to continue praying anymore, I feel like I'm fading away, empty, no happiness, no joy, always Stressed and Angry, feeling like punching everyone.

So pleaseee, Help me! Pray for me! I don't know if I can handle one month until I go to an Hospital, I'm just so Tired of my Life at the moment.

I forgot to write something, I do feel like I'm not happy anymore, I wrote there Suicide, because I don't know, I do not feel like a normal Person anymore, I believe a Person has dreams, ambitions and I do not have it anymore, and that's what it kept me "Alive", I do not even feel like God cares of me. Looks like I am Forsaken, I know I did a lot of things wrong, but I already asked for forgiveness!

I'm slowly fading away, my Faith is so weak, that can only be seen by microscope.


That's it. Thank you Everyone that is reading this.

I think you need to see someone don't you? You could wait...and feel worse, you do have choices, just maybe not a good selection . It's great you are praying, thing is, we need to live our lives under Gods authority daily, so when we hit tough times, we are built up in the Word, prepared for battle. You sound weak...and frightened. When we pray we are built up, energized....not further exhausted, so it sounds like you need support and guidance regarding your relationship with Christ. Read your Bible and ask God to guide you, strengthen you and give you peace. Stop the alcohol....it really will not help at all. God does not want this, He wants you whole. He is a God of power and love, not fear. Is there someone you can talk to? A church you could go too? You mention you cannot take medication...so there is more to this story and your situation, it really would be helpful to meet and talk to someone in person. You want to be safe and also not harm anyone else....I know many will join me in praying you will source appropriate help soon. God Bless you, protect you and lead you to safety. <><

I know, and no, I do not have anyone here to speak to. I do not have a Church, or anyone that I trust where I am at the moment.

And yeah, I'm so exhausted, try to think, spending every night looking at walls, television, internet, houses, etc.
Feel no happiness at all. Feel no love, feel no pleasure in any way, not even when eating McDonalds.

And yeah, I'm exhausted, I'm tired of everything man, specially my Life. :\
You don't know what I'm feeling , It's horrible. It's like a Prison.


P.S: And just in Case that I actually commit suicide just do not worry about me, I always loved to dive in an ocean, feel the sun touching my face, and see it shinning through the waters.

Hi iRuben, we have no idea what exactly you are feeling and you are totally right about that, you know better and so does God. But one thing we can totally do is pray all of us together to God and ask him for comfort for you!! we can start with that Then the next day you think of what else we can pray for and we'll keep it going.

Do not lose hope brother, God and his plan are at works in our lives at all times and believe me you will feel the fulfillment of being loved by him... stand strong during this chapter of your life for it will shape you... you are already here talking to us, this shows a lot of strength !!

If you come up with any other ideas or need someone to talk to, you let me know and i'll be happy to be there for you and i am sure many others as well!! God Bless you Friend!!

I am not sure what you are doing where you are right now...but you have your physical health, if not too happy in your mind right now....so you could get yourself out, out into the fresh air. Walk, run, look and see what you could do....focus out, not in. Depression is a chain around you but you are the only person who can decide to wrestle those chains off. The prison is only in your mind, the biggest battle you have...is in your mind. You do not talk of Christ...I suspect you do not have a close relationship with Him....because you know no Christian you can talk to....So, your path to healing lies with Him. He holds wide open the doors to your prison. Do not lie there looking at the walls, instead, look to what you can do, you can take that small step?
Also, please do not make such comments regarding taking your life so glibly, your life is so very precious, you have so much to give and to recieve. If you really do love to dive in the ocean, feel the sun on your face....get up, and get going!! You have a life to live. You are so blessed to be able to do these things, never take life for granted, it is given to you, use each day you are given well and give thanks for it God Bless you. <><

I most certainly will pray or you. But it seems clear that you do need professional help , which in fact does not depend on you getting medication. If we had cancer we would pray that God would see fit to alleviate it but we would also try to ensure that we obtained the right trreatment at he right time. Try to remember that depression is feeding you false thoughts and that despite how it is making you feel it is totally curable. I have a friend who touched rock bottom like you seem to be doing but who has made a full recovery. Do not despair.

Remember, the enemy comes to steal and destroy and that's what it sounds like he's doing to you. Job trials are a beyotch, but remember what God gave back to Job when the trial was through. Persevere in God and it will eventually be for good.

iRubin, all that you described can fall easly under several medical conditions, and be easly treated.
You say you cannot se a dr for a month?
I hope you will try anyway, doesnt matter if you know the dr, only matters that the dr knows what to do for you.
Ill be praying for you in Jesus, for all the streangth, help , healing and joy of Jesus to sustain you untill you see a dr.
So go see a dr!

God bless
pickles

Pray a lot to God for His forgiveness. Repent of everything. stop to do all the evil things (sins). You really need to repent because that is spiritually death. It is true, ---your soul is dying. Who can say not if you never have died like that??? I dead like you but even worse! I totally understand and know whay you are going through.
How is your reflection when you see yourself in the mirror??? What else have you done? He needs to set you free, I mean, just Jesus can do it. You really need to repent. I am not sure if you ever have recieved Him but, (and I am not judging you) for what yourself have said that is bad...and sorry but you went to let demons have dominion in you because those words that you could not understand in that dark movie have a meaning. But nothing is impossible for God and thank God you have come to the right place and you need to find one quickly. Find a Christian church or Messianic does not matter but make sure that the Lord of that congregation is Jesus/Yeshua the Messiah. He will take you to the Father and cover you of everything paying for your deliverance as well. The Pastor and the brothers will do their part in you interceding and praying for you. You need to be in their hands soon.

And please, pray to God, read Psalms and specially the Psalms 6, 38, 39, 51...be strong and wait for the Lord.
If you can't go to the church as you said or find it right now, call them and talk with the Pastor and He will pray for you on the phone. Talk with him about all you have in your heart, how you feel...what you have done...
Do not be afraid and trust in God. But find some Christian in person who can lead you to Jesus/Yeshua the Savior o recieve Him yourself wherever you are when you are praying letting Him come into your heart and believing that He has paid and died in your place. Ask for the forgiveness of your sins saying maybe some like this,

Lord Jesus, at this very time I open the door of my heart to you and I recieve you. Please come in and save me. I know and I believe that you have dead for me to save me and give me your Eternal life. I need you so much. Please help me and forgive all my sins. I repent, I repent and I am turning back from my ways now. I don[t understand very well what is going on with me right now but you only can save me and let me know later after all this passe away...please, make me clean and give me a new heart, a heart of flesh and not this stone that I have right now. Please bring me back to life again. Please bring me back to life again. I want and need to live and be the happy person you want me to be and walk in the plans that the Lord have planned for me and my life. Plans for my welfare and no for evil. (Here you can say what you would do for God for the rest of your life when you beg to God for your life...example, let me live again and I will work only for you, be saint, I will tell my family or my frinds of you forever or I won't do that (bad things, evil things, sin) anymore, ever again...etc, etc...) In your Name I pray Jesus, amen. Thank you Lord, thank you. Believe that He has came in your heart if you prayed and believed that He has died for you on the cross for you with all your heart.
I pray for you. God Bless You, God Bless You very much. He is Faithful and cares about you. He is there.

Of course, I pray for you.

And:
GOD CARES ABOUT YOU !!!!!!!
That is 100 % shure !!

You can always look for a doctor and look for a local church !

I don't know why you are away at the moment. But I guess it had something to do with a dream and/or
ambitions. Are those still true for you, or would you want to come home for good ?

And maybe if you miss home, an additional christian chat forum in your home language
might also be something for you ?

I'm praying for you.

I will pray.

That's o.k. Ruben, I will pray for you. God bless you.

iRuben? How are you doing?
Still praying for you in Jesus.

God bless
pickles

Ruben, in America we can call the police to help us when someone truly does not want to live and they help. We did that for my friend a few nights ago. She is still miserable, but she is filling her mind with the words of God. It is helping. Sometimes those words will stop high blood pressure, they are calming. They are life, itself. It is evil forces that wants bad for you, and those thoughts they give you are lies. God is truth.

You are facing illness that has to be faced, I am so glad you are doing all you can for that. But fear does not come from God. God is life, even to eternal life. You are very precious to God, and precious to this world, too.

Hello my brother in Christ
So you sound distraught .. Well there's a few things that are going on that I see..
Number one ..
Let's looks at That empty feeling you have inside ..
it's really a good thing as funny as that sounds ..
God is serious about all of us reconnecting with Him..
And the "first thing to know is that He "first " made us for (His)
Enjoyment .. Yes "first"..
if we aren't spending ebough time getting to know Him , nothing outside that is going to last very long..

Sorry I hit post before I was done.. Anyway , yeah!
So that's the first thing I see..
Second thing is .. Nothing is wring with you .. God wants us to know His love , again
"first", if we don't truly have a connection with Him and really know His love,or we have forgotten and look to outside resources we "allow" what I call
"God substitutes" .. Things or people that come around "trying to substitute" and fill the one place in our lives
"our God cup" that is "only" His to fill...
so I'm not surprised at all that empty feeling came around with that girl..
Third thing is .. Those " substitutions?" alcohol etc... These are the things many many oriole run to "first" before running to God.. Sure! They are okay for a little while , but it's just a matter of time before that "good feeling " leaves .. people run back to them again and then again and then sooner and more often , and before you know it a giant has been woken .. not realizing we have been feeding it to a point it overpowers us ..
get to know Gos more deeply for you, that will require more time with Him...
looks like he is simply tapping you on the shoulder to say "uh, hey dude, Its time we get more acquainted" .
What a Privelage !!
as far as a demon goes? Let's look at the truth about that before you go buying into some silly little lie ..
the truth is "God didn't create you with ANY of that kind if stuff in us " nope ! Sure did not!
God wants us to "know", "believe" , and most importantly. "remember" who "He" says we are..
And the truth is .. Everything He is , we are made of.. That is the truth ...
our minds are funny little playgrounds . we hear something on tv, people, radio, and that "thought" goes into our mind ..
Well the thing is .. Is it true ?? knowing who we are because we have "chosen" to believe God , keeps us from buying these lies we hear a lot.. Theres two choices "believe God or believe the lie"
Believe who God says you are OR believe you have a demon.. That choice is only yours to make .. But once you make it ..
two things will happen ... You will remain confident in the truth about who you are because God Said it , or suffer because you didn't .... okay well god lives you I pray your relationship grows with Him , that you spend more time with those who
know Him and be released of the lies you have been told ...
Blessing in Christ

One more thing ... JESUS being in you ..
Is the "authority". " in " your body.. HE is! Physical symptoms can occurs because of our belief in this area.. if we believe high blood pressure , pain, illness whatever has more authority "in" our body?
we will be given the choice to believe that .. The truth is
Nothing , nothing has more authority "in" our body than Jesus.. I'd start proclaiming that into my life .

Hi Ruben How are you doing brother? Any updates on things are progressing or doing with your life? I truly hope you been doing good and that our prayers have reached your heart.

God Bless !!