What am I?
- Thread starter Jackconstantine
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I never claimed prophet status. I would never. Tbh i dont want any of this. Not any of it. I never wanted to know without doubt god is real. I never wanted to come face to face with it. I never wanted to spend 33 years unloved, abused in ways you cant imagine, lost, hurt, gone mad, obsessed with finding out everything there is to know about god. I never wanted this life. I'd rather be ****ing dead. BECAUSE THIS LIFE AND ITS ****ING BURDENS IVE BEEN GIVEN IS SHIT. ****ING SHIT. No money. No food. Broken body. No one to rely on. 33 years of living punishment. And for ****ing what? So i can know what others dont? So i can teach them, or try to only to be ****ing judged and ridiculed just like every other ****ing day? So i can watch people love, and fall in love, and be given no ****ing choice but to love them back? To be unconditionally kind, and compassionate, regardless of the insult or injury heaped upon me? So i can spend my entire life untouched, unloved, but desperately seeking and ****ing finding ways to overcome these hurts? So i can better myself in ways i never knew existed, just so i can serve you? **** YOU. And i hope you are at peace with god, and that all your needs are met, and love reigns supreme in your life, because THAT IS THE BLOODY POINT. YOUR JOYS. YOUR HAPPINESSES. NOT MINE. Suffer for the gospel? You've got to be ****ing kidding. You've n idea what real terror, or hate, or rage is. I truly do not think. Or if you do, then i apologise. Ive fought every kind of darkness there is in mankind. EVERY TYPE. EVEN THE VERY WORST. Ive been exposed to hatreds and fears so profound they would have broken anyone not me, and frequently did. Im no ****ing holy man or prophet. Im god's ****ing loose cannon. His madman. Im here to **** shit up so we all can be at peace. Im not christ. Um not ****ing worthy of a title. False prophet i may be, that is remains to be seen. But i wish you all the love and kind days you deserve, even if you are just as arrogant and righteous as i can be.
If you are only interested in what Jesus said, the Qu'ran is not much good to you. Treating the Bible and the Qu'ran as if they are somehow comparable shows a great deal of lack of understanding. The Qu'ran teaches hate and violence. It was spread by the sword, which is the method Mohammed used right from the start. Mohammed, as the originator of the Qu'ran and idealized by Muslims and Islamists, was an adulterous war mongering pedophile. Anyone who equates Jesus Christ, the sinless Lamb of God, to such a person, is deceived to the nth degree. Pray for your deliverance from such deception. I pray for your deliverance from such deception.
I was born 11/11/1983 to a heroin addicted mum. And heroin addicted father. So my first few months alive were going through heroin withdrawals. Painful. Then my mum used to get on drugs, and leave me for days in my own body fluids, until i got abcesses, rashes, and was malnurished. Then throw me against walls to shut me up if i cried to much. By 2 i was i another abusive foster home. 4 i was adopted. The mother was abusive, the dad wasnt around. No male friends allowed, only female, because id fight anything, or anyone but females. So the gurls in my life quickly realised they could do any horrific thing to me and i'd not lash out. My baby sitter stabbed me when i was 6. She then bashed me constantly until she moved away from the area. 6 years of broken noses, fractured skulls, torn lips and deep bite marks at her hands. EVERY DAY. No one cared. Not even the police who laughed at a young boy trying to find help. Then came school bullying. Picked on by guys 2 grades above me because i was bigger. Im 6'8ft tall. Then my mum tried to kill me. AND ABOVE ALL OF THIS i was kind to all. Always compassionate and respectful. Then came the trials given to me by god. 20 years old. Just makin a name for myself as a Chef. Was given revelations out of nowhere. And alll my rage was stripped from me to leave me bare with constant terror. So began the last 13 years to overcome everything dark. Ive not ever been held. Not once in my life. Ive never felt loved, lovable, been loved. Not once. Ive never had close friends. Not for longer than 3 months. And still, i am here giving blood and soul and claiming no title, just skills, and the hope i can ease some other's burdens, and hurts. That is a brief summary. My only intention is to teach what i know is right and good, and to heal others. **** you if thats not enough or that is evil in yoir eyes. Im a good man. When i should be a bloody sociopath or murderer. God saved me for a reason.
K
Have you ever heard of Corrie Ten Boom? Check her out. She was sent to a concentration camp for hiding Jews.She lost her whole family in the Holocaust and she was the only one to survive. Her story was told in "The Hiding Place",its a movie you should check out.
Im sorry you have suffered,and its clear as day you have unresolved issues there.When pushed you become upset and angry. Im going to give you advice you're not going to like...you need to find a good church and pastor and sit under some good preaching and teaching. Then you need to find a good Christian counselor and deal with your past and heal. From someone who has been in ministry Im giving you the best advice you can find. Being in ministry is hard,very,very hard even when you are a whole person. You need to sit,listen and learn. God has plenty of soldiers in the army spreading the Word,you are not ready to be in ministry,trust me I say this for your benefit.You need to care for your own self.
Im not arrogant,Im looking past the mask and looking for the real person,the real you.The message is there,the greatest story has already been told.You really dont need to carry a burden.Its there in the Bible for all to read.You have nothing to add to it.So you can lay the burden down and heal and learn. I hope you listen to what Im saying.Think on what Im saying.If you have any maturity and discernment you will see Im right.
Im sorry you have suffered,and its clear as day you have unresolved issues there.When pushed you become upset and angry. Im going to give you advice you're not going to like...you need to find a good church and pastor and sit under some good preaching and teaching. Then you need to find a good Christian counselor and deal with your past and heal. From someone who has been in ministry Im giving you the best advice you can find. Being in ministry is hard,very,very hard even when you are a whole person. You need to sit,listen and learn. God has plenty of soldiers in the army spreading the Word,you are not ready to be in ministry,trust me I say this for your benefit.You need to care for your own self.
Im not arrogant,Im looking past the mask and looking for the real person,the real you.The message is there,the greatest story has already been told.You really dont need to carry a burden.Its there in the Bible for all to read.You have nothing to add to it.So you can lay the burden down and heal and learn. I hope you listen to what Im saying.Think on what Im saying.If you have any maturity and discernment you will see Im right.
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