F
I am out of control, I am depleted and destroyed, the doctors have forced me to take drugs for schizophrenia, I am more unstable on the drugs and more damaged now than before, and because of all this I am a porn addict and quitting is impossible basically because of the drugs. I am tired, I wanted to live a life that honors God but sometimes it feels like God is rejecting me and is destroying me, I am tired of the constant tribulations. I have backslidden to pornography and videogames, I am no longer reading books because I acquired ADHD from the drugs as well, and I am unable to keep commitments and thrive. I feel unclean, and hopeless in some ways. I am waiting for God and i am sinning in the midst of it, my dignity integrity and love are trodden upon, and nothing appears to be coming my way. I want to return to faith because basically my faith got destroyed over the last three years. i stayed steadfast in the Lord growing in ways, and it feels like I have been overtried and cast aside. When will God do something for me? IS there any of you who can do prophecy and recieve a word from the Lord? I am languishing in many ways and totally perverted in some ways. I want my freedom back and my life back, its like the love I had for God is being taken from me by force, its against my will.