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G
Thanks, miladies, your input is good, appreciated,for we guys' ears to hear.
Megs, your ”2.” point I.want to touch on:
This is good, it speaks of the least considered way that folks will vote in The poll likely, but IF affection is what YOU initially like from The person i personally think THAT has a,lot more chance for us to go wang chung, let's,go all The way , Nd, no , not THAT! $hame on you. How rich of you to think of that
Ima talkin' 'bout gittin HITCHED , MARRIED, boysa and gorillalies , oh, i mean, girlies,sorry, apean slip
But, yeah, i think this thread can go deeper now. The Lord leads.
Why does attraction have less of a chance of having long-lasting relationship potential than affection?
Why does affection....than attraction ?
Megs, your ”2.” point I.want to touch on:
This is good, it speaks of the least considered way that folks will vote in The poll likely, but IF affection is what YOU initially like from The person i personally think THAT has a,lot more chance for us to go wang chung, let's,go all The way , Nd, no , not THAT! $hame on you. How rich of you to think of that
Ima talkin' 'bout gittin HITCHED , MARRIED, boysa and gorillalies , oh, i mean, girlies,sorry, apean slip
But, yeah, i think this thread can go deeper now. The Lord leads.
Why does attraction have less of a chance of having long-lasting relationship potential than affection?
Why does affection....than attraction ?
G
I understand that most want to 'drive a relationship forward' by the others' affection for us, but is attraction not the root of affection.
Therefore, if 'attraction' is the root, what must 'attraction' be?
How can attraction to someone not be lust?
How can affection...lust?
Does God have anything to do with your attraction process? affection process?
can attraction not be about self desires, barleygirlfan, milady ?
Therefore, if 'attraction' is the root, what must 'attraction' be?
How can attraction to someone not be lust?
How can affection...lust?
Does God have anything to do with your attraction process? affection process?
can attraction not be about self desires, barleygirlfan, milady ?
B
Green... You are making an OLYMPIAN BROAD JUMP equating God given emotive forces to God forbidden directives. To LUST is to desire in an illicit way... it requires repetitive entertainment...and can be self controlled... which is what TEMPTATION IS... the point at where the self control switch SHOULD activate.
Scripture Tells us to Guard our hearts... this is particularly good because by "lusting" (beyond bounds) thoughts anyone can drive forward a relationship in their mind... without the participation of the other party. I have observed this in men... but it seems for frequent in women.
I think I did say attraction was self related... SELF DRIVEN is a better phrase... I think.
Scripture Tells us to Guard our hearts... this is particularly good because by "lusting" (beyond bounds) thoughts anyone can drive forward a relationship in their mind... without the participation of the other party. I have observed this in men... but it seems for frequent in women.
I think I did say attraction was self related... SELF DRIVEN is a better phrase... I think.
G
LWTLHDwoo-woo-woo, would this be 'attraction,' or, 'affection.'
Yes, well said,barleygirly, our ATTRACTION or AFFECTION can be based on negative or positive ions in us, can I say that? 'Course, the Lord leads, doesn't our Creator who made us from atoms have some say in WHO we will be attracted too by their affections, or, who we will have affection for by His bringing us a 'sparrow' set of parameters guiding our attraction?
Heavy, green !!
You are saying that I don't even really know what I want but He does, and, IF I listen to my still, small, voice that is playing over and over again in my head I will KNOW which one-affection or attraction-God's wired me for, for accepting a date (and, after time, maybe, a mate ) ?
That is EXACTLY what I am saying, kind of, God gave us brains and we are to use them, but.... Yes, that is why I say 'The Lord leads,' we are to use our brains as He wants us too, otherwise things won't be in His will, perfectly, now, can we live outside the perfect will of God, sure, we all do, at times, but, He is there to show us the Way to 'be ye perfect as I am perfect.'
Not just a person that is RIGHT for you, either, mister (or missy), but EVERY ONE and EVERY THING that is right for you
Seems like it's time for some Scripture but I can't quite place where it comes from off the top of my green head (yes, it is green, and, no dye used ) , EVERY GOOD AND PERFECT THING COMES FROM GOD
Yes, well said,barleygirly, our ATTRACTION or AFFECTION can be based on negative or positive ions in us, can I say that? 'Course, the Lord leads, doesn't our Creator who made us from atoms have some say in WHO we will be attracted too by their affections, or, who we will have affection for by His bringing us a 'sparrow' set of parameters guiding our attraction?
Heavy, green !!
You are saying that I don't even really know what I want but He does, and, IF I listen to my still, small, voice that is playing over and over again in my head I will KNOW which one-affection or attraction-God's wired me for, for accepting a date (and, after time, maybe, a mate
) ? That is EXACTLY what I am saying, kind of, God gave us brains and we are to use them, but.... Yes, that is why I say 'The Lord leads,' we are to use our brains as He wants us too, otherwise things won't be in His will, perfectly, now, can we live outside the perfect will of God, sure, we all do, at times, but, He is there to show us the Way to 'be ye perfect as I am perfect.'
Not just a person that is RIGHT for you, either, mister (or missy), but EVERY ONE and EVERY THING that is right for you
Seems like it's time for some Scripture but I can't quite place where it comes from off the top of my green head (yes, it is green, and, no dye used
) , EVERY GOOD AND PERFECT THING COMES FROM GOD
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P
What I have found through my own brokeness in this area is that to often my focus got clouded ... We go into
(mirage/oasis) type places... attracted like a magnet .. But when the fog clears. We see there was really nothing in it..
If our motives are right and do as the word says " obey as you would Christ". We remain free" in Christ" to love our partner.. As Christ loves us. (affection)
I have learned .. If I'm attracted to it .. Where is my focus going that was , just a second ago on God? lures or attraction. can be misleading ..drawing us away instead of leading us to ( an act of love-affection) God...
for we walk by faith .. Not by sight...
I'll have to go with affection as my answer... Very good question!! Thanks for posting it !
(mirage/oasis) type places... attracted like a magnet .. But when the fog clears. We see there was really nothing in it..
If our motives are right and do as the word says " obey as you would Christ". We remain free" in Christ" to love our partner.. As Christ loves us. (affection)
I have learned .. If I'm attracted to it .. Where is my focus going that was , just a second ago on God? lures or attraction. can be misleading ..drawing us away instead of leading us to ( an act of love-affection) God...
for we walk by faith .. Not by sight...
I'll have to go with affection as my answer... Very good question!! Thanks for posting it !
G
I like you vim, barleygirlie, but every good and perfect thing comes from God. This might help those that go on attraction for becoming enthralled, enthused, by a girl or guy to see that IF God has put us THAT PERSON in our sights, maybe, just maybe, attraction nor affection should matter
Note: I am not sure that 'every good and perfect gift' is speaking of spiritual gifts alone but the connection is true. Maybe, that said.....
...a guy or girl can see that driving a relationship FORWARD from the initial meeting can be neither from a foundation of attraction or affection but, instead, of basing the potential of a relationship going forward on CONNECTION , and, seeing how His gift given you who is our Helper that Jesus gave the apostles, and, everyone else once He left , is the way that you will smoothly shift gears from stopped (starting out relationship) to rolling forward and shifting into first gear (through attraction, affection, or, connection) and going forward..................
Note: I am not sure that 'every good and perfect gift' is speaking of spiritual gifts alone but the connection is true. Maybe, that said.....
...a guy or girl can see that driving a relationship FORWARD from the initial meeting can be neither from a foundation of attraction or affection but, instead, of basing the potential of a relationship going forward on CONNECTION , and, seeing how His gift given you who is our Helper that Jesus gave the apostles, and, everyone else once He left , is the way that you will smoothly shift gears from stopped (starting out relationship) to rolling forward and shifting into first gear (through attraction, affection, or, connection) and going forward..................
G
The connection of God showing you the right person, that is what's meant by the above quote, to simplify it from green to olive green
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Attraction is more than looks, isn't it? I get this vibe, that 'attraction' is mostly based on looks. Does it change your poll choice, IF 'attraction' means 'words' too, like what someone says to you that GITS you all soupy-eyed inside, or, something like that
OK, I have to be fair to 'affection,' so, what else can be 'affection,' besides, the stuff that makes you think yer mama is loving you, or, your da-da, or whoever grew you up ?
Affection can be what else ? Do they touch you on the shoulder when they are talking to you? They are not the prettiest guy or gal in the world to you, not like a '2' to you but certainly not a 8,9, or 10 eiither.
Are they that brave, to touch you, ? What IF they do? They do say one of our primary love languages is 'physical touch,' so IF a guy touches you, does that set you off happy, or, sad?
This person you meet , we are talking INITIAL encounter, they see something in you and you in them . :O What makes you go :OH, what makes you go :nO .
)()()()()()()()()()()()O)()()()()()()()(()()()()(()()o -
Attraction is more than looks, isn't it? I get this vibe, that 'attraction' is mostly based on looks. Does it change your poll choice, IF 'attraction' means 'words' too, like what someone says to you that GITS you all soupy-eyed inside, or, something like that
OK, I have to be fair to 'affection,' so, what else can be 'affection,' besides, the stuff that makes you think yer mama is loving you, or, your da-da, or whoever grew you up ?
Affection can be what else ? Do they touch you on the shoulder when they are talking to you? They are not the prettiest guy or gal in the world to you, not like a '2' to you but certainly not a 8,9, or 10 eiither.
Are they that brave, to touch you, ? What IF they do? They do say one of our primary love languages is 'physical touch,' so IF a guy touches you, does that set you off happy, or, sad?
This person you meet , we are talking INITIAL encounter, they see something in you and you in them . :O What makes you go :OH, what makes you go :nO .
G
I voted finally, I said 'attraction,' I am not really sure why, except that I am a visual person and that explains why I voted that way to me.
But, the more this thread and moved and reading responses, I realized that neither 'attraction' nor 'affection' should govern your reason for saying 'yes,' either as the ask-outer or the getting-asked-out.
YOUR decision to go OUT with someone should be based on some One, if you know what I mean, and, I mean, connecting with God, as that will influence your attraction to the person, even your affection, I think, this will sound all supernatural weird to some, OK, I can live with that, and, it sounds a lot like I think that there is ONE special person for someone. Yes and no.
I believe 'yes,' that the Lord leads us to certain relationships but we CAN make decisions that are not perfect, either we are not ready from something holding us back in life, some sin of some sort. But, this I believe, too, God will never leave us nor forsake us, and, though we err, God is abounding in grace that COVERS our sins by His ultimate grace of His Son dying on the cross. So, we will be just fine in life, despite MISSING opportunities.
So, we can have our 'attraction' or 'affection' leading us into a relationship but, ultimately, the relationship will NOT work out IF we do not ackknowledgTthat God let us , led us, into that relationship in the first place. This is how the Holy Spirit works in our life, He puts things there in front of us to help us make decisions, He is our 'Helper' Scripture tells us, and, is much like a WIFE , that was Adam's 'helper,' right? God used the same word, 'helper,' for women for man, and, the Holy Spirit for man and woman.
Anyway, I'm getting to deep with some of ya, so I will stop, just saying that our CONNECTION with God will make certain we do NOT spin our wheels in becoming attracted or affected by someone who crosses our path, for the first time in our life. He will provide the BELLS, He also will provide the 'arrow,' IF it's meant to be, true wuv
But, the more this thread and moved and reading responses, I realized that neither 'attraction' nor 'affection' should govern your reason for saying 'yes,' either as the ask-outer or the getting-asked-out.
YOUR decision to go OUT with someone should be based on some One, if you know what I mean, and, I mean, connecting with God, as that will influence your attraction to the person, even your affection, I think, this will sound all supernatural weird to some, OK, I can live with that, and, it sounds a lot like I think that there is ONE special person for someone. Yes and no.
I believe 'yes,' that the Lord leads us to certain relationships but we CAN make decisions that are not perfect, either we are not ready from something holding us back in life, some sin of some sort.
But, this I believe, too, God will never leave us nor forsake us, and, though we err, God is abounding in grace that COVERS our sins by His ultimate grace of His Son dying on the cross. So, we will be just fine in life, despite MISSING opportunities. So, we can have our 'attraction' or 'affection' leading us into a relationship but, ultimately, the relationship will NOT work out IF we do not ackknowledgTthat God let us , led us, into that relationship in the first place. This is how the Holy Spirit works in our life, He puts things there in front of us to help us make decisions, He is our 'Helper' Scripture tells us, and, is much like a WIFE , that was Adam's 'helper,' right? God used the same word, 'helper,' for women for man, and, the Holy Spirit for man and woman.
Anyway, I'm getting to deep with some of ya, so I will stop, just saying that our CONNECTION with God will make certain we do NOT spin our wheels in becoming attracted or affected by someone who crosses our path, for the first time in our life. He will provide the BELLS, He also will provide the 'arrow,' IF it's meant to be, true wuv
I've seen this question posted a lot. And my honest answer is "The Connection". ON some deeper level there has to be a bond between people. There has to be a facet of both hearts that agree, "You are a unique and irreplaceable part of my existence." No matter if you were burned from head to toe, Quadriplegic, brain damaged or otherwise remain the same.
I would assume He did not marry you for the size of your chest or the curvature of your bottom. He did not fall in love with the style of your hair or the cut of your dress. I believe True Love really is blind. If he loves you, he did so not for any feature you may possess but for who you are, and as much as you might think that you could be traded in, you can't. There is only one of you to go around, and if he is true, then he will make sure you never forget that you belong to each other.
Age and beauty can be inversely proportional. When old people are together and have stayed together for a long time, its not because they chose to trade or or because they have some strange belief that they have picked the MOST attractive partner possible, it is because of Love. Love says, I chose you and I wouldn't share all the years of my life with anyone else.
I would assume He did not marry you for the size of your chest or the curvature of your bottom. He did not fall in love with the style of your hair or the cut of your dress. I believe True Love really is blind. If he loves you, he did so not for any feature you may possess but for who you are, and as much as you might think that you could be traded in, you can't. There is only one of you to go around, and if he is true, then he will make sure you never forget that you belong to each other.
Age and beauty can be inversely proportional. When old people are together and have stayed together for a long time, its not because they chose to trade or or because they have some strange belief that they have picked the MOST attractive partner possible, it is because of Love. Love says, I chose you and I wouldn't share all the years of my life with anyone else.
G
Only God keeps us from losing that attraction, we are to do things for God, for His glory, whatever we do, and, keeping in love with your spouse will take an unselfishness desire beyond what your human mind can comprehend. And, you're in luck, the peace of God passes ALL understanding, and, there will come times that you are NOT in love with your spouse, but, you will still know them and you will still know God and THAT bond will be the Rock of understanding for solidifying your love forever, on Earth, for your spouse.
See above answer, God bless your heart, liamsON, for following after Him for true love, realize that God's plan for you is out there, like a line from The Last Starfighter sage, Morgan Freeman, asking how he's going to beat the enemies when he's but a 'boy' (teen) and they are many, 'You have to grab the wheel with both hands and hold on tight.'
Who is steering? You decide. But, to help you out, we are to be a 'pure vessel,' of which God can move. Oh, God will move us IF we have chosen Him, but understanding His grace in moving us is important, and, understanding His mercy, too, for in that understanding is what I believe our love for ourselves is based and, of course, our ultimate understanding is God seen at work in our lives
This 'love' definition of vessel to me, sounds like the bond God intended for us, the connection. Once He sent His Son to save us from being enemies of Him and save us from being unable to go see Him after we die we were loved, again, before that, no (Read Zechariah's last chapter) . Indeed, true love never dies, but ONLY if it's grounded in Him as our foundation for ALL that goes on in our life, we are the worker, God says there is much work to be done, by attraction to Him and affection for His work, we will workers be , buzzing for His next big thing for us to be connection in our life, maybe, love, maybe, marriage, maybe, truss romance , fraught with adventure like a runaway horse and carriage and you riding in beside the craft and pulling the princess onto your horse and riding off. Maybe not will it be at all like that for you and your attraction and affection to another
So, my conclusion is, that we have both attraction AND affection for our lives, and, I said 'attraction,' but we ALL know that the human mind is fickle, at best, deceptively evil at worst, just like Jeremiah tells us are our hearts, in Scripture, but, God is the remedy for our seemingly fateful disconnect, and, His following of Him by us is how we get the connection of 'love' that we want even though we may not even know that is how we want it. The Lord leads
See above answer, God bless your heart, liamsON, for following after Him for true love, realize that God's plan for you is out there, like a line from The Last Starfighter sage, Morgan Freeman, asking how he's going to beat the enemies when he's but a 'boy' (teen) and they are many, 'You have to grab the wheel with both hands and hold on tight.'
Who is steering? You decide. But, to help you out, we are to be a 'pure vessel,' of which God can move. Oh, God will move us IF we have chosen Him, but understanding His grace in moving us is important, and, understanding His mercy, too, for in that understanding is what I believe our love for ourselves is based and, of course, our ultimate understanding is God seen at work in our lives
This 'love' definition of vessel to me, sounds like the bond God intended for us, the connection. Once He sent His Son to save us from being enemies of Him and save us from being unable to go see Him after we die we were loved, again, before that, no (Read Zechariah's last chapter) . Indeed, true love never dies, but ONLY if it's grounded in Him as our foundation for ALL that goes on in our life, we are the worker, God says there is much work to be done, by attraction to Him and affection for His work, we will workers be , buzzing for His next big thing for us to be connection in our life, maybe, love, maybe, marriage, maybe, truss romance , fraught with adventure like a runaway horse and carriage and you riding in beside the craft and pulling the princess onto your horse and riding off. Maybe not will it be at all like that for you and your attraction and affection to another
So, my conclusion is, that we have both attraction AND affection for our lives, and, I said 'attraction,' but we ALL know that the human mind is fickle, at best, deceptively evil at worst, just like Jeremiah tells us are our hearts
, in Scripture, but, God is the remedy for our seemingly fateful disconnect, and, His following of Him by us is how we get the connection of 'love' that we want even though we may not even know that is how we want it. The Lord leads