That's better, Fester..
I'll edit and repost without the sarcasm.
There are many here that will be happy to teach you how to receive what you're asking for.
There is nothing wrong with that, is there?
Acts 8:
30) And Philip ran thither to
him, and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest?
31) And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him.
Some will instruct you on how to practice speaking in tongues. It doesn't always come naturally to everybody.
Many people are afraid, or unsure. Tell me, fester... How do you see the experience happening? (if you can, I know you're not a believer.) Do you think God is going to 'possess' you? Do you think you're going to be sitting there and words will start magically coming out of your mouth? The apostles did the speaking. Those born again in acts did the speaking. Holy spirit does not make you do anything. You have the ability, you have to do the speaking. People do not always understand this. They're waiting for God to "do" something. He already has, the rest is up to you. Some people need this explained to them.
And after you're able to speak full sentences,
Sorry, that is still sarcastic..
you'll be greatly edified by the knowledge and proof that you now have been baptized in the spirit.
I Cor 14:
4) He that speaketh in an
unknown tongue edifieth himself;
5) I would that ye all spake with tongues,
14) For if I pray in an
unknown tongue, my spirit prayeth,
15) What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also:
17) For thou verily givest thanks well
You have many apostles and prophets here on this forum to give you new knowledge that God's giving to His people today.
I'm with you on this... Extremely skeptical.
They are who and what they say they are.
Again, highly doubtful, especially when they claim to be speaking things from God that contradict the written Word. If it contradicts the bible, it ain't from God.
With the proper training, you'll cast demons out of God's people too if this is your calling.
Do you believe demons exist? Or did they end at the end of the "apostolic era" along with the "gifts"?
I'm no longer ignorant about what I speak
Well.......