F
Sure could use prayer.. I married 8 years ago.. to a man who I believed to be my gift from God. I really thought we did it right.. 1 year after we were married.. drinking starting, his mom tells me he was an alcoholic before we met.. but I had no clue for the year before we married.. it got worse over the years. but he was a functioning alcoholic.. he has brought me a long way in my spiritual walk.. Caring loving man.. who walked the walk.. with the exception of the beer drinking... then the drinking increased over time.. over the last year.. he was able to get free beer through his work.. and he stated it was a gift from God.. stepping away more and more from spiritual things.. bible reading rare.. and wasnt even really wanting to go to church anymore... then one night a few weeks ago he stays up drinking really heavy.. and tells me he didnt want to be married.. I asked him when he decided that.. and the shock hit me.. he said before we married.. I said "Why did you marry me"? he said he thought it was Gods will.. but has been miserable since.. that he's always been a loner and never wants any relationship... He said he tried.. and he cried. he said he loved me but was not in love with me. He said he has never been in love with anyone. And would never have a relationship again. Told me I was his best friend.. and was afraid to lose that.. Said all he wanted for years and years was just to die and be with the Lord. My world is upside down.. we didnt even argue.. His father was an alcoholic and his mom a devout christian.. who stood by his dad.. she gave me strenght to get through.. the realization he was an alcoholic.. something he promised before marriage I would never ever have to worry about.. I am lost.. I cant seem to find in the bible.. where a man abandons his wife.. because.. he wants to be alone.. anyway.. needed to vent.. Im so devistated.. I am 52.. this was my second marriage.. my 1st was to a man for 22 years.. who was an alcoholic, and cheated.. and I dealt with it all.. until he made passes at my sons Wife.. it was too much to bear.. I left.. would appreciate.. any christian advice as to where do I go from here.. I pray alot.. read my bible.. try to find some happiness.. I dont have a lot.. a small place.. that is paid for I am so thankful and a part time job that supports me.. I am so thankful for these things. but so lost as to why this is all happening to me.. My decision to marry this man.. was because I believed it was Gods will.. I prayed about it for quite sometime before I got married.. I remember one prayer before I married him.. I was on my knees.. talking to my Father.. saying i would rather be alone all my life.. rather than marrying someone out of His will for me.. I didnt want to do it my way, I wanted only Gods will for me and believed truly that it was his will for me to marry this man.. ..