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I fell in love with a friend about 3 years ago. He led me on, I bared my heart over and over to him. He kept coming back to see me. Not once did he say he didn't care. I gave him a travel coffee mug as an Easter gift filled with chocolate. I never saw him after that. No thank or anything.That was a year ago. I sought him out and confronted him. I told him that everytime I told him how I felt that he had the opportunity to stop it and he said nothing. I grieved him and moved on or so I thought. Old wounds have been reopened and I'm back to square one. If I listen to the bible, it tells me to turn the other cheek 77 times I think. I see him at work on occasion. He says hello. I say nothing. I feel like he was sent by the devil to ruin me. I have prayed so hard in every possible way. God will not take these feelings away again. I do not say hello because I feel hatred in my heart for what he has done. He has not repented and apologized. I have decided to stay away from his side of the building even though it means spending less time with my female friend chatting.It has come to my ears that he has started to use my coffee mug and takes it everywhere which he refused to before. When i see him, I don't feel an inch of christlike. I want him to pay for what he did and feel the pain I felt/feel. I can't bring myself to say hello. I want him to burn in hell. I'm in spiritual warfare right now. I do not know how to act as a Christian. I don't feel like I should acknowledge him after the way he treated me. I don't feel like there is anything left to say nor do I believe in fake niceties. I try so hard to be a Christian in my life but I'm always tested. The more I become closer to God the more I'm tested. Its been one bad thing after another since I made another major change in my life to bring me closer to God. And these feelings coming back up after all these months is part of this spiritual war. I think it best to stay away so I don't have to be given the choice to act Christ like or not. And to do what's best for me. Maybe, If I don't see him, I will forget about him again. Everyone says it is just a simple hello. It's not that simple. I don't want to do what the bible says. I need help. I also feel like the devil does his worst damage through my dreams. It's like he wants to pull me back in.
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