D
So let's say I was raised, and still being raised, with everyone telling me not to trust anyone including family. Let's say I no longer trust anyone and if I do something that makes me dependent on someone else, like having to take a bus to school, I don't trust that I don't think we'll crash and die in a horrible accident that I see as the best case senario.
Now let's say I hear about an omnipotent creator who loves everyone and whatever, and so I decide to learn more about it. Let's say I read a dumbed down version of the bible because I can barely understand old english and the riddles are to confusing. I read little to nothing on how much God loves us other than the cross so I start looking things up online. I feel like with Jesus I just feel sorry for him because he died a horrific death for virtually nothing and start feeling a little less than what I feel for my mom towards God(and let's say at the time I didn't like my mom for various reasons)
Let's say I got to a point where I see God as a liar or just doesn't care about us(I say or because if he doesn't care then I'll just think he's having his own fun)and that with or without him our lives mean nothing because and it would probably be better without him because if we die we wouldn't have to keep living forever and probably be in horrible pain for the rest of existance because we didn't live to his standards.
Now let's just say that I do think this and the thoughts been growing for years, because of that, everytime I hear about God's love I feel a hate deep inside of me because all I hear is a lie, a disgusting lie. And let's say that if I really have to stand before him when I die, I will (if he doesn't just answer me before I open my mouth) tell him how much I hate him for creating me, just so I can live forever in torment. And if the answer is just for him to be loved/to love/to be glorified/or whatever else, I'll know he never cared. Because I'm one of hundreds of trillions(dead, alive, and unborn)so that would mean my existance is just a waste like everything else, and that he never really cared.
Now let's say I hear about an omnipotent creator who loves everyone and whatever, and so I decide to learn more about it. Let's say I read a dumbed down version of the bible because I can barely understand old english and the riddles are to confusing. I read little to nothing on how much God loves us other than the cross so I start looking things up online. I feel like with Jesus I just feel sorry for him because he died a horrific death for virtually nothing and start feeling a little less than what I feel for my mom towards God(and let's say at the time I didn't like my mom for various reasons)
Let's say I got to a point where I see God as a liar or just doesn't care about us(I say or because if he doesn't care then I'll just think he's having his own fun)and that with or without him our lives mean nothing because and it would probably be better without him because if we die we wouldn't have to keep living forever and probably be in horrible pain for the rest of existance because we didn't live to his standards.
Now let's just say that I do think this and the thoughts been growing for years, because of that, everytime I hear about God's love I feel a hate deep inside of me because all I hear is a lie, a disgusting lie. And let's say that if I really have to stand before him when I die, I will (if he doesn't just answer me before I open my mouth) tell him how much I hate him for creating me, just so I can live forever in torment. And if the answer is just for him to be loved/to love/to be glorified/or whatever else, I'll know he never cared. Because I'm one of hundreds of trillions(dead, alive, and unborn)so that would mean my existance is just a waste like everything else, and that he never really cared.