C
We have been married ten years. He is a pastor. I am a SAHM. We have two beautiful girls - a five year old and an eighteen month old.
Let me tell you his normal day. He sleeps at night. Wakes up and drives our older daughter to school. Comes back and has his breakfast while watching some tv. Then it's time for his morning prayer followed by a nap. Then he wakes up in time for lunch. Eats while watching tv again. Gives the kids their baths and sits down with the newspaper for an hour. Or more tv. Then the kids nap. When they wake up, he retreats into his study for his work/personal time - praying, working out, calling people up etc. Comes out in time for prayer and bible reading and helps me gets the kids to bed. And then he wants sex. Then on Friday Saturday and Sunday, the days he is busiest with work - he cannot be disturbed. He needs silence and needs to pray and work.
and he always wants sex. Even if we had sex yesterday. And if I don't cooperate, I get the silent treatment and evil eye for days.
I am not perfect. His complaints about me - I spend too much time on my phone. I sometimes don't shower for days - I feel so frustrated and tired that I don't want to. I don't clean up enough. He's very organized and clean. But I'm too tired.
I yell at the kids a lot. I am always cranky. I am too dominating and order him around. Apparently asking some to hand you something or asking someone to zip up a bag cos your hands are full is ordering around. I am overweight. I don't make any money. I have no drive to accomplish anything. I don't ever initiate or want sex. I am selfish and controlling.
I feel like everyone in the family gets to choose how much they want to so and when. And I have to do the rest - whether I want to or not. And I still have to be minty fresh, dressed to the nines and smiling while doing it all. And when I speak my mind, he says he does more around the house than most men do.
He is never physically abusive. He loves the kids. He provides. He prays. He is a good man. But I feel like his doormat.
I am tired. Help.
Let me tell you his normal day. He sleeps at night. Wakes up and drives our older daughter to school. Comes back and has his breakfast while watching some tv. Then it's time for his morning prayer followed by a nap. Then he wakes up in time for lunch. Eats while watching tv again. Gives the kids their baths and sits down with the newspaper for an hour. Or more tv. Then the kids nap. When they wake up, he retreats into his study for his work/personal time - praying, working out, calling people up etc. Comes out in time for prayer and bible reading and helps me gets the kids to bed. And then he wants sex. Then on Friday Saturday and Sunday, the days he is busiest with work - he cannot be disturbed. He needs silence and needs to pray and work.
and he always wants sex. Even if we had sex yesterday. And if I don't cooperate, I get the silent treatment and evil eye for days.
I am not perfect. His complaints about me - I spend too much time on my phone. I sometimes don't shower for days - I feel so frustrated and tired that I don't want to. I don't clean up enough. He's very organized and clean. But I'm too tired.
I yell at the kids a lot. I am always cranky. I am too dominating and order him around. Apparently asking some to hand you something or asking someone to zip up a bag cos your hands are full is ordering around. I am overweight. I don't make any money. I have no drive to accomplish anything. I don't ever initiate or want sex. I am selfish and controlling.
I feel like everyone in the family gets to choose how much they want to so and when. And I have to do the rest - whether I want to or not. And I still have to be minty fresh, dressed to the nines and smiling while doing it all. And when I speak my mind, he says he does more around the house than most men do.
He is never physically abusive. He loves the kids. He provides. He prays. He is a good man. But I feel like his doormat.
I am tired. Help.