B
My husband and I have jad so many arguments over the course of our relationship w/ each one escalating to greater levels. We've had some conversations, when calm, and have identified the lack od communication to be one of our biggest problems. I've told him how I feel and vice versa. We agree to make changes amd move on.this cycle has repeated itself for about 5 years now. I've become so tired. I have no emotional connection w/ him anymore. When I try to talk to him about this and tell him exactly how I feel, his immediate response is to retaliate and basically repeat what I say and refuse to communicate. He recently told me that he couldn't change anymore and if he did, he wouldn't be himself and would be even more unhappy, which he doesn't want. As soon as he said that, it was an immediate signal to me that we probably shouldn't be together anymore if that's how he really feels. I believe we are constantly growing and changing, just as a human species. If I'm confiding in my husband and telling him I'm not connecting emotionally b/c honestly, nothing is being done to resolve this, and his response is basically I'm not changing anything else, then I see no reason for us to stay married. I don't want to get a divorce. But, I just can't continue to be unhappy and deal w/ someone who is unwilling to address issues as they arise, much less do anything to reslove them. He'd rather never confront the issue and hope it goes away. When I choose to talk about anything that's bothering me, he tells me not everything has to be discussed. He says some things are better left alone. I just don't agree. So, where we are now is...should we divorce? I know God is against this. But, I can't keep repeating this cycle over and over. My husband says he doesn't want a divorce not because he loves me, but because he already has 1 son w/ another woman and we have 1 year old twins. He doesn't want to keep repeating this pattern of having kids and no relationship. I have 1 daughter who is not his and whom he refuses to adopt b/c he says he feels our relationship is so unstable. This really hurts me b/c her father is not around and has never been. His son has him and his own mother. He's told my daughter 3 times in the last 4 years that he's going to adopt her and change hher last name to his. It's never happened and my duaghter always asks me about it. She always wonders why he makes these promises and doesn't follow through. I'm fed up with his complacency. What do I do? I love him. But, it's just not enough anymore. We probably should not have gotten married. But, too little too late. I need some real advice. Please help.