S
I just kind of randomly came across this site.. and saw the prayer board here and thought I'd send in a request.
There's been a lot going on for awhile now.. I've been trying my hardest to just stay strong but it's getting harder and harder and I've been extremely close to suicide lately. (for a lot of reasons that I don't really want to get into here) I'm actually a little nervous about even posting this.. because a few weeks ago when I called a hope coach to just talk.. he called the cops on me because I stupidly mentioned I was thinking about suicide.
Honestly.. the main problems are spiritual and.. I just feel like such a screw up. All I seem to do is let Him down over and over... and no matter how hard I try to make things right, it just gets worse. I've done some really awful things.. and my biggest fear is that I've crossed the line, and it's too late... God's the one who matters most.. and I'm terrified I've messed things up with Him.
Forgive me if that doesn't make much sense, its 5 am here and I haven't slept yet so I'm sure my phrasing is a bit off..
I've also been struggling with a cutting addiction which has been a problem for about 7 years and it really doesn't help matters.. I've stopped on and off for about 6 months each time, but something usually ends up happening or I convince myself it'll somehow help things if I do it again which it of course never does..
I really don't know what to do... I try to fix things.. fix myself but I always end up in the same place again and my prayers seem like they just go unheard.
Please pray for me, I'm just.. really lost right now
I really appreciate it guys
There's been a lot going on for awhile now.. I've been trying my hardest to just stay strong but it's getting harder and harder and I've been extremely close to suicide lately. (for a lot of reasons that I don't really want to get into here) I'm actually a little nervous about even posting this.. because a few weeks ago when I called a hope coach to just talk.. he called the cops on me because I stupidly mentioned I was thinking about suicide.
Honestly.. the main problems are spiritual and.. I just feel like such a screw up. All I seem to do is let Him down over and over... and no matter how hard I try to make things right, it just gets worse. I've done some really awful things.. and my biggest fear is that I've crossed the line, and it's too late... God's the one who matters most.. and I'm terrified I've messed things up with Him.
Forgive me if that doesn't make much sense, its 5 am here and I haven't slept yet so I'm sure my phrasing is a bit off..
I've also been struggling with a cutting addiction which has been a problem for about 7 years and it really doesn't help matters.. I've stopped on and off for about 6 months each time, but something usually ends up happening or I convince myself it'll somehow help things if I do it again which it of course never does..
I really don't know what to do... I try to fix things.. fix myself but I always end up in the same place again and my prayers seem like they just go unheard.
Please pray for me, I'm just.. really lost right now
I really appreciate it guys