If I understood you correctly (English is NOT my native language); so you're gay, do not want it to be. I was transsexual, and am no more after surgery and the changes in the documents.
I grew up in the Mormon Church to a cult that claims to be Christian, but is unchristian. There I had my CO. Previously I had been struggling for decades against my feelings. I made two suicide attempts had depression, and picked up the alcohol (and felt guilty because of the Word of Wisdom). After my second suicide attempt (I had swallowed pills and alcohol), I realized I was transsexual, nothing and no one can change that, and I have to live with it. I was married and the father of two children. I wanted to put neither marriage in jeopardy, nor lose my children.
But I lost both, and won much more.
For the woman in me could not be further displace, even with medication and psychological tricks do not (a beard grow). And so I told my wife one day. We got divorced, and I could see my children ever again. I was excommunicated from the LDS, and was not allowed to talk to anyone in the LDS.
I went my way. Now I am free of depression, happy and have no more thoughts of suicide.
God loves me as I am, and he does not care if I heterosexual, gay or a Martian.
One more thing:
Someone mentioned the book of Romans, according to which homosexuality is "unnatural". The Greek word for this is "Para-physin", and it means that someone is going against their own nature. So for example, if a heterosexual male is operated homosexual. What is the gay man "naturally" (Greek "physin"), is unnatural for the heterosexual man. By the way, Paul also spoke here about pagan temple rituals and the turning away from God, and not to make self-inflicted capital to a god. This will clear any village idiot who reads the entire chapter (best in ancient Greek).
I grew up in the Mormon Church to a cult that claims to be Christian, but is unchristian. There I had my CO. Previously I had been struggling for decades against my feelings. I made two suicide attempts had depression, and picked up the alcohol (and felt guilty because of the Word of Wisdom). After my second suicide attempt (I had swallowed pills and alcohol), I realized I was transsexual, nothing and no one can change that, and I have to live with it. I was married and the father of two children. I wanted to put neither marriage in jeopardy, nor lose my children.
But I lost both, and won much more.
For the woman in me could not be further displace, even with medication and psychological tricks do not (a beard grow). And so I told my wife one day. We got divorced, and I could see my children ever again. I was excommunicated from the LDS, and was not allowed to talk to anyone in the LDS.
I went my way. Now I am free of depression, happy and have no more thoughts of suicide.
God loves me as I am, and he does not care if I heterosexual, gay or a Martian.
One more thing:
Someone mentioned the book of Romans, according to which homosexuality is "unnatural". The Greek word for this is "Para-physin", and it means that someone is going against their own nature. So for example, if a heterosexual male is operated homosexual. What is the gay man "naturally" (Greek "physin"), is unnatural for the heterosexual man. By the way, Paul also spoke here about pagan temple rituals and the turning away from God, and not to make self-inflicted capital to a god. This will clear any village idiot who reads the entire chapter (best in ancient Greek).