"I want to clean up after the dog."
Said by a doctor --
"I have no idea how to treat that."
"It's not the smoking, drinking, or overeating that will kill you. It's green leafy vegetables."
"I couldn't help you, so here's your money back."
Said by lawyers --
"That's a stupid reason to sue."
"50% of all cases are lost."
"No need to have me read that contract for you."
Said by politicians --
"I really don't do anything important, so close out my job."
"Don't take my word on this. I'm just trying to get reelected."
"We can't keep within our own budget, so we'll tax you on your soda, and call it 'for pre-school education.' Alright with you?"
Said by a tax collector --
"Of course, I don't understand the tax code. No one does."
Said by on-air meteorologists --
"It will be an average day for the next ten days."
Said by MSM --
"Here's the real story behind my opinion."
"Although the politician is in my political party and believes what I believe, don't trust either one of us."
"Nothing interesting happened today."
"Of course, hearing what 'the common people' think about this story isn't the news, but don't you want to be on TV anyway?"